Skyrim Creation Kit

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

I like the story. Do you want grammar and structure advise? I can think of a few things to alter that would make the story a little less run-on and a little more head-on.

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

Anything and everything you can suggest would be appreciated. I really enjoy writing, but I'm having a problem finding my voice.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

No sweat. Lemme take a stab at it. I can't help but read things the way I think they should be written... and not how they ARE. It even comes across when I read books aloud to people. I often get comments on how I "changed the words" or how "Peter Cottontail isn't a racist". You know... the usual stuff.

---------- Post added at 01:58 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:04 AM ----------

Yyg's Edit: Take it or leave it. Changes are noted in Red

The first 2/3rds of Where the Wind Goes, A Wanderer's Tale

In (the barren land of ______) amidst the cold of snow and stone, a tragedy befell a quiet town of the learned. The population was all but eradicated in an instant, leaving one boy in particular without a family. Although it would be likely that he could have likely found a kind family to foster him, something called him out into the night. While the remaining townspeople were busy pointing fingers at one another, the boy slipped away unnoticed.

The cold was bitter and the winds were harsh, but the boy was called by a voice on the wind that compelled him to push ever onward. After a time, overcome with exhaustion, he stopped to rest. When he awoke, he noticed that near where he lay, nestled in the snow, was a ring. Instantly realizing an unspoken purpose to the ring, he eagerly slipped it onto his finger. Within moments, the winds softened and the cold was replaced by a comfortable warmth.

After ushering him blindly into the desolate wilds, Kynareth had finally granted the boy her boon, the first of two.

At the beck and call of a divine, the boy wandered without home or purpose through many a land. He witnessed sights both horrifying and spectacular. Sights such as the Orsimer warring over blood-debt, a diminutive feline hurling bolts of flame at men from treetops and cities of mer built atop the very eldritch trees themselves. He moved as the wind, occasionally passing through towns where he would quietly socialize and pick up a skill or two from the locals before evaporating into the wild once again.

As he grew older, he could feel the calling fade from his mind. He found himself spending more and more time in each settlement, often finding work and falling in with the locals. He even found himself in the middle of various conflicts at an increasing rate, quickly picking up the necessary skills with which to diffuse the situation.

This next part confuses me. You might want to explain the exact circumstance where-in he obtains the shield. We just made a dramatic leap from childhood to adulthood and now poof... suddenly a shield. Where did it come from? Just a thought.

Kynareth had granted him one final boon before disappearing from his mind completely; a shield that bathed a person in a cool, energizing wind. With shield and ring he braved the wilds. As time passed, his confidence grew. This was a confidence unknown to him until now. It was a confidence that convinced him he was finally on his own.

He turned up next in a small, isolated town flanked by swamps and mountains. Here he had found employment with a local family who were under threat by their rivals. The family themselves owned and operated the lumber mill. They also did what they could to collect local plants to fashion into various medicines. Their rivals were jealous of their success and were acting on it more violently as time passed. His abilities suited his new station as the family's body guard nicely. He was a natural at it; from behind his shield he could stave off even the most brutal of advances. His employer's safety was all but guaranteed.

The family was both generous and thankful for his efforts and he was happy to help, especially because they had a daughter that the wanderer had grown to be exceedingly fond of. She was a talented chemist and spent her days either collecting ingredients from the surrounding landscape or combining them into beneficial potions. He was often tasked with escorting her, and even gifted her Kynareth's ring on occasion to protect her from the region's harsh weather.

He was finally beginning to feel a part of something... when the unthinkable happened.

The duo had just returned home from gathering herbs late one evening to see pillars of black smoke on the horizon. They shared a quick glance and broke into sprint. When the trees parted and it became clear that it was their own house, the girl pressed forward, unphased. With tears in her eyes, the wanderer caught her hand to try and keep her from foolishly running headlong into certain death. Driven to madness, she slipped though his fingers and he was helpless to watch as the flames consumed the threshold behind her. Overwhelmed with the heat of the fire and left with only her ring in his hand, he barely noticed the shadowy figures lurking around near the home. Consumed with rage, he adopted an orange glow that seemed to emanate from somewhere deep within himself. As they neared, the glow grew stronger. Bringing his shield to bear, his mind became a haze and he awoke the next morning beside nothing more than ash and cinder.

Eh?

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

Looks good, although I do feel we have a few creative differences. I'm going to make some of the changes the next time I get a burst of motivation to work on it.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

Looks good, although I do feel we have a few creative differences.

Of course we do. I don't expect you to use all of my changes... or even most of them really. I'm just helping the creative juices. Use what you like... discard the rest. No worries.

Ultimately I like the story. I want to read what you have planned for the rest of it.

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

I just began reading A Game of Thrones, while simultaneously watching the television series. How do people write so elegantly, but concisely? I know a lot of it comes with practice, but I can't even get a sense of it. I feel like everything I put down reads like an instruction manual.

Arg, anyways. I've updated the that last portion with some of your changes that I liked. I'll get around to giving the last portion an edit and toss it by you guys if you could give it the same look-over. It is a bit open-ended, but I hope to tell that with the dungeon.

Thanks Yyg

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

NP. Did you make the changes here in that first post? Or just as part of what you're putting together for the final product?

Also: If you were talking about my writing... it's far from elegant... but I appreciate the compliment none-the-less.

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

I can't judge your writing, but I can tell you I like it. One day I think I'll be a great writer, but I've got a few hurdles to leap. I decided Skyrim might be a great place to give this a try, and I actually wrote a complete, second book for the mod.

It's odd that I can't bring myself to finish editing the essential book, and there I went writing out something else. I guess it's true that you've got to like what you're writing. I hope I don't completely eclipse the main story with this second one.

Anyways, I'm almost done, and I really want to get this into your hands. There's some humor in it I think only certain people will understand, you guys of course.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

I had this quest idea hit me the other day, even though I don't have the game on PC.

The quest is triggered by pick pocketing a note off of M'iaq the Liar. The note talks of a stash of valuables M'iaq has hidden away there. M'iaq being who he is, however, cant even be honest with the things he writes. The note tells you, for example, to find a city where all races get along and to speak with blacksmith's son about a debt the son owes him. That would not be Windhelm, but it is and the blacksmith has a daughter M'iaq owes money for a sword.

She expects payment and assuming you're a associate, demands payment. You settle the debt and she gives you some note M'iaq left behind. Another note, another lie.

More or less a small series of trollish misadventures testing player knowledge and sometimes landing them in hot water and ending with a reward from M'iaq.

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

I second that idea. I think I could have some fun with it if you wouldn't mind me adding it to my queue.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

You're welcome to use it. If you want I'll spend some time thinking up the various notes/objectives and TES trivia that might spice up the notes.

M'iaq is a character that actually challenges my lack of brevity, but its fun to get inside his head.

Possible quest name: The Elder Trolls

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

A problem with this came to me, that I would be unable to add any new dialogue to existing characters. I'm not even familiar with adding dialogue to new characters.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

Well I had thoughts about if that was even possible with text for NPCs. My fallback would be a series of "dead drops" of searching for the next note/clue/lie and dealing with the ambushes and traps to progress. Most of what I was imagining used existing places or NPCs that are flagged to not die.

It could work as a note/objective-driven quest. I'll work up a draft in the next couple of days.

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

Sorry for the delay:

Steam Workshop :: The Wanderer's Tale

Please let me know what you think, and then give it 5 stars out of 5.





















Seriously.

[DakAttack]

Re: Skyrim Creation Kit

So did you guys check the mod out? Was it so bad you forwent commenting?