Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

[Neverslip]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

Sorry to hear that Aks. I wish you the best of luck w/ whatever you decide in your personal life.

It is statistically very likely for divorced women to never want to marry again. Far more likey than divorced men... course many women divorce because of an abuse of some kind or another which influences that statistic heavily. Not saying men aren't abused by their partners... just far more likely to happen when you're a woman, unfortunately.

[Balfree]

Re: Which one/Why

real men dont marry other men

marriage is a hoax and a lie

love is a feeling!

[Neverslip]

Re: Which one/Why

real men dont marry other men

marriage is a hoax and a lie

love is a feeling!

I suggest using those on cardboard signs and picketting =D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(edit)~~~~~~~~~~~~

And DAMNIT!!! ... now I have the song More than a Feeling stuck in my head.

[Malacite]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

I've decided that I'm not going to get married again. At this point, though, I'm not sure I even want to bother with involving myself with other human beings anymore. All they do is let me down. I'm gonna get a fucking dog and live by myself forever.

And yes, this just came off the message that someone has arbitrarily decided to stop being my friend, which is not really relevant to the thread, just my previous paragraph. I fucking give up. Seriously.

I know just how you feel.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

I love that kitten. I don't discriminate, I'd take a kitty kat. Animals treat you so much better than humans and they don't take half your shit.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

Oh wow, I was gone for a few days and this thread blew up and apparently got split from the main topic. O.o

@TGM, I said what I said about women because all of these women I speak of are 100% capable of working but refuse to. No, they take the fucking easy handout. 75% of them do not have kids/kids have moved out. None of the men I know have kept their houses. A friend of mine is in the process of a divorce and his house is up for grabs right now - his house, the house that's been in his family for nearly a century, the house that he bought from his parents (but was practically given to him) - yes, this woman has no fucking claim to it. Their kids are over 18, so there's no reason for her to live there anymore. Even worse, is he got her to move out about six months ago and she's still fighting to move back in and push him out.

And the fucking kicker, she claims she can't support herself, she needs all this money blahblahblahblahblah, but find a job? Wut? I will have a house. And you know how? I'll fucking work for it. And last I heard, if she doesn't get the house, she wants him to basically buy her a different house.

Is something wrong with living in an apartment? Is it so terrible? I grew up in a house and lived there until I was 18, I moved back in a few times after that and moved out for good at 26 (yes lol I know, this was during the divorce though), and guess what? I live in an apartment, I hate a lot of things about it, but at least I have a goddamn sense of pride for working for what I have. I mean granted this woman does not want to split with her husband (my friend) because she's been manipulating him for twenty years and now that he's finally stepped back and realized it, she realizes she doesn't have a butt-monkey anymore. Part of it I'm sure was that he cared for her and didn't want to hurt her, but at some point you realize that's just not gonna cut it anymore, when you get shit on repeatedly and treated like a dog. I'm so glad he's getting out of that shit, granted, he is not perfect, but I think it's 100% fucked up that she thinks she deserves this house, this house that has been his family's for so many years and this house that she turned into a dump by smoking in it for 20 years and letting the dogs piss on the carpets. (And yes, my friend is spending a lot of money to fix it back up, he got the smoke smell out of it and he ripped up all the carpets, it's much better with her gone.)

Not only this, she spent tons of his money gambling at the damn casino. She spent money like she was a pop star. When my friend told me all the crap she bought that was totally useless (a lot of it that he tried to sell when I had the yard sale at his house) I damn near shit a brick. Please tell me how you can not work for 20 years, spend money on a ton of useless/frivolous crap, and still expect a hand out? She's been getting a handout for 20 years. Or at least 12, because let's say that's about the time when your kids are self-sufficient enough that it becomes possible to work. Yes, cooking and cleaning is work and it is a challenge, helping the kids with homework and driving them around and being a mother, I realize that, but even with all that you can take on a part-time job. My mother did it, countless other moms do it. And with all this, struggling for them to make ends meet over the years while she's spending money like bills are just for fun. Not to say that my friend is not partially to blame for enabling her, but goddamn. We do crazy things when we care about/love someone. I don't know if he loves her, I never did ask, but I'm assuming he did at one point.

This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. Neither of them were unfaithful, and surely I do not have the full story at all, but I just don't understand how this woman thinks that she can loaf around all the time and get a fat paycheck. Once your kids are past a certain age, there's no reason you can't work, even part-time.

And yes, this is a typical experience from what I've seen in divorces. I do not fucking understand it. I get that you get comfortable living somewhere for a long time, but you know what? Split off, get a fresh start, work for yourself (this is of course referring to people who are able) and you'll start to feel like you didn't need that man to hold you up. I promise you it feels pretty good.

Yep there are bad eggs. But in between the bad eggs there are good women that stayed home because their husband wanted them too and took care of the house and kids. Then the divorce comes along and people start moaning about why she should get this or that or how much child support she's going to receive. When I worked with CATC, I also had to deal with the family as a whole and not just the teen. There are SOOOO many struggling mothers out there because they get there basic 23% for 2 kids and dad works at McD's and lives with his buddy/family just do she won't get too much money out of him. Or the dads that just don't work at all or pull SSI and the mother is left trying to pull it all together.

And in the end when we are all done bitching about women/men that cheat, who gets what in a divorce, why someone needs to pay alimony, etc.....the kids are the ones that suffer dearly. We are too busy bitching about one another or trying to figure out how to screw each other over that we end up fucking up the lives of the most innocent. We need to stand up and be the bigger person because in the end, stop the arguing, the finger pointing, and just come to an agreement and keep things civil before and after the divorce. When the child is an adult, they'll be able to recognize which one did the right thing and which one was the douchebag.

The system is so beyond broken right now. I'd rather just not get married and live with my girl friend obligation free. If the only thing keeping me with her is a legal obligation or the fear of legal repurcussions, than that relationship was never meant to be in the first place. If I do something for her, it's because I want to, not because I'm obligated to.

Bitches be trippin'.

Don't think you are safe. If you live with your g/f for any great length of time (10 years+), she can still take you to court and sue your ass for assets. Even living together isn't safe anymore in our litigious world.

[Malacite]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

Fucking lawyers man, the fucking lawyers & their legal jargon.


Semi-related:

[Freelancer]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

Yikes, you kids got a complicated system.

Here after divorce the husband pays the wife a number of fees for different reasons(food/housing/whatever) buts lets just call them alimony for around 3-6 months and it depends on her and the husband's financial state, pays child support until the kids are older if they're not living with him, and anything agreed upon in a pre-nub.

If she gets married/kids grew up/can support herself after the period court decides on, then hes not responsible to pay her anything other than child support or unless told otherwise by the justice system. (doesn't include marriage, once she remarries the new guy takes responsibility)

She doesn't get half, or anything that extreme.

Note that I don't claim that this is a superior/inferior system, just thought I'd share how things happen here.

[Feba]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

Don't think you are safe. If you live with your g/f for any great length of time (10 years+), she can still take you to court and sue your ass for assets.

Common law marriage isn't very well understood. It only happens if you hold each other as spouses. If you act like she's your wife, then yeah. But just living with someone is almost never good enough. Even then, it's not in effect in most states iirc.

Unless you're referring to some other, very weird and probably even more localized law.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

And in the end when we are all done bitching about women/men that cheat, who gets what in a divorce, why someone needs to pay alimony, etc.....the kids are the ones that suffer dearly. We are too busy bitching about one another or trying to figure out how to screw each other over that we end up fucking up the lives of the most innocent. We need to stand up and be the bigger person because in the end, stop the arguing, the finger pointing, and just come to an agreement and keep things civil before and after the divorce. When the child is an adult, they'll be able to recognize which one did the right thing and which one was the douchebag.

I have had to deal with the fallout for years past when it should have ended, it should have ended when I was 18, but its gone on for 15 years more, at least in my mother's head. so yeah, this has really been going on for about 27 years.

My father has no part in the argument and hasn't for about 18 years. My mother continues to believe that after 27 years there was a conspiracy behind it all and my father somehow ruined her life, yet she's alienated just about everyone in her life except me, but she's come dangerously close.

For some reason she keeps me on a pedestal and the only reason I put up with it at all is I fear what she'd do to herself if I turned my back on her. I should turn my back on her, she has don't nothing but try to "win" me and I am in my adult life now. There is no "winning" your children back at that point.

Looking back at all the time I spent with her on visitation as a kid, all she ever did was try to win me and she did it by feeding my vices, really. Namely video games. I thought she was just doing what moms do, spoil the kids, spend time with them but looking back I guess it was just buying my loyalty and trying to turn me against my father. In reality, I was just given a filter for her bullshit when she started yelling at her boyfriend and my eventual stepfather.

Can I just say having two father figures - one that internalizes all stress the American way and the other that internalizes it the 2nd generation Japanese-Amercan way - leaves a son that just buries his stress in the most unhealthy ways imaginable? I don't begrude my step=father in the slightest, because unlike my dad he could actually go the distance on basketball and playing catch. Instead of doing sports with my, my dad would force me into sports for the sake of trying to fix me socially.

I feel sorry for him, though. My mom has ruined his life. He could have gone back to the army, made something better of himself instead of being dragged down by her. He was a great, gifted artist, too. He could have made it in anything had he not met her. Now he's too old to get out.

So yeah, my mom is basically poison to everyone, I figured that much out.

The only way I know how to counter her and prevent her from going into one of her rants is to watch some new movies and have those to talk about, because if I don't get her on some Hollywood bullshit, she will start dwelling on the past. If I'm the one that she sees giving her a ray of light, I will do my best to entertain her nonsense, but I don't want to hear the conspiracy theories about my father again.

The only thing I wish from the both of the is to come clean. They just need to admit they got married for the wrong reasons. Namely, they got married because they knew I was coming.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

Namely, they got married because they knew I was coming.

This right here is essentially why I got married. Well obviously not because I was expecting BBQ but you know what I mean. I got married because I was pregnant, we attempted to live together for just under a year, and that shit went to hell fast.

[Feba]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

Well obviously not because I was expecting BBQ

Nobody expects Omgwtfbbqkitten.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

BBQ = Spanish Inquisition?

[Armando]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

BBQ = Spanish?

[Aksannyi]

Re: Divorce and cheating douchbags/whores

I win!