Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

[Firewind]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

[Melody]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Lmao. That is great. Did you take that?

[Firewind]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

It's been going around all week. I DO have a friend who uses the lines of the London Underground those signs were put up on and he can confirm that they are real.

[Melody]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Well that sounds like a lot of fun, flash-mobs of young girls.

[Etra]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Well that sounds like a lot of fun, flash-mobs of young girls.

[cidbahamut]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Today I heard a co-worker discuss the mathematics of hippies.

I can't tell if this new office is awesome or just plain weird.

[Etra]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

It's time for seemingly random question time! Brought to you by Etra, the easy to digest fag.

What are your thoughts on polyamourus relationships? Specifically a triad to keep it simple. Straight, gay, bi, whatever.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

I've got nothing against it, as a simple answer. Personally, though, while I'm not opposed to it, I just can't share someone that I love.

[cidbahamut]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

I think most people aren't wired that way, so it would be ridiculously difficult to pull it off. First you have to find three people who are all wired that way, then they all have to love each other and then it has to be equal on all sides. I don't think it's impossible for that to happen, but I do think it's highly unlikely that all those circumstances would ever align to allow for a successful relationship of that nature.

[Firewind]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Jealousy is part of Human Nature. Not much else that can be said really.

[Nandito]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Only in fanfics.

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

I think most people aren't wired that way, so it would be ridiculously difficult to pull it off. First you have to find three people who are all wired that way, then they all have to love each other and then it has to be equal on all sides. I don't think it's impossible for that to happen, but I do think it's highly unlikely that all those circumstances would ever align to allow for a successful relationship of that nature.

I would agree if by wiring you mean personal attitudes about intimacy and exclusivity, which are more cultural than anything. In other countries types of polygamy are socially normal and finding someone wired right is a non-issue. Here in the States, not so much. The three stable members of my relationship all read copious amounts of Robert Heinlein when we were teenagers, so that gave us a perspective and open-mindedness toward alternative relationship structures that probably isn't shared by many people. (Heinlein explored the topic occasionally in his fiction, notably in Stranger in a Strange Land.) Depending on how you go about it, trying to change someone's beliefs on those subjects is a fraught path, but they're not as set in stone as calling them "wiring" suggests.

As to equality, I think that's a red herring. It sounds good in concept, but each relationship is different and trying to compare them on a scale in some way is in my opinion unhelpful if not impossible anyway. It may be that you have a partner who is better at comforting you when you're hurt and making you feel secure, and another who can connect with you over subjects you're passionate about who validates what you feel is special about you. Both of those things are invaluable and incomparable.

The important thing is that each person feels loved, valued, and secure in their relationships, and feels their needs are being met. Issues of equality and jealousy only become a problem when some part of that stops being true. Usually (always in my experience) you can work out these problems through communication, but talking about such intensely personal things means allowing yourself to be incredibly vulnerable, which is probably what makes poly so hard. You have to be willing to lay your heart bare before everyone, and each person must be worthy of that trust. For some people that's already hard enough when only one other person is involved.

As to being unlikely, yeah. Incredibly unlikely. The more I think about how my own family came together, the more I see it was really a perfect storm of circumstance in each of our lives that allowed it to happen at all, and even then it was difficult reaching this point. And growing the group has proved nigh impossible. I heard someone say of bisexuality once that rather than having twice as many people to choose from, you tend to get rejected twice as often for being just a little bit too kinky. Poly is much the same. Most people are far too weirded out by the idea, which just compounds the problem of romance being fucking hard in the first place. It's possible that there are poly communities on the internet that make it easier to find receptive prospects, but I couldn't really tell you because I'm not actively looking. Suffice it to say that in my experience, finding someone you share a mutual deep connection with, who is receptive to romance and not separated from you by barriers of age, distance, prior attachment, or some other damn thing is hard enough before you even bring poly into it.

[Melody]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Taskmage, why are you so damn smart?

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

/blush

However much I am actually smart, I got that way by confronting how stupid I am.

[Firewind]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

It's why I like discussing and debating things with people like Taskmage or Armando. Regardless of what happens, I always end up learning something.