Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

[TheGrandMom]

Ok...I had a "discussion" with my daughter today. I was talking to her about how she interacts with people....mainly the opposite sex. So I'm going to ask this of our male members. Imagine you have a friend that is female. We all know the stresses of having a friend of the opposite sex and how you walk that fine line so its not more than friendship. But just what is crossing the line? If you were talking with her and she started talking about her breasts to you, would that be crossing the line? What type of behavior raises that red flag to you?

[Feba]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

depends greatly on the context. Generally, I think most anything a girl could say about her breasts would be taken as a sign of being deep in the Friend Zone.


(sidenote: Friend Zone would make an awesome Sonic stage.)

[Omniblast]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

What breasts? I havn't noticed.

[Malevolent]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Its hard to place a line on something like that because, say for instance you think talking about breasts is the crossing the line between "something more" and "Just friends" but to that male/female its not it's just another whimsical discussion.

I mean take the same approach as you would when you're talking to a co-worker perhaps. I've been told that "If I wouldn't say it to a 1st grader. Don't say it at all." But friends are friends and sometimes closer than family and you should be able to talk about anything with family and you go thru crazy times, ups and downs. When my kids get older i just hope to give them a huge judgment talk. So use your best judgment.

Sorry there wasn't a lot of help in what i said its just there's so many perspectives involved its hard to sum it up in a few words if not sentences.

[Caspian]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Greatly depends on the individual relationship.
But Feba is probably right, unless it was something along the lines of "My breasts are so firm, what do you think?" and she gets me to feel them, then yeah, probably so deep into the friend zone that you've lost all sight of the fairway. Even if she did say the above, there really still is the chance that she considers you just another "girlfriend".

[Effedup]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Ok...I had a "discussion" with my daughter today. I was talking to her about how she interacts with people....mainly the opposite sex. So I'm going to ask this of our male members. Imagine you have a friend that is female. We all know the stresses of having a friend of the opposite sex and how you walk that fine line so its not more than friendship. But just what is crossing the line? If you were talking with her and she started talking about her breasts to you, would that be crossing the line? What type of behavior raises that red flag to you?

I have lots of female friends, and I've never had any types of "stress" involved in it. Some are ex-girlfriends, so obviously there's always going to be a little amount of tension there (depending on the ex lol), but for the most part it's a non-issue. Maybe I'm weird, but for me my friends are pretty much "sexless", not girls or guys but just friends. The equipment doesn't really affect the friendship at all, at least, it doesn't for me.

My mother and father divorced when I was very young, and I didn't see my father very often when I was younger. My mother didn't remarry until midway through my high school years, so for a long time she was a single mother...the reason I bring all this up is that being raised by a women probably had an effect on how I deal with the opposite sex on a platonic level. My mom was always very honest and open with me, so I was exposed to the "female perspective" at a young age. Certain topics of discussion that may make some men uncomfortable don't phase me much...

As far as "crossing the line" goes, I'd say it's really based on the person she's talking with. While some guys may not be too comfortable talking about breasts and keeping the conversation non-sexual, I never really had any issues with it, or any other topic for that matter. If someone seems uncomfortable with a topic of discussion, I'll try to change the subject, or at least steer to conversation in a way that's more comfortable for all involved...and that holds true for any topic, irregardless of the sex of the participants. In my opinion, it's more about being able to "read" people...

Just my two cents...

[Raydeus]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

I'm pretty much in the same place as Effedup, and I rarely have problems with tension (at least on my part) and stuff like that. So I also think it greatly depends on the context and the type of relationship you have with the girl.

Although for some reason I've always had a difficult time getting into the friend zone. Maybe it's because of how familiar I can act that puts me in the non-safe zone, but yeah I've had lots of female friends who just think of me as a dangerous (in the non friend material kinda way) guy or something.

<---- is completely innocent btw.


PS > Feba is right that would make for an awesome Sonic Stage, just make it PS3 onry please.

[Phanex]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Effedup is correct. If the situation happens to me or my friends, we'd all play along and laugh it up. We wouldn't try to take it to the next step, well maybe one of them would, but he'd do anything.

But not all guys are like that, some still take it when a girl says something to them involving anything sexual, even just talking about toliet paper, they'll think it's a sexual request on the girls' part. LOL it's just male behavior. But most of the newer generation, from what i've seen, are more restrainet and take it at face value and not try to "Think too much about it".

What does make it hard on everyone is that there are girls out there that will talk that way to get the guy "wanting" her.

Meh, it's a pain.

[Losrase]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Like every other poster said, "It depends how close they are as friends." I have female friends who are as close to me as my sister. They have said things that if we werent very close would be thought as a "something more."

For example, we were in Miller's Outpost clothing store. I was over looking a belts and she over in the female under garments area. She called me over and held up a pair of rainbow panties. She said, "If a guy saw me in these, do you think he would think I was weird?" and I said, "If a guys was at a point to have you in panties, the last thing on his mind is what color they are or if they match your bra."

I do know guys who do play the friend roll to get close and try to become a *beep* on her radar.

Like this movie.
Just Friends (2005) - Movie Info - Yahoo! Movies

[Feba]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

PS > Feba is right that would make for an awesome Sonic Stage, just make it Wii onry

Fixed. Also, is the next Sonic game even coming out on PS3?

[Callisto]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Ok...I had a "discussion" with my daughter today. I was talking to her about how she interacts with people....mainly the opposite sex. So I'm going to ask this of our male members. Imagine you have a friend that is female. We all know the stresses of having a friend of the opposite sex and how you walk that fine line so its not more than friendship. But just what is crossing the line? If you were talking with her and she started talking about her breasts to you, would that be crossing the line? What type of behavior raises that red flag to you?

While this is very dependant on age, mostly no. Someone my age who talks about their breasts to me, that's nothing, hell most conversation with my female friends are centered around their breasts, and not even always about 'boobies', more about trouble finding bras/dresses, back problems, etc.

Most kids high-school age it's not a big deal either. Now showing your boobs, that's crossing the line.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Well my daughter is 28 and recently divorced. She's been talking with a guy that she only knows from online/phone conversations for a couple months at most. I'd say they weren't close friends by that since I believe it takes longer than that and more contact than that to have a solid friendship. She was talking to him in the context of what type of boobs he likes. She mentioned she liked X star's boobs and then a conversation ensued about her liking another woman's boobs.

[Wise Donkey]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Well my daughter is 28 and recently divorced. She's been talking with a guy that she only knows from online/phone conversations for a couple months at most. I'd say they weren't close friends by that since I believe it takes longer than that and more contact than that to have a solid friendship. She was talking to him in the context of what type of boobs he likes. She mentioned she liked X star's boobs and then a conversation ensued about her liking another woman's boobs.

In this context, I can't say I would be happy about it as a parent, but also take into consideration I have no kids and I am only 28 myself. Her being 28 also puts it into the realm of it being her own responsibility as an adult. Without getting her view and this guys view, it is hard to particularly say friends or more. Going solely off the information that I have though, I would venture a guess that one or both of them is aiming for the more option.

[Losrase]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Well my daughter is 28 and recently divorced. She's been talking with a guy that she only knows from online/phone conversations for a couple months at most. I'd say they weren't close friends by that since I believe it takes longer than that and more contact than that to have a solid friendship. She was talking to him in the context of what type of boobs he likes. She mentioned she liked X star's boobs and then a conversation ensued about her liking another woman's boobs.

It sounds like he is trying to use "the close friends tactic" to get a date.

[Callisto]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Well my daughter is 28 and recently divorced. She's been talking with a guy that she only knows from online/phone conversations for a couple months at most. I'd say they weren't close friends by that since I believe it takes longer than that and more contact than that to have a solid friendship. She was talking to him in the context of what type of boobs he likes. She mentioned she liked X star's boobs and then a conversation ensued about her liking another woman's boobs.

I don't know if things are just different with myself and those I know, but straightforward talk about breasts is not even remotely taboo anymore and really normal to me(I'm 25 for reference). Especially in terms of 'X person has nice breasts', hell I have that conversation w/ my g/f about her friends in a straightforward manner.

Then again different guys can take things differently, but to me if a girl I'm aquainted with talks about breasts with me I don't consider that anything close to her coming on to me(which is good in cases like my best friend's wife, etc.), like I said if she were to flash me or shove them in my face for a motorboat or something, that's different, but that discussion just isn't that bad these days.