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Kung Fu Monkeys

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  • Kung Fu Monkeys



    If there's one thing the world needs more of, it's monkeys that are skilled in the martial arts. And so we generously salute Lo Wung, a Chinese street performer who makes a living off of teaching his pet primates the finer points of Taekwondo.

    Even so, we're willing to bet that the 42-year-old man from the Hubei province of China is probably moaning whatever's Mandarin for "What was I thinking!?" after his troop of chop-socky simians ganged up and attacked him outside a busy mall in the town of Nshi.

    According to eyewitness reports, it all started when one of his monkeys punched him the eye. This was quickly followed up with a fish-hook pull of the nostril. And then everything went bananas*, with the rest of his pet monkeys joining in and laying the kind of beating on Lo Wung not seen since that crazy fight on a New York City subway.

    Eventually, Lo Wung managed to corral them all together with a piece of rope. But then he inexplicably forced them to kneel, tied their hands behind their backs, and publicly shamed them.

    We're thinking this last part wasn't the smartest move. If we know monkey martial artists, and we definitely do, Lo Wung had better be sleeping with one eye open for a long time to come.

    *sorry.
    Taekwondo Monkey Trainer Gets Comeuppance - Asylum.com

    Trained-up ninja monkeys 'turn on master'
    "I have a forebrain, my ability to abstract thoughts allow for all kinds of things" - Red Mage 8-Bit theater

  • #2
    Re: Kung Fu Monkeys

    Grandma's Boy... anyone? ... anyone?
    FFxiv ~ (PS3 Beta) 24THM, 16LNC, 16CNJ, 15MRD/GLD/ARC/PUG
    FFxi ~ (Inactive) 99DNC/THF/SAM/BLU

    Any opinions expressed are my own, and potentially unpopular with others. Should this be upsetting, m
    aybe, read it again, insert smiley faces, rainbows, and glitter as needed.

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    • #3
      Re: Kung Fu Monkeys

      LOL fuckin loved that movie! Hell yah, Ninjar Monkies FTW!
      Originally posted by Van Wilder
      Worrying is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do, but doesnt get you anywhere
      Originally posted by Taskmage
      No matter how far an ass travels he will never be a horse. Some people are just bad players and no amount of tools you give them will change that.
      Hexx of Quetzalcoatl - 78PLD, 90NIN, 90WAR, 90SAM, 90BLU,90THF, 90SCH,90COR
      I'M BACK BABY!

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      • #4
        Re: Kung Fu Monkeys

        In this day and age and NO ONE CAUGHT THIS ON VIDEO!!!??? FOR SHAME!!
        Originally posted by Feba
        But I mean I do not mind a good looking man so long as I do not have to view his penis.
        Originally posted by Taskmage
        God I hate my periods. You think passing a clot through a vagina is bad? Try it with a penis.
        Originally posted by DakAttack
        ...I'm shitting dicks out of my eyeballs in excitement for the next bestgreating game of all time ever.

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