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In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

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  • In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

    ....the man who's had sex with 1000 cars!!

    Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning to auto-erotic - New York Daily News

    "Edward Smith never takes his girlfriend to expensive restaurants, or showers her with chocolates, flowers, or sexy lingerie - instead, a trip to the gas station and a nice bath are enough to keep her purring.

    She also isn't bothered by his promiscuity. He's bedded, by his own account, 999 others.

    Smith has taken man's romance with the automobile to a whole new level and he claims his attachments to his metal, leather-upholstered companions are far from platonic.

    The 57-year-old Washington state native first had sex with a car at age 15 and says he has never been sexually attracted to people, female or male. And he feels no need to change.

    "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone. Cars are just my preference," he told British newspaper the Telegraph.

    No one may ever think of the 'Lovebug' in the same way again,… (DAILY NEWS STAFF)

    His current flame is a Volkswagen Beetle that's he's named Vanilla and considering a typical woman's reaction to Smith's spreading himself around, she's very low maintenance (not counting trips to the mechanic or pricey imported auto parts).

    And there have been many others. A 1973 Opal GT named Cinnamon, a 1993 Ford Ranger Splash he called Ginger and Victoria, a 1969 Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Smith explains, "I appreciate beauty and I go a little beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," Smith said.

    People who feel sexually attracted to cars or other machines have been dubbed "mechaniphiliacs" and are the subject of a new documentary film made for British television.

    According to the Telegraph, the Internet has helped more than 500 extreme car enthusiasts like Smith find each other.

    Smith says his fetish took root when he was a teenager.

    "When I was 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it."

    He continued, "There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until nighttime, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."

    Smith also believes his love isn't completely one-sided. Despite their apparent lack of feelings, he thinks there's something in it for the objects of his affection.

    "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving."

    Despite his passion for his four-wheeled friends, Smith has occasionally strayed. His most intense sexual experience ever, he says, was with a helicopter.
    "


    Originally posted by Feba
    But I mean I do not mind a good looking man so long as I do not have to view his penis.
    Originally posted by Taskmage
    God I hate my periods. You think passing a clot through a vagina is bad? Try it with a penis.
    Originally posted by DakAttack
    ...I'm shitting dicks out of my eyeballs in excitement for the next bestgreating game of all time ever.

  • #2
    Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

    .....................

    .
    ............................
    ........
    .......
    ....................what!?
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Kain (FFIV): I am aware of my actions, but can do nothing about them.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

      How do you ... nevermind I don't even want to know.
      lagolakshmi on Guildwork :: Lago Aletheia on Lodestone

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

        TGM, tomorrow I am going to go out, find something awesome, and mail it to you as a present for being so much fucking awesome.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

          This guy had sex with a helicopter?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

            Originally posted by Feba View Post
            TGM, tomorrow I am going to go out, find something awesome, and mail it to you as a present for being so much fucking awesome.


            ---------- Post added at 11:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:52 PM ----------

            Originally posted by DakAttack View Post
            This guy had sex with a helicopter?
            I KNOW!!
            Originally posted by Feba
            But I mean I do not mind a good looking man so long as I do not have to view his penis.
            Originally posted by Taskmage
            God I hate my periods. You think passing a clot through a vagina is bad? Try it with a penis.
            Originally posted by DakAttack
            ...I'm shitting dicks out of my eyeballs in excitement for the next bestgreating game of all time ever.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

              W-why...
              Originally posted by Yygdrasil
              Originally posted by Nandito
              Ponies.

              Duh.
              You make me want to hurt things.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                sigpic


                "BLAH BLAH BLAH TIDAL WAVE!!!"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                  Did you watch the video I posted? That is SOOOOO disturbing!! He doesn't know they are watching him make out with the reporters car..


                  . . .
                  Originally posted by Feba
                  But I mean I do not mind a good looking man so long as I do not have to view his penis.
                  Originally posted by Taskmage
                  God I hate my periods. You think passing a clot through a vagina is bad? Try it with a penis.
                  Originally posted by DakAttack
                  ...I'm shitting dicks out of my eyeballs in excitement for the next bestgreating game of all time ever.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                    This was on UK tv a few years back and I reacted pretty much the same as you then. I seem to recall him meeting up with other "enthusiasts" and them all "sharing" their cars. It gives new meaning to throwing your car keys into a hat at a party.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                      Is this going to be Aks in 72 years?? I bet this woman went without for OVER 6 months, Aks!! lol

                      Cops: Woman, 92, Shot Man's House When He Wouldn't Kiss Her

                      "Give granny a kiss -- or else!



                      Deputies in Marion County, Fla., say a 92-year-old woman opened fire on her neighbor's home on Monday after the 53-year-old resident refused to give her a kiss.

                      Investigators claim Helen B. Staudinger paid a visit to Dwight Bettner's Fort McCoy house -- then said she wouldn't leave unless Bettner kissed her, the Star-Banner reports.

                      Bettner declined, and authorities say the 5-foot, 100-pound nonagenarian returned to her house, retrieved a
                      semi-automatic handgun and fired four rounds into his residence.

                      Bettner -- who told officials he was hit with shards of glass during the shooting -- insists his relationship with Staudinger was neighborly but never romantic.

                      He admits he helped his elderly neighbor run an errand and once gave her a peck on the cheek "trying to be nice to her," but he said he has always rejected her advances.

                      Staudinger allegedly told authorities she visited Bettner's residence and refused to leave without a kiss, but she later told the paper she was angry at her neighbor because of his "lies" and because he had not been "paying his way" when they went out to eat.

                      "The more I thought about it, the madder I got," she reportedly said.

                      Staudinger has been charged with aggravated assault with a firearm and shooting into an occupied dwelling. A judge ordered her to keep her distance from Bettner.
                      "

                      ---------- Post added at 01:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:54 AM ----------

                      Originally posted by Grizzlebeard View Post
                      It gives new meaning to throwing your car keys into a hat at a party.
                      OMG do you remember key parties???
                      Originally posted by Feba
                      But I mean I do not mind a good looking man so long as I do not have to view his penis.
                      Originally posted by Taskmage
                      God I hate my periods. You think passing a clot through a vagina is bad? Try it with a penis.
                      Originally posted by DakAttack
                      ...I'm shitting dicks out of my eyeballs in excitement for the next bestgreating game of all time ever.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                        woh Granny has some rage issues ;p
                        -------------------------------------------------------------------------
                        Kain (FFIV): I am aware of my actions, but can do nothing about them.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                          Ouch, TGM. I no likey you anymore.


                          It reminded me of this though:


                          Even though this clip is missing the last scene, where some homeless guy tries to get all up in it and the car alarm goes off, alerting the owner that his mistress was about to be violated. Lol.
                          sigpic
                          ~Aksannyi~~Hades~~75WHM~75RDM~75BLM~75SMN~73WAR~67SCH~47BRD~
                          ~Mama Gamer~~Quitted July 2009/Bannt October 2009~~Excellence LS~
                          ~I has a blog~~http://aksannyi.livejournal.com/~
                          ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~




                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                            Does he ... um ... add the product of his lovin' to the fuel tank? What this world could use is some semen-powered cars, don'cha know?!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: In the spirit of the forums lately, I bring you....

                              There would never be a fuel shortage again.
                              lagolakshmi on Guildwork :: Lago Aletheia on Lodestone

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