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Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

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  • Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

    Hello, fellow travelers on the road of life! It has struck me recently that though PiNG's Dreams in Vana'diel establishment is quite extraordinary in its ability to provide a friendly atmosphere and useful information relating to electronic entertainment, it is lacking just as much in the opposing direction in helpful advice on improving daily life.

    Toward the end of rectifying this situation, I humbly bring you Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life, or Fetribedal for short. In this thread, we hope to work together to share the aforementioned tricks with each other and in doing so improve all of our Daily Life-s. But lest you, our most assurdedly observant and comical participant, cast this as a thread about the communal use of Prostitutes!, allow me to clarify what these tricks are.

    A Trick for the Bettererment of Daily Life can be defined as any act which makes someone's practical and daily life speedier, more painless, cheaper, and so on, et cetera, et cetera. For example, a concise way to pack more clothing into one's luggage, or a way to ensure that one's Pop-ed Tarts are prepared for consumption within a shorter time frame.

    I will start the thread off with some examples I hope you will find most useful, and which should if nothing else illustrate the sort of content this thread is intended to contain.

    Removing a Tee-ed Shirt with Greater Haste
    Credit for this trick must be given to an anonymous poster on the "Random" forum of one 4chan.org. While usually a den of filth and depravity, apparently some people post practical pointers for the paedophiles and perverts which presently pervade that place.

    Most of us are accustomed to removing our shirts by pulling it over our heads with both arms, or something similar. While this method works fine for the vulgate, those of us with busy and fulfilling lives should be aware of a method which is far quicker, and far more elegant.
    1. Raise your Left Arm (Right Arm for those of the Devil-Minded Left-Handed Persuasion)
    2. Using your Right Hand, Grab your Left Sleeve (Reverse if you are under Satan's Grip)
    3. While quickly Lowering your Left Arm, Raise your Right over your head in an Arc (Even a moronic and syphilitic servant of the Dark Lord himself need not another reminder to reverse the directions)
    4. Your Tee'd Shirt should now be mostly or entirely removed from your body.


    This method has increased my speed in disrobing sevenfold, and can be easily understood after only a couple of attempts. Within five, you will likely have mastered this technique. Please enjoy removing your Tee'd shirts in what clearly must be the manner that the Good Lord intended, even for the wretched who find their grips most sinister.

    Storing your Join-ed Bottles outside of your Carriage of Intended Purchases
    Many of us have, while browsing the Grocer or "Super Market", purchased bottles which are joined at the neck by plastic ringlets. But did you know that, instead of storing these bottles within your Carriage, you can instead rest them on the edges? Simply separate the bottles, equally distributing them, and place them on the thin metal edge of the cart. Through use of this method, you open more space in your cart for the storage of other items, as well as place the Join-ed Bottles in a location where they can be more easily removed for sale.

    I hope you can find these tricks useful in your own life, and that you have many valuable ones to share with us all. Because remember: If you don't use Fetribedal, you may as well ignore all of the scientific progress mankind has made to improve our quality of life.

  • #2
    Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

    Respond to emails immediately. If you put off responding to an email you are likely having to open the email again, reading it again, thinking about it again, and then responding. If you respond the first time you read the email you will save time.
    "All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness." - Mark Kennedy

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    • #3
      Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

      Supercalifragilisticexpialidoch----hahahahaha, I'm gonna use my extra time to play Legos! Yay!
      99 BST, PUP, WAR, MNK, THF, WHM, BLM, SMN, RNG, BLU, RUN, PLD

      -Ukon (85) 27/75 claws
      -Farsha (90) Completed!!
      -Verth (90) Completed!!
      -Guttler (95) Completed!
      -Gandiva (80) 24/50 wings
      -Ochain 27/50, 50/75, 8/75
      -Aegis just started

      ***Thank you xxFunWithJugsxx for all the help/support***

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      • #4
        Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

        Oh god, Febar is working for the Aperture Science Enrichment Center now. orz









        [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDj1fYlwR00"]YouTube- Portal is Free (Well, it was - now it's just a good deal).[/nomedia]
        sigpic
        "In this world, the one who has the most fun is the winner!" C.B.
        Prishe's Knight 2004-Forever.

        その目だれの目。

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        • #5
          Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

          I had my shirt on inside-out today (one of those mornings). Just want to note that Feba's trick for expediently removing a T-shirt can also be used to expediently invert it, if need be.

          Thanks, Feba!
          Originally posted by Armando
          No one at Square Enix has heard of Occam's Razor.
          Originally posted by Armando
          Nintendo always seems to have a legion of haters at the wings ready to jump in and prop up straw men about hardware and gimmicks and casuals.
          Originally posted by Taskmage
          GOD IS MIFFED AT AMERICA

          REPENT SINNERS OR AT LEAST GIVE A NONCOMMITTAL SHRUG

          GOD IS AMBIVALENT ABOUT FURRIES

          THE END IS COMING ONE OF THESE DAYS WHEN GOD GETS AROUND TO IT
          Originally posted by Taskmage
          However much I am actually smart, I got that way by confronting how stupid I am.
          Matthew 16:15

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          • #6
            Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

            Seriously.......SERIOUSLY??

            Originally posted by Feba
            But I mean I do not mind a good looking man so long as I do not have to view his penis.
            Originally posted by Taskmage
            God I hate my periods. You think passing a clot through a vagina is bad? Try it with a penis.
            Originally posted by DakAttack
            ...I'm shitting dicks out of my eyeballs in excitement for the next bestgreating game of all time ever.

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            • #7
              Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

              Originally posted by TheGrandMom View Post
              Seriously.......SERIOUSLY??
              {New Sig in the works}
              -----------------------
              "There will come a day when the world will realize that Superman can no longer create miracles. If my name was Superman, that day would be today." 4/29/2009 - Me

              Originally posted by Aksannyi
              "Hello! 100+3 Leathercrafting, your materials, 5k! Mention code LTH74 for a special discount!" - they'd get blisted by everyone they sent that to.
              Originally posted by Solymir
              What do you have against Ants? Is iVirus some new Apple product?

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              • #8
                Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

                Here's a simple one that I love to do:

                Lie to people about todays date:

                Example:

                In physics class we had german foreign exchange student. on tuesday we had some homework to turn in, and as he was writing his name/date, he asked me what day it was.
                I looked at my watch, saw it was the 15th, and straight told him it was the 16th. ...simple enough eh. no harm, he still got a fucking 98 on his homework, and I took a small delight in my little devilish lie.

                So the next day (the real 16th) comes around, and were in physics class, and one of our fellow students asks what the day is, and Robert (the german dude) is like, "It's the 17th"....
                Like 6 people all look up at him like his grandparents just burned some jews and with these snide comments are like "NO IT'S NOT! IT'S THE 16TH!"....ETC.

                I quietly grinned to myself, and then proceeded to bomb the quiz, and later fail physics all together. BUT... man I won't ever forget how powerful lies can be.

                This is the right thread for this right?

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                • #9
                  Re: Feba's thread of Tricks for the Bettererment of Daily Life

                  Shamelessly lifted from Viz, a UK adult comic.

                  These are more tips than tricks for the betterment of daily life but whatever.


                  Viz Top Tips
                  Last edited by Grizzlebeard; 07-20-2010, 11:10 AM.

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