The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Just as the topic implies, so here we go.

Interestingly enough, all of them come from work.

3. Not a specific phrase, but your name being called to direct your attention somewhere multiple times in a minute at work

Yeah, look I know we're busy at work and you need me to do stuff, but if you can't let me focus on the task at hand, you're going to need to clone me. Last Friday this happened at work, everyone from temps to management to forklift drivers all calling out my name. One of these instances included teaching a full-time Dell supervisor how to use the pallet build computers.

I'm a temp at Dell and I'm training supervisors and plant managers how to use these computers when the last minute crunch is on and they feel it within them to help out. I didn't even get trained for this shit, they just threw me at a few DOS prompts and their archaic, internally homebrewed systems. I managed to wing it on what I remember of DOS and clicking around, but now I have to train people who get paid more than I do. Leave me alone or pay me more to care about these things. How to you become overlord of the shipping department and not know this shit? Seriously.

2. "How to lift a box..."

Yes, I know how to lift a fucking box. I know to lift with my legs and not my back. At the end of the day, after lifting hundreds of boxes in this fashion, the repetition is still going to get you my back. Not to mention, I'm probably not going to squat all the way down from a sumo stance to pick up the box. They come to you in all kinds of ways. Some of those guys in the back and launch those speakers. All of them except the Bose speakers, really.

I almost got nailed by an HD monitor going from one side of the label department to the conveyor belt. Did they lift with the legs and not the back? Clearly, we handle things with care here.

1. "Hustle"

I've hated this word all my life to the point I don't really try to use it. You're implying I'm going slow, first off, which might not actually be the case except for the one second you stopped to look at me. If I'm tired - like let's say working thirteen days in a row kind of tired - you're not motivating me to move faster, you're motivating me to strangle you.

My pseudo-manager (he's in training, but acts like he's the real deal anyway) advised me to down energy drinks to help me "hustle." Not only is the energy from those drinks a false kind of energy, you crash hard when it wears off. So when its done, it will make things harder. And in my case, it kinda screws with my medication. Not a good thing. I do like the Green Tea flavor of Amp, but I'll stick to my vitamin waters, thanks.

Not like I get paid enough to hustle anyway. Very motivated to hustle knowing they've already foretold us about layoffs after tomorrow. Yes, let me bust ass for you right as you're going to push people out the door, that motivates me so much, especially after you told us these people helped you bring in a record quarter.

Yeah, let's not forget those two guys you stressed to the point of having strokes. Never mind the people who were traumatized by the fact one of those two people dropped dead in the parking lot. Second shift really liked walking in on that. Hustle.

I have fury.

[Skoal]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

Irregardless.

[Satori]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

I like those they are some good ones. Mine too are work related.

1:- Not a phrase as such but an aspect of nursing "Manual Handling"

For those not in the know manual handling is the nursing part of paper pushing folk trying to make our work 100% harder. IN theory manual handling is brilliant and designed to help us "manually handle" patients, While not injuring ourselves and further by not being on the sick as you have messed up your back.
The thing is in practice it's great an able bodied employee sits in a room with other employees and is shown the correct way to lift and mobilise a patient, Baring in mind said fellow employee is able bodied and only there like yourself as an extension to their breaktime lol.
Actually performing these techniques upon a real patient is actually very dangerous to the patients and ourselves. Which is why the staff refers to it as "Man-Handling"
It's not until you test these out that you realise that the people that work in occupational health and manual handling have Never done a single shift on a ward ever.

some examples are
A: transfer belts. A transfer belt is strapped around the waist of a patient and has handles/ loops around it. Now you cant help somebody up from a bed or chair by using force that pulls upon yourself or the patient, without the belt you are to put a hand on the waist and shoulder and rock gently until you have the momentum to "gently push them up" I think that itself is contradictory. with the belt you pull the loops till they are tense and apparently get up. Now I've seen a fall with a belt in use the poor care assistant was standing there holding said loop as the patient fell forward and smashed their face on the floor.
Nowhere was it taken into account that the patient is 20+ stone with arthritic knees and a teeny bit of dementia, So it's clear to see that the belt only works on able bodied employees slacking off in an office for a longer break.

B: Bananna Boards . These ingenious death traps shaped like the fruit and the same colour too are designed to mobilise somebody from one seated position to another. for example sitting on a bed to a chair. They work kind of bridging the gap where the patient shuffles along from point a to point b. A good idea in theory but once again deadly considering no force can be exerted upon patient or yourself in the event of slipping it's a case of standing there waving goodbye then apologising.

C: Turntables . Strange discs held together somehow that help patients spin round on the spot . erm yeah .... slippy tiled hospital floor + material discs + patient "mental, old etc .." + manual handling rules/interferance and it's just screaming epic failure.

finally

Manual handling is a dangerous practice trust policy in fact dictates that in the case of a patient falling you should watch them fall and then respond to the fall or if you can lower them to the floor safely "Without putting pressure on yourself or the patient"
If I was a patient I'd rather have a dislocated arm than smash my face in. It's things like these that make me rage. I trained for years to be a nurse and help people and all the red tape in the way is rediculous. I'd gladly pull my back to save somebody than endanger them with these things thay put in place. I trained to save lives not end them. And maybe with some sick pay I can get some time off instead of finishing a nightshift at 7am and being called in at 1pm because of shortages and not going home till 10pm again.

2: Being called Doctor

The first few times it's funny and kind of flattering but it does get annoying after a while. Especially when you consider a doctor or consultant's job yet we get alot less respect for it. Funnily enough lately there is less doctors actually calling themselves Dr. Instead they are calling themselves Mr. I hate being questioned why I never trained to be a dr also. I guess I suck at golf and prefer direct patient care.
just a not for you all too never let a doctor perform a procedure on you if it can be done by a nurse. The procedure is more than likely done by the nurse on a daily basis. "Especially cannulation" The state of some peoples hands after a dr has done it is shocking. I could of done better with a bow and arrow and blindfold.

3: I dont have a 3 yet

I'm sorry for the big rant was kinda on a roll.
God bless the NHS "National Health Service"
Or as we call it "The National Hurt Service"

[Firewind]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

3) Absolutely!"

Not the word itself but it's use as a response. The BBC newsreaders in the UK use this as a response to just about every question and I'm fairly sure that it's BBC policy to force all guests to reply to any question like this too. While it's merely annoying when they use it to answer simple yes or no questions it goes right through me when someone is asked a question that requires a complex answer and they just answer with some overused and extremely camp way are simply saying "Fuck off I don't want to answer that question and if you ask me that again I'll take that mic cord and wrap it around your neck until things start popping off"

What is getting more annoying is that it's spreading to other BBC shows where anyone gives some sort of interview. Seriously this bloody word is getting everywhere and it's getting to the point where you can't watch a sodding BBC programme for 15 minutes without hearing someone say "Oh absolutely" at least 25 times.


2) Anything that misuses the word "irony" or "ironic"

I will start by saying that I'm rarely someone who nitpicks about misusing words. If someone makes a mistake with the definition of a word I'll just find some way of politely correcting them and if there isn't one I'll just shrug and carry on. But there is one word when misused that will drive me to want to physically harm someone: Irony.

Let's start with the definition of "irony" here. Well it's probably easier to say what it's not:

1) It is not a lie.
2) It is not a joke. Irony is rarelya joke.
3) It is not sarcasm.
4) It is not wit.
5) It is not a coincidence.
6) It is not just anything unexpected.
7) It's not something you will ever see on Family Guy no matter what anyone says.

Irony can overlap with the above things but it is something hard to define. It is more easily defined as something different to what you would actually expect but it's easier to just give examples.

A Jewish actor playing as a Nazi, that is irony.

Fritz Haber being the man who invented hydrogen cyanide. It'll be easier if you look up his name on wiki or something.

FFI was named Final Fantasy because Square was nearly bankrupt and decided to make their final game a fantasy RPG, hence "Final Fantasy". FFXIV being announced makes Final Fantasy the longest running video game series ever. That is irony.

Just about any story where the main character is trying to prevent a prophecy only to find out that in trying to prevent it he was fulfilling the prophecy, that is irony.

Hope being the last thing to escape from Pandora's Box, that is irony.

Gauron from Full Metal Panic saying very seriously that Gates is a nutcase, that is irony

The scene in Con Air where the inmates are dancing to "Sweet Home Alabama" while on a place is ironic.

Sorry about getting off onto a bit of a rant there but the misuse of the term has seriously become one of my real life pet peeves.

1) Polish

Referring to games. Sorry but what the hell does it mean? If someone calls something a well polished game but the graphics are brown and gritty and grim and dark and GRIMDARK than how can it be a well polished game?

[Kailea]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

ooooo! ^.^
*cough*
Lets see......

1) Any form of leet speak, or when people use numbers instead of a word -.-

2) People being outright disrespectful

3) The creators of "anti virus best" for making my tech life hell -.-

[Feba]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

Sorry but what the hell does it mean?

It's akin to jewelery making. Well-polishing means that a lot of time and effort has been put into smoothing out the kinks, making it all around smooth and lovely. It has nothing to do with the visual or thematic content of a game, except referring to how well they were handled.

For example, a story that wraps everything up in a neat little bow could be well polished, even if it's about mole people and dirt.

[Aksannyi]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

1. Let me axe you something...

Yes, sorry, gogo racism, but this is usually a black people thing, and it bugs the absolute shit about of me. ASK. The 's' is before the 'k'. It has been that way since ... well a really long fucking time. ASK. You want me to take you seriously? Learn how to fucking talk. It's not hard.

2. "Let me help you with that."

NO. I don't like you. You're a person. Go away. Anything I want done right I can do by myself, I don't need your "help" and your mindless chatter.

3. Anything condescending, especially when it's something I already know.

Nothing I hate more than when someone is telling me something as though I'm in Kindergarten and can't figure it out myself. Bonus points if I already knew what they were telling me.

---------- Post added at 11:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:53 AM ----------

Is it obvious that I hate people? I bet I hate people more than Feba does. (If you don't really hate people, Feba, my apologies, but you give me the impression that you do.)

[Tickmeoff]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

Doesn't really fall into the category of saying things since you can't say the difference between these words, but it bugs the hell out of me when people confuse words like there, their, they're, your, you're, etc.

I don't mean kids on the internet either, that is (sadly) understandable. I am talking about District VPs and other people with similar positions sending out office-wide e-mails with mistakes like this. If that isn't bad enough, sometimes I get people typing "are" in place of "or". They don't sound alike, they don't look alike, their definitions aren't even close to similar. The mind boggles.

[Neverslip]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

"{Fishing} <t> {bee}{ready}"

... and we wonder why other countries don't wanna party with us..... yeah it's cute but how many Jp's have ben like: "WTF is this round-eye talking about?? We're in the desert... water and bees are not here. /sigh Think I'll go duo Tiamat"

"Do you mean that door??"

It is the ONLY "giant door" in the direction I pointed you to, you f'n moron. It's GIANT. It's THERE. It's THE ONLY ONE !!!! Mouth shut. Ears open, PLEASE!!! STFU and go p!ss.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

IDK... was it my smile? Did you bring me flowers? You love Nissan Sentras and had to chat about mine?? Nope ... just legalized extortion. Okay.

[Feba]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

... and we wonder why other countries don't wanna party with us...

iirc, Japanese players were the one who came up with the whole 'fishing' metaphor. In either case, it's certainly the "<bee>" thing that's a problem, and not fishing.

I bet I hate people more than Feba does.

I doubt it.

[Neverslip]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

Yes.. it's the {bee}. Still... .. . .

[Vevau]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

Damn, most of that list made my knuckles itch, probably not a good sign.

Still, since I'm in the mood to join in on this:

1 - People who do not even attempt to use language properly, just to generalise on a few of the above, there is lack of care or sloppiness in using the language and that I can tolerate when I am properly caffeinated and nobody has annoyed me (finding that 30s every morning is a challenge though) but people who don't even try to pick the correct "your" or "there" and seem to think punctuation is to be implemented like a game of darts. My least favourite example being one where a moron completely missed the entire piece of text he produced.

2 - Italian restaurants that have existed for that long their wine list merely has sticky labels updating the price of their wine and don't even stock a rose since it didn't exist three decades ago when they opened. Then they serve food that tastes like it was prepared in the Seventies and have the cheek to charge the same as a decent restaurant where it would have had some flavour.

3 - Italian waiters, see Italian restautants, but think the second worst service I have ever had for lack of communication and being possessed of a complete lack of care for the customer.

This is rather cathartic, may manage to find some more somewhere when I am less tired and less annoyed at restaurants.

PS doctors who use the title "Mr." rather than "Dr." in the UK are ones who have passed their surgical exams with the FRCS, its dates back to some inverted snobbery from 2 centuries back I think. Anyone who thinks consultants are arrogant is right, anyone who thinks there are a fair few who shouldn't be allowed anything sharper than a foam mallet never mind a scalpel is also right.

PPS there are also plenty of good doctors out there I have just had the misfortune of dealing with some real muppets.

[Queen Uma]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

1- The abuse of the English language. There are so many things I could say about this. People using "of" in place of "have" i.e "Should of", "could of" etc.
2- People who lie for the sake of it even though you witnessed thier misdeed. A prime example of this; In a supermarket car park, whilst sitting in my car some idiot parked right next to me and opened his door right into the side of my car. I confronted him and he outright denied doing it.
3- Txt spk. Yep, some people actually talk like they're writing a text message.

[Durahansolo]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

OMG!!! If I hear "I've talked it over with <semi-wannabe supervisory person dude> and <he/she> said it would be ok to impliment this process, is that ok with you?" one more time... It'll be "Curtains for you Rocky, Curtains!" If you really wanted my opinion you would've said "Hey how about we do this?", or "What are your thoughts on this?" Don't go talk it over with somebody that is semi supervisory and then ask me what I think about it. >_>

[Susurrus]

Re: The Top Three things you want to smack someone for saying

When I hear "come in my office" I usually think "oh dammit what did I do this time?"