What are your views on teen pregnancy?

[Mandarain]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

There is a lot of people in the town I live in that have kids and have no idea what they're doing. There is this one girl whose baby chills out in her car all day. She is the happiest baby I have ever seen but thats no way to take care of a child.

We call them Main Street Mommies: teenage moms who push their kids around in strollers at all hours of the night and day. Most are high school drop outs.

[The Mauva Syndicate]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

What have you done Tipsy?

Yeah......

As the product of teenage parents I can tell you definitively that its no walk in the park. My mother was 19, but still a child. I was her tool to trap my father into marrying her and bringing her to the USA (where I was then the tool by which she justified divorcing him as soon as she got her green card). I was then the tool she used to justify all of her poor decisions and greed (welfare, food stamps, under the table jobs, whatever she could scam). I was the raison de etre for her many marriages (and subsequent divorces) To this day, I still don't know how I'm NOT an alcoholic child beater - since I grew up with one.

I see some of my co-workers and how they structure their entire lives around providing the best upbringing to their children they possibly can - and I realize that my mother, who was and still is a child, could never, in any way, have made the kinds of sacrifices for me that I see good parents making for their children. If it wasn't convenient for her, it didn't happen.

Children shouldn't have children - The parents are NOT the only ones who suffer.

[Mandarain]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

Yeah......

As the product of teenage parents I can tell you definitively that its no walk in the park. My mother was 19, but still a child. I was her tool to trap my father into marrying her and bringing her to the USA (where I was then the tool by which she justified divorcing him as soon as she got her green card). I was then the tool she used to justify all of her poor decisions and greed (welfare, food stamps, under the table jobs, whatever she could scam). I was the raison de etre for her many marriages (and subsequent divorces) To this day, I still don't know how I'm NOT an alcoholic child beater - since I grew up with one.

I see some of my co-workers and how they structure their entire lives around providing the best upbringing to their children they possibly can - and I realize that my mother, who was and still is a child, could never, in any way, have made the kinds of sacrifices for me that I see good parents making for their children. If it wasn't convenient for her, it didn't happen.

Children shouldn't have children - The parents are NOT the only ones who suffer.

I agree and at the same time I don't.
I'm 19 and all I ever wanted was children. I'm pregnant right now with a baby boy and I couldn't be happier. I've always mothered my friends and everyone around me and now I get to mother my own child.
I'm not having a child for the same reasons your mother was and I think I'll be a good mom.
However, I see a lot of people my age who shouldn't have children and do. Most of them had children before me.
People tell my fiance he's ruining his life by having a kid at 20. And maybe this wasn't what he thought his life would be like. But I've wanted to have a child for years. And yeah its going to be tough but its all i've ever really wanted out of life.

[Pyowaa]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

I agree and at the same time I don't.
I'm 19 and all I ever wanted was children. I'm pregnant right now with a baby boy and I couldn't be happier. I've always mothered my friends and everyone around me and now I get to mother my own child.
I'm not having a child for the same reasons your mother was and I think I'll be a good mom.
However, I see a lot of people my age who shouldn't have children and do. Most of them had children before me.
People tell my fiance he's ruining his life by having a kid at 20. And maybe this wasn't what he thought his life would be like. But I've wanted to have a child for years. And yeah its going to be tough but its all i've ever really wanted out of life.

My mom had her first child when she was 22 so I don't know why 19 or 20 would be so bad you are legal then, but I can understand when 12-17 year old girls get pregnant. It doesn't make sense to me...

[Ameroth]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

People tell my fiance he's ruining his life by having a kid at 20.

I'd probably agree. At age twenty, you've made a decision that will affect the rest of your life. But at the same time, if that's what you want, go for it. Kids are great. Especially when they grow up into teenagers and hate you.

[Mandarain]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

I'd probably agree. At age twenty, you've made a decision that will affect the rest of your life. But at the same time, if that's what you want, go for it. Kids are great. Especially when they grow up into teenagers and hate you.

Haha. Good point. My fiance's mother would love that. She thinks its funny that he is going to have to go through the same stuff she did.

[Ziero]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

Some young women need the hormones from BC pills to regulate their own. Not all BC pills indicate sexuality.

Well I meant as a strictly birth control solution for teenage girls. Much like many drugs, if one has a legitimate medical reason for taking them then it's for the best.

What if the mom is 19 and out of high school and engaged? And she also had a problem that only gave her a couple years to have children and all she ever wanted was to be a mom?

I believe that some people are ready to have kids when they're in their teens... But most teenage parents don't want or deserve children....

Then that's a very rare situation.

But I've wanted to have a child for years. And yeah its going to be tough but its all i've ever really wanted out of life.

I never understood why a teenage girl would want a child. And honestly still don't. No matter how old you are it's not going to be easy. But at least waiting a few years would allow people to settle into stable jobs and live in a comfortable environment. Teenage/early 20s are fairly volitile years in someone's life as on average many major changes occur all within quick succession. Having a child at that time in life only compounds the issue. I know I wouldn't have been ready to have a kid at 20 and I'm certainly mature for my age. But even now with just my finacial situation being taken into account I wouldn't want to bring a kid into this world. Those early years are the time when you should be focusing on getting your own life in order and becoming independant and stable, and while I won't say having a child is ruining ones life, it definately complicates it far more then people wish to realize. It's bringing in a totally uncontrollable level of difficulty into a life that's already in the midst of great instability.

Unless you're living in your own place, have well paying, steady, secure careers and don't really mind giving up whatever free time and money you may have, I don't think choosing to have a child at that age is a good idea.

[Mandarain]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

For most people I don't think having a child at a young age is a good idea. But the doctors only gave me a small amount of time in which to have a child. With each passing year the chance to have a child became less and less. So I had a choice and I made it. I've always wanted children and I knew I would regret it if I chose to wait and then couldn't have them.

I do have my own place and my fiance makes pretty good money. I know things will be hard but the way things are going in this world things are just going to get harder.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

Those early years are the time when you should be focusing on getting your own life in order and becoming independant and stable, and while I won't say having a child is ruining ones life, it definately complicates it far more then people wish to realize. It's bringing in a totally uncontrollable level of difficulty into a life that's already in the midst of great instability.

Unless you're living in your own place, have well paying, steady, secure careers and don't really mind giving up whatever free time and money you may have, I don't think choosing to have a child at that age is a good idea.

QFT.

[BurningPanther]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

Personally, I feel bad for anyone that has kids. evr.

This.

Age is irrelevant. Whenever I find out any woman is pregnant, I go "ohhh, sucks to be you." Even my little sister, who's a couple months along at this point.

If that is the case you would not be alive at the moment...

Well, if he wasn't born in the first place, it wouldn't matter to him one way or the other, would it?

Win/Win.

[Feba]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

Children shouldn't have children - The parents are NOT the only ones who suffer.

There are plenty of people in their 30s and 40s who can't handle a child, and have them anyway.

Pretty much all of the arguments against teens having kids applies to adults too.

You mother gave birth to you when she was 19. That did not make her an alcoholic. That did not cause her to beat you. She used you for her own gain. That is not because she became pregnant. People do not become pregnant and then start lying and cheating and scamming people. Lowlifes will be lowlifes whether they give birth 19 or 29. My father is the same way. Gave birth at 29 (or thereabouts), alcoholic, racist, sexist, druggie piece of shit. And to this day he'd still make an awful parent. My mother, on the other hand, could've given birth five years earlier and still lead a very good life, because of her values. Probably harder on her, yeah, but things would've been just as fine.

Especially when you're dealing with "wait until you're out of school and have a job", which is not going to be more than 7 or so years, that's not going to make someone a better person. They might be in a better position, financially speaking, but they're going to be the same horrible human.

[Ziero]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

For most people I don't think having a child at a young age is a good idea. But the doctors only gave me a small amount of time in which to have a child. With each passing year the chance to have a child became less and less. So I had a choice and I made it. I've always wanted children and I knew I would regret it if I chose to wait and then couldn't have them.

I do have my own place and my fiance makes pretty good money. I know things will be hard but the way things are going in this world things are just going to get harder.

Well like I said, your situation is an extreme exception to this type of discussion. With you, you couldn't wait and you are settled into a seemingly stable life. In this case there is nothing wrong about having a child, though it still will be hard for all three of you. But the average teenage pregnancy doesn't even come close to being in the same situation you are.

Pretty much all of the arguments against teens having kids applies to adults too.

Especially when you're dealing with "wait until you're out of school and have a job", which is not going to be more than 7 or so years, that's not going to make someone a better person. They might be in a better position, financially speaking, but they're going to be the same horrible human.

Except having more experiance in life outside of school and home, being out in the world supporting yourself does help mature many people. Though there are plenty of "adults" who are still asshats and shouldn't have kids, many of the "non-asshat" adults grew and learned through experiances gained after going through school and getting a job and living on their own means.

[Vyuru]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

I agree 100% with TGM and Ziero, enough said on my part

[Feba]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

Except having more experiance in life outside of school and home, being out in the world supporting yourself does help mature many people.

Sorry, but I'm going to have to call bullshit. This was the case at one time, I'm sure, but nowadays you just don't see it. People don't 'grow the fuck up' nowadays; they age. Honestly, how many thirty year olds do you see acting like little kids nowadays? How many people do you really see acting with the maturity they should at their age?

[Evion]

Re: What are your views on teen pregnancy?

Teenagers don't know if they should have children or not. That's why they're called minors and aren't held to the same decision making standards as adults.