Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

[Etra]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Came up because my friend and his partner are okay with each other doing oral with other guys -- just not anal. Friend said his partner is probably having sex with his boss... Which is where the topic came up from. I don't classify it as sex, but it is definitely cheating. Hell, kissing is cheating in my book. <.<

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

I agree with that, too. But some people dig being in open relationships, so I guess if that works for them then whatever. Personally, I don't like to share.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

There are certain members of this very forum community who are pretty knowledgeable on open relationships and the classifications of various activities with others while in such a relationship. I'm not outing them, but if they see this... perhaps they can volunteer further information on the subject.

[DakAttack]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Came up because my friend and his partner are okay with each other doing oral with other guys -- just not anal. Friend said his partner is probably having sex with his boss... Which is where the topic came up from. I don't classify it as sex, but it is definitely cheating. Hell, kissing is cheating in my book. <.<

Doesn't anal require a lot of preparation? It's not like you can say, "you, me, under the cash register, five minutes," and jump right into it.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Doesn't anal require a lot of preparation? It's not like you can say, "you, me, under the cash register, five minutes," and jump right into it.

His friend's partner was leaving the house one day with a backpack full of lube, butt plugs, anal beads and condoms. When questioned, all he said was "Because: Work".

[Firewind]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Okay. Do you consider oral sex, well, sex? Was having a conversation with a friend about it. Personally, don't count it as such.

Discuss. Or moderate my post if it's too racy. Whichever.

People say it's not sex because it is not Sexual Intercourse which often shows a lack of knowledge or education on the subject. Non-Penetrative sex is still sex. The people who insist that it is not are usually too emotionally immature to be having sex in the first place, or are the type to cheat because "Oh well oral doesn't count because nothing went in!". People try to make distinctions and say certain things don't count to ease their own conscience about being a horrible person that cheats on their partner. People can do a lot of shitty things if they think that they aren't responsible for it or have some bullshit cop out excuse like certain things not counting because nothing went in or something.

Then again I am not really willing to label everyone who doesn't class it as sex a horrible person who will inevitable cheat on their partner. Part of it is from terrible education on sex, sexuality and relationships. Lazy parenting and poor education from both parents and teachers is responsible for a lot of problems in society.

As for Open Relationships...I don't think I've met anyone personally that has ever made it work. Jealousy is part of human nature. I'm not saying it is impossible to get one to work but it requires a considerable amount of maturity from everyone involved, something that many people do not have. Plus a number of people use the term "Oh we're in an open relationship" to sleep around or as some kind of male power fantasy which really isn't what they are about. Again this may well be down to poor education due to Hanlon's Razor.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

People say it's not sex because it is not Sexual Intercourse which often shows a lack of knowledge or education on the subject. Non-Penetrative sex is still sex. The people who insist that it is not are usually too emotionally immature to be having sex in the first place, or are the type to cheat because "Oh well oral doesn't count because nothing went in!".

[DakAttack]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

His friend's partner was leaving the house one day with a backpack full of lube, butt plugs, anal beads and condoms. When questioned, all he said was "Because: Work".

Sounds like typical camping gear to me.

[Etra]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Doesn't anal require a lot of preparation? It's not like you can say, "you, me, under the cash register, five minutes," and jump right into it.

Depends on the person and their dietary habits. Not to mention, if you're willing to risk the mess. Some guys don't care. Some do.

Anyways, just don't think oral isn't sex because it's not really intimate compared to vaginal/anal. Still classify it as cheating.

[Yellow Mage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Sounds like typical camping gear to me.

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

There are certain members of this very forum community who are pretty knowledgeable on open relationships and the classifications of various activities with others while in such a relationship. I'm not outing them, but if they see this... perhaps they can volunteer further information on the subject.

Erm ... Are you talking about me? Funny I should happen to log in today and stumble on this. I think I may have directly stated on here at some point that my marriage is open or polyamorous. I can't say how many as a percentage of open relationships are stable and healthy, but they do exist. Obviously there's a lot of potential for one person to get the other to agree to an "open relationship" just to get carte blanche to fuck around. There's probably a ton of that. "Volunteering information" is probably going to lead to either oversharing or a tl;dr or both, so maybe I should just stick to answering any questions anyone cares to ask? Here or by PM depending on preference ...

As to the cheating thing, to me that has less to do with how you classify specific acts as much as how your partner trusts you to behave. If your partner expects to be the only object of your sexual attention, watching porn is cheating. If they're ok with sexual acts with other people so long as they don't cross some arbitrary line, staying within those boundaries isn't cheating. Basically any violation of the assumed terms of your relationship is cheating, and if you're not sure what your partner assumes you should talk about it. That'd be my personal definition. If kissing is cheating to you, then for whatever relationship you are in, that is what is true.

- - - Updated - - -

Copy-paste from wikipedia to make a distinction for me:

Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity at informal gatherings of friends to planned regular social meetings to "hooking up" with like-minded people at a swingers' club. It can also involve Internet-based swinger social networking services online.

Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is distinct from swinging (which emphasizes sex with others as merely recreational) and may or may not include polysexuality (attraction towards multiple genders and/or sexes).

Polyamory, often abbreviated as poly, is often described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy." The word is sometimes used in a broader sense to refer to sexual or romantic relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies; an emphasis on ethics, honesty, and transparency all around is widely regarded as the crucial defining characteristic.

[cidbahamut]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Got a new job.

Sort of. They finally managed to successfully bid me on a government contract. The funniest part of this whole thing is that this is the one interview where I've gone "ah fuck it, I'll just be completely honest", so I wasn't really expecting to land this position. It's not entirely clear what I'll be doing yet, but from what I can gather I'll basically be a digital detective. This is gonna be weird.

[Mezlo]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Got a new job.

Sort of. They finally managed to successfully bid me on a government contract. The funniest part of this whole thing is that this is the one interview where I've gone "ah fuck it, I'll just be completely honest", so I wasn't really expecting to land this position. It's not entirely clear what I'll be doing yet, but from what I can gather I'll basically be a digital detective. This is gonna be weird.

[cidbahamut]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Yes.

Exactly.

[Ketaru]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Official bored not-at-work chat...

I'm bored. I'd go out for a walk and grab a pizza or something. But I can't because I'm "sick", if you catch my drift...