Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

[Murphie]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

The problem with guys is that I am one, and thus know about their bullshit. But I still fall for it.

[DakAttack]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Well, if you don't play you can't win.

[Murphie]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

I suppose that's true.

[Raydeus]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Of course, just because you play it doesn't mean in any way, shape or form you had any chance whatsoever of winning to begin with.

[Armando]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Of course, just because you play it doesn't mean in any way, shape or form you had any chance whatsoever of winning to begin with.

Probabilities state that if you try enough times, eventually you'll succeed. It's the only reason online dating sites appear to work.

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Probabilities state that if you try enough times, eventually you'll succeed. It's the only reason online dating sites appear to work.

Probability of success approaches 100% asymptotically. It's possible you roll a d20 a thousand times and crit fail every one.

[Murphie]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Ok nerds. Meanwhile my feelings are hurt.

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

As a socially neurotic person, one thing I appreciate about eating at Waffle House is that not a single person working or dining there has any right to judge me. At least, if anyone did judge me for my long hair, toe shoes, or nerdy t-shirt, I would not feel compelled to give a single fuck.

Mrs. Taskmage says if you'd like to give straight a spin, she volunteers. Barring that she cuddles good. Last I heard that's a $60/hr service. I think you'd be eligible for a complementary package. That's value.

[Murphie]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Plus, they are giving you delicious waffles and hash browns. Scattered, smothered and covered, thanks.

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

Plus, they are giving you delicious waffles and hash browns. Scattered, smothered and covered, thanks.

Triple order all the way tonight. Worth every fatty calorie.

[DakAttack]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

I can beat up anybody and everybody I work with. While it's a useless ability to have, it's a nice feeling. And if anybody else wants to judge me, let them roll the dice.

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

SCP-261 - Pan-dimensional Vending - The SCP Foundation

Spent the better part of yesterday evening reading about all the bizarre things that came out of this machine.

A sampling:

Log of items vended during Testing Phase 8:
800 yen entered for each item, items being dispensed every 2 minutes. SCP-261 is attached to power.

“Coke Zero” – A can of diet Coke, packaging in English.

“Cheetos” – A small bag of Cheetos snack food, packaging in English.

“Black Black” – A single pack of caffeinated chewing gum, packaging in Japanese.

“Yan Yan” – A single Yan Yan cone, with peach dipping frosting, packaging in Japanese. The Meiji Seika Company does not produce this flavor.

“Pepsi: Dragon Twist” – A can of Pepsi cola, with a trace of fruit flavor, packaging in English. Flavor identified as Dragon Fruit. PepsiCo does not produce this product.

“Darkside Cola” – A “can” with clear plastic sides, packaging in Japanese. Liquid inside is clear. When opened, liquid appears to react to the air, and changes to dark black over a period of several seconds. The black coloration “looks like billowing smoke”, and cannot be reversed. Liquid’s taste described as “cola, with something spicy in it.”

“The Little Bakery: 7 Grain” – A small tube the size of a candy bar with a green button, made of aluminum, packaging in English. When the top is twisted off, a mass of “dough” is extruded. “Dough” contains several enzymes and bacteria that have not yet been identified. On contact with air, these cause the dough to rise and “bake”, killing the microbes in the process. Produces a small, round loaf of bread weighing 250 grams. Taste described as good, but chewy.

“Lemon Clams” – Thick plastic baggie with a plastic tube on the side, containing water and twelve clams, packaging in Dutch. Following on-package instructions, the plastic tube was cracked like a “glow stick”. Liquid in the bag flashed to steam, venting from a hole that popped open in the top of the bag, slightly burning one researcher. Steaming finished after thirty-eight seconds, after which clams were found to be fully cooked and infused with a mild lemon flavor. On investigation, clams match no recorded species.

“<Unknown>” – Small mesh bag filled with small, multi-colored pyramids, packaging in an unknown language. Pyramids found to be very hard and unpleasant tasting, compared to chalk in taste and consistency. When placed in hot water, pyramids open and produce “strings” that quickly dissolve, coloring the water the same shade as the pyramid. Water had no additional taste, but testing revealed a sharp increase in mineral, carbohydrate, and protein content, with several minerals unidentified at the present time. This content was found to be consistent with the recommended daily intake of nutrients for adult humans. Researcher ingesting the water reported stomach cramps two hours later, but no other effects.

“<Unknown>” – Aluminum box with a small glass window on the side, and a large round button on the top, packaging in an unknown language. Box is seamless, and appears to be filled with small, round animals covered in fur, each with three small paws and a single large eye. Pressing the button causes the inside of the box to rapidly become super-heated, cooking the small animals alive. Muffled noises and scratching were heard for several seconds during the cooking process. After one minute, thirty seconds, the front panel opens and gives access to the now-cooked animals. Professor Kain volunteered to eat the animals, with no other researchers willing to do so. Taste described as crunchy and very spicy, with a small hint of beef.

“<Unknown>” – Tall, thin aluminum can, packaging in an unknown language. Opening the can caused a chemical reaction with the liquid inside the can. Liquid was apparently not intended for an oxygenated atmosphere, and detonated violently, causing several injuries and killing two researchers. Testing discontinued, and area cleared. Testing area observed to smell like citrus for several days.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

heh

[Taskmage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

My Little Pony, The Big Bang Theory, and QI need to hurry up and start new seasons already.

[Yellow Mage]

Re: Official Bored at Work / Off-Topic Chat Thread II

My Little Pony, The Big Bang Theory, and QI need to hurry up and start new seasons already.

Careful, you'll get tarred and feathered on the internet for admitting to watching BBT!

And also they'll ruin it by pointing out to you how so very freaking frequently that it abuses canned laughter. Once you notice it, you can't un-notice it.