Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

[BurningPanther]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

I don't understand this train of thought. Doing a good deed for someone entitles them to reimbursement for said deed? That is ridiculous. Giving a kidney (or returning a lost purse or helping someone carry something heavy) is not something you can demand payment for. Yes, it would be nice of the person to do something in return, but you shouldn't expect it.

So after saving her life, he's not even a little entitled to custody/visitation rights?

That's like saying "Oh wow, you just found my wallet for me! Let me thank you with a punch in the face" is okay.

One good turn deserves another.

Also, giving someone your kidney does not make you a good father. We have no idea what type of father he is, and honestly, the job of a doctor puts considerable strain on even the best family. The hours are long, and emergencies can pull them in to work at any time of any day. It is hard to live with when the doctor in question is a saint.

I think saving mommy's life ought to put him in the running for father of the bloody year.


It's true, we don't know what kind of father he's been. But conversely, we don't know what kind of mother she is, either. Given what we don't know about either of them, we safely assume for the moment that no parent is less deserving of custody than the other, which makes her denial of access to the children rather heinous.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but where in the article did it say she cheated on him?

I would be pissed too if that were me, but he IS being pretty unreasonable. Even if she says hes doing it just to get her to be more reasonable, how can he expect her to act that way if HE'S also being unreasonable?? Wierd people, i swear -.-

Well, he certainly isn't going to get her to change her mind by doing nothing.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

And I still do. But you sound like you're saying "it doesn't matter what she does, she's better than him."

If she wants to use the law system to cut him off from the best thing their relationship brought them (their kids), he can do obnoxious law tricks to make her stop. It doesn't matter if it'll succeed. She fucking brought this on herself -- on both of them.

(it might be a good time to change my sig as it doesn't help my stance appear neutral...)

First off, I never said she's better than him. I said that no matter what happened in the marriage (on either side), there is no call for trying to take back a donated organ. Think about the effects of such a proposition for a moment. She would go back on dialysis and possibly die. And trust me, dialysis is no walk in the park either. There are MANY complications from it and many are life threatening. Yes, her cheating on him was wrong and trying to keep the kids from his is wrong but does it justify extreme pain, suffering, and possible death!? And from a doctor that takes the hippocratic oath no less!? He's a jackass.

And lets not forget that the article is skewed towards him, and so we are discussing this particular side of it. If the article were about the woman getting an organ and running with it (which really wasn't the case since they both worked on the marriage for 4 years after the transplant), then we'd be skewering her right now too.

Althought getting an organ back, or the amount of money he's requesting back is completely impossible, I do not agree with the wife cutting him out of the children's lives like that. After him saving her life (although he pulled a dick move with the whole wanting his organ back deal) the least she could do, even after a divorce, is to let him see his kids.

And the courts will let him see his children as long as there is no evidence of abuse. How it works is like this. She had to file that he's abusive and HAS TO HAVE PROOF. They do not take family/friend/relatives testimony as proof either. It has to be hardcore, here are police reports/doctors reports type of evidence before they'll make a temporary ruling that he is not allowed to see the children until further rulings. If she has no hardcore evidence that there is abuse, she can still pursue it by saying she wants sole custody of the children. The judge will make a temporary ruling stating who has temporary custody and will set up visitation for the other parent. She can refuse to give him the children but he can get an emergency session with the judge and they can force her to let him see them or they can throw her in jail. Then a Guardian Ad Litem will be assigned to the case and over a period of a few months there will be meetings and home visits, etc and the GAL will make their decision in the end if there is abuse, which home is best suited for majority placement, etc. The court will take the GAL's reccomendations into consideration in its final judgement.

So you see, there is no way, short of picking them up and fleeing the country, that she can keep the kids from him unless he's proven to be unfit. So its just a big "oh pity me" being done by the doctor so that he looks like less of a jackass than he already does.

I don't understand this train of thought. Doing a good deed for someone entitles them to reimbursement for said deed? That is ridiculous. Giving a kidney (or returning a lost purse or helping someone carry something heavy) is not something you can demand payment for. Yes, it would be nice of the person to do something in return, but you shouldn't expect it.

Yes, its a sad state of affairs when the majority of people always want something in return. I went through this to a degree at Christmas with my sister. We had not spoken in several years because she wanted me to accept how she handled dealing with her divorce and her children and I did not approve. Instead of accepting that I had a different way of thinking about the situation, she accused me of not ever loving her and didn't want to see me again. She came around eventually and contacted me this fall and wanted to see me at Christmas. I bought her a beautiful charm bracelet with a sisters charm. She was very upset because she couldn't afford to give me anything in her current financial situation. (I had no idea things were bad for her.) She profusely apologized. I hugged her and told her that being here with her at this time was the most wonderful gift she could have given me.....and I meant it. I give gifts to make people smile (or laugh because I tend to give gag gifts a lot lol) and when they smile/laugh THAT is the greatest gift that I can recieve.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but where in the article did it say she cheated on him?

I would be pissed too if that were me, but he IS being pretty unreasonable. Even if she says hes doing it just to get her to be more reasonable, how can he expect her to act that way if HE'S also being unreasonable?? Wierd people, i swear -.-

I read several articles on this situation and in a couple they mentioned that after the surgery they tried to patch the marriage back up but her sickness had taken its toll and it wasn't going to work. She met someone shortly before filing for divorce.

People need to realize that it takes 2 to make a marriage. If she was so unhappy that she needed to turn to someone else for comfort, then the husband was also not holding up his end of the marriage contract. They both did try to make a go of the marriage again but it didn't work. While I do not agree with what she did, it does take two but often times people try to put all the blame on one person.

[hexx]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

You still didnt answer my question about where it said she cheated on him =3

True, but keep in mind "Inaction, is better than a stupid action" or at least IMO know what I mean? He coulda just let his lawyers do the handling of him getting visitation rights, which are pretty much guaranteed unless hes a child beater or something like that.

[Mhurron]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

So after saving her life, he's not even a little entitled to custody/visitation rights?

No more so then being the father entitles him.

So, no it has no real bearing on the matter. That you give someone an organ to keep them alive does not suddenly mean they are indebted to you for the rest of their life.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

You still didnt answer my question about where it said she cheated on him =3

True, but keep in mind "Inaction, is better than a stupid action" or at least IMO know what I mean? He coulda just let his lawyers do the handling of him getting visitation rights, which are pretty much guaranteed unless hes a child beater or something like that.

I did address BOTH of those issues:

I read several articles on this situation and in a couple they mentioned that after the surgery they tried to patch the marriage back up but her sickness had taken its toll and it wasn't going to work. She met someone shortly before filing for divorce.

And the courts will let him see his children as long as there is no evidence of abuse. How it works is like this. She had to file that he's abusive and HAS TO HAVE PROOF. They do not take family/friend/relatives testimony as proof either. It has to be hardcore, here are police reports/doctors reports type of evidence before they'll make a temporary ruling that he is not allowed to see the children until further rulings. If she has no hardcore evidence that there is abuse, she can still pursue it by saying she wants sole custody of the children. The judge will make a temporary ruling stating who has temporary custody and will set up visitation for the other parent. She can refuse to give him the children but he can get an emergency session with the judge and they can force her to let him see them or they can throw her in jail. Then a Guardian Ad Litem will be assigned to the case and over a period of a few months there will be meetings and home visits, etc and the GAL will make their decision in the end if there is abuse, which home is best suited for majority placement, etc. The court will take the GAL's reccomendations into consideration in its final judgement.

So you see, there is no way, short of picking them up and fleeing the country, that she can keep the kids from him unless he's proven to be unfit. So its just a big "oh pity me" being done by the doctor so that he looks like less of a jackass than he already does.

[Feba]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

annnnnnnnd yet another reason why living tissue donors should be allowed to sell their organs.

Even a fraction of a percent of the population selling their kidneys would knock out the waiting list. People who can afford one can be forced to pay extra; kinda like the OLPC. The extra would go into a fund to pay for those who cannot. People who wish to donate kidneys, but who do not wish to undergo surgery, or are medically unable to for whatever reason, could instead donate money. Donations to organ donation charities could actually go towards getting people organs; and not just covering costs and such. People who can afford organs and people who can't work both benefit from it very quickly. It also has advantages for the donor; yes, it would disproportionately attract the poor, but given that money is basically a loan that doesn't need to be repaid, it could be used to get an education, job, and so on.

Being able to put a monetary value on it would be another bonus. I mean, in this case it would still obviously be considered a gift, and ignored in court, but it could be useful for other things.

[Illuen]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

So after saving her life, he's not even a little entitled to custody/visitation rights?

That's like saying "Oh wow, you just found my wallet for me! Let me thank you with a punch in the face" is okay.

One good turn deserves another.

Deserves? Probably. Entitled to? Absolutely not. Things do not happen on the basis of whether or not people deserve them.

I think saving mommy's life ought to put him in the running for father of the bloody year.


It's true, we don't know what kind of father he's been. But conversely, we don't know what kind of mother she is, either. Given what we don't know about either of them, we safely assume for the moment that no parent is less deserving of custody than the other, which makes her denial of access to the children rather heinous.

You're making it sounds 100% altruistic that he gave the woman his kidney, and it just isn't. While he was in the relationship, he gained by having her around. It may not be a gain you're able to quantify easily, but it was easily a gain. Now that he has lost that gain, he is upset because he feel he didn't get his money's (or kidney, as the case may be) worth, and he is moaning about it.

Well, he certainly isn't going to get her to change her mind by doing nothing.

No, you're certainly right. If he wanted to change her mind, he'd treat the divorce and his (soon to be ex) wife with respect and dignity. That would do more to change her mind than any ridiculous lawsuit.

[Raydeus]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

Richard Batista from Long Island in New York, US, says he wants the organ back or £2.1m ($1.5m).

Hello. I'm Raydeus and I approve this message.






...what? <_<

[Van'derfel]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

£2.1m ($1.5m).

impossible
£1=$1.52

£2.1m= $3,201,131

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

Ya whoever was in charge of converting currency for that article really dropped the ball. Even in Euros it converst to approx. $2,872,000.

[Raydeus]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

Maybe that was the price after rebate.

[Clever Ninja]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

That price is obviously after what it'll cost to rip the kidney out of her, and buy a dialysis machine for her.

[Lmnop]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

TGM, I guess what it boils down to is:

If he's a jackass, then what would you call her?

Doing your best to screw over the person whom you owe your life to is... well I can't understand why your focus is on him after hearing that. Plus:

He says he is only suing Dawnell to get her to act reasonably in the divorce case, claiming she is restricting access to their children, aged eight, 11 and 14.

Not that I condone the act or think it's at all a good way to get it done. But she's asking for it. When I read this story, my thoughts weren't "Wow. Seriously taking back an organ." It was "Wow. Seriously screwing over in every possible way the person you owe everything to."

[Susurrus]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

TGM, I think you are misunderstanding something. He KNOWS he can't get the organ back. He's using it like an extreme metaphor.

Husband donates organ to wife.
Husband saves wife's life.
Wife cheats on husband.
Wife files for devorce.
Wife wants sole custody of kids.

If I was the husband I'd be pretty pissed off, too.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Wife: I want a divorce! Husband: Then I want my kidney back!

TGM, I guess what it boils down to is:

If he's a jackass, then what would you call her?

Doing your best to screw over the person whom you owe your life to is... well I can't understand why your focus is on him after hearing that. Plus:



Not that I condone the act or think it's at all a good way to get it done. But she's asking for it. When I read this story, my thoughts weren't "Wow. Seriously taking back an organ." It was "Wow. Seriously screwing over in every possible way the person you owe everything to."

Some points I've already made:

1) Marriage is a 2 way street. She wouldn't be out there looking if she was satisfied with her marriage. It's obvious that both of them were not working at their marriage and she sought what she needed elsewhere. He's no innocent.

2) The article is about taking back the kidney and thats what I'm addressing. It doesn't mean I condone that she had an affair or that she's trying to limit his access to his children. But we are talking about A DOCTOR violating his hippocratic oath by intentionally wanting to do harm to another. He can say that he knows its an unreasonable request but it sure doesn't sound like he'd turn it down if the court ruled in his favor! That goes against everything he is supposed to stand for. Since he is a doctor, it makes it especially abhorrent to me.

While I know that something like this will never go through, for obvious reasons, the courts even considering hearing a case such as this and a lawyer even filing a case such as this alarms me to no end. Organ Donation is in a shambles in its current state. It's hard enough to get people to donate their deceased loved ones organs and even harder to get live donors to be altruistic. Then you have garbage like this happen with the pretense of "teaching someone a lesson" and it creates damage in other ways. There will be people, because people ARE this gullible, that will believe someone could possibly get back a donated organ. This might keep them from donating themselves or they might spread this poison to others and those people might think twice about donating. This hesitation could have detrimental effects to those waiting for donations.

Being so ill that you need a transplant is no picnic. I will soon need 2 transplants and the road has been a long and hard one. Because of the lack of donors, you must be damn near death before they even put you on the list. Once you are on, you can be there for years, even with a common blood type, before you receive one. A lot can happen in a month when you are that ill......years.......well years is a very very scary concept. To have garbage like this out there damaging what people think they know about organ donations makes it even more scary to the people on the receiving end.

TGM, I think you are misunderstanding something. He KNOWS he can't get the organ back. He's using it like an extreme metaphor.

Husband donates organ to wife.
Husband saves wife's life.
Wife cheats on husband.
Wife files for devorce.
Wife wants sole custody of kids.

If I was the husband I'd be pretty pissed off, too.

No, it was probably more like:

Wife became very ill.
Illness strained marriage.
Husband couldn't handle the stress.
Marriage was in trouble.
Neither partner worked hard enough at the marriage.
Husband thought giving wife a kidney would ease the stress level and make things better....in other words a quick fix.
Wife accepted transplant because she was in fear for her life.
After transplant, there are still stresses from complications that always arise and from medications that still make you sick but are necessary to take.
Husband didn't get his quick fix and probably became depressed and failed to work at his marriage again.
Wife didn't get what she expected after the transplant because she was still limited and sick and didn't bother working at the marriage either.
Both partners gimped along in the marriage for 4 years because they felt obligated. The husband felt he needed to take care of his sick wife...he needed to fix things and wife felt obligated to stay because of what her husband had done for her.
Eventually the wife started to feel better and got out in the world more after being tied to dialysis and sickness for so long. She made friends and met someone that was not depressed, wanted to make her happy, and wanted to work at a relationship. This made her happy and she went for it.
Wife told husband she wanted out of the relationship.
Husband became enraged when he found out wife was leaving him.
Wife and husband probably had some long discussions/arguments and neither side would be reasonable.
Wife filed for a divorce and wanted sole custody of her children.
Husband felt vindictive and decided to file some bogus lawsuit thats going to do more harm than good.

I'm not misunderstanding a thing. I'm living it.