I've lost someone close to me.

[Feba]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

Again, I'm not debating this here. If you want to talk about it, fine, bring it up in a few months or something. But this is not an appropriate place for it.

[Murphie]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

It's not really your place to decide what is and isn't appropriate here. I am simply responding to the comments of others. If you want to make a stupid comment and then call "no touch backs" that's on you. But don't expect anyone else to abide by that.

Aksannyi - Again, sorry for your loss. And sorry for the stupidity being tossed around in here.

[Feba]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

Listen, Murphie, I was explaining his position in a more compassionate way to try to get you people to calm the fuck down some. If you don't like the point that's being made, that's your choice, but have some fucking compassion and don't try to turn the thread into a flame fest.

There are perfectly valid points on both sides, but either way this is not the place for a debate.

Don't make inflammatory comments and hide behind other people's decency in not escalating it to try to prove your point..

[Murphie]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

I don't have to defend my behavior in this thread to you, Feba. So kindly back off. This is the place for whatever Aksannyi says it is.

There is no compassionate way to explain his position. It's stupidity, plain and simple. Sugar coat it all you want, and it will still be stupid. There are no valid points being made on his side of the discussion, no matter how much you profess that there are.

[Sevv]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

Sorry Aksannyi ; ; if you need someone to talk to pm/message me.

(ps i took the time to spell your name right for once)

[Khyshi]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

I know exactly how u feel! However I've lost 6 ppl I've known closely to suicide in my life, but u eventually get over it and go on living the life they still could've had!

[Armando]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

I'm very sorry to hear that, Aksannyi.

And yes, it's perfectly natural to feel the way you do, an internet relationship (when taken seriously, of course) is just as valid as any other. It's not exactly a new thing, either; it's not like people didn't become good friends over snail mail in the past.

[Malevolent]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

So pardon me if I'm just a bit rude and emotional here, but Malevolent, you don't know shit about loss and nothing of strength or weakness. You've clearly not been there, its not like burying a grandmother who dies naturally, far from it. In that scenario, you have your peace, with suicide, the pain dies bit by bit over the years, but it never goes away completely.

Oh so you know me so well BBQ. Screw off. I've been there. Did you have your aunt hang herself at your grandma's 81th birthday? Then watch your cousins fall apart year after year then go and do the same? They were the only people i knew on my dad's side. There's no one left on my dad's side. It wasn't worth my time to mourn it only made my life worse. I decided to be happy for them wherever they made be. I've only had 2 people die because of natural causes. Good friends, cousins, aunts all commited suicide.

Its sad to see you do not to see the brighter side of death. If you don't what that is you really are blind, elitest, rude inconsiderate and just plan stupid. Realize mourning isn't going to make you feel better. Mourning will just add more and more to your heaping pile of shit that you experience day by day. Wherever the deseaced may be do you really think they want you crying over them. Be happy for what life or lives their death brought into this world.

Also for you to say that BBQ shows me how blatantly moronic you are. Fuck you, you know nothing about me.
______________________________

I don't have to defend my behavior in this thread to you, Feba.

I think you should. To be truly understood, you should. If not you're just the one displaying stupidity and arrogance.

There is no compassionate way to explain his position. It's stupidity, plain and simple. Sugar coat it all you want, and it will still be stupid. There are no valid points being made on his side of the discussion, no matter how much you profess that there are.

There are many valid points. Your ignorance blocks you from seeing it. You have no idea of what compassion is. So you, Murphie are going to tell me i have no buisness here? Telling me my opinions are incoherent? What gives you the position and audacity to say that? You're displaying just as much stupidity, if not more making that statment.

[Balfree]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

This is hardly "lame" Aksannyi.

I value online friendships just as much as RL friendships. Even if the online people are liers or fakes, its the persona they created that is real.

Sometimes people call "friends" to those who "proved" them to be their friends. Me... i don't think friendship needs to be proven, and if someone tries to prove their friendship... then its because its not real in the first place.

Ever heard that, the more you say "i love you", the less you mean it?

Therefore, i think friendship and caring for someone is not based on if you know them or not, their real name, their face, their habits and their tastes, its about them as an individual, its called unconditional love.

Needless to say this has become a topic of discussion in the past, and i could go on.

Two of my online friends have passed away in the past, their online profiles became their online burial sites where many online friends go often times to pay our respects and leave a couple of words.

Sorry for your loss Aksannyi.

[Jarre]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

While I sympathize with how you feel and what you say malevolent, that is how you have dealt with it personally. Each person deals with events differently its up to them to look for the best way to help them. Advice is always taken in and welcomed but in the end it is the individual that has to tailor that adivce to fit their personality. There is no wrong thing to say on how to deal with this type of situation, but everyone should realise that disagreeing with someone because thats not how you would deal with it is pointless. We are all right in many ways, Aksannyi now needs to find her path to deal and us to lend our support as and when she needs it.

[Sevv]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

OK since I took the time to read all the responses now, Take your bullshit arguements and just fucked up comments to PM's or make another thread. Seriously if you all wanna debate seeing fucked up shit I very much doubt most of you could touch what I see on a day to day basis. This is a thread not to debate what suicide is or even if it is right or not, powerful or not. Please just walk away from this thread if you would like to bring drama here.

Aksannyi since I am awake this time, I really feel bad for your loss I have dealt with this on a personal level more then once, also had two friends in college try to take their lives in my dorm room. It is a rough time for healing much as what BBQ has posted. There is many things that will be going thru your head and if you ever need me feel free to contact me at anytime.

[Nataka]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

You shouldn't feel bad about having internet friends and consider them close friends. Despite what people say, they ARE close to you. "RL" friends and "internet" friends arent really that different.

I'm sorry to hear that he killed himself... It's never fun when someone close to you dies, no matter how you met them or communicate with them.

[Illuen]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

Aksannyi, you have my deepest thoughts and sympathies, and I hope you know my thoughts will be with you. I knew a surreal amount of people who killed themselves in high school, and I still get sad and angry and horrified when thinking of them. They had problems in life that they thought were too much to handle, and rather than face them, they decided to run away, which was one of the most painful truths of the whole matter. For most of them, in two or three years, their problems would be gone, they'd be able to escape and live the life that they chose for themselves. They were nearsighted though, and gave up. They let not only themselves down, but every person who had tried to help them or cared about them down too. And for me, even though I got past being angry with the people; I'm still dissapointed that they were so damn nearsighted.

On another note; internet friendships are just as valid and real as offline relationships. I've met more people who I genuinely care about online than off, and the friendship and comradery that can shared through the internet is amazing. I've met so many people in real life who I first met and formed a relationship with online, and without the internet I know that I would have been so lost in the past.

So do not let any fuckhead belittle what you are feeling right now, or try and cheapen your friendship with your deceased friend because "Oh, you just knew them online". You know the bond you two had, and even in death, and through all the emotions you are feeling twords them right now, know that nothing will be able to break that bond, in life or death.

[Aksannyi]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

Sorry Aksannyi ; ; if you need someone to talk to pm/message me.

(ps i took the time to spell your name right for once)

It was the correct spelling of my name that got you the Thanks, just so you know.

Guys please ... while I know this is the internet and there are some of us here who like to argue ... this isn't the place. Want to argue the reasonings/beliefs/whatever of suicide, kindly start another thread.

Whatever his reason behind it, I still care about him and wish it could have ended differently for him. I do not personally see it as a positive loss, nor do I think that he made the right choice, but it is what it is and now we're all dealing with it.

[Ketski]

Re: I've lost someone close to me.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss Aksannyi.
Losing a friend that you knew IRL or Online is never a pleasant feeling. And suiciding as the cause of death doesn't help either.

Although no one close to me has ever suicided, my father had passed away when I was 11, after not seeing him for 4 years. It really is a tragic thing to see someone close to you just leave you. It took me some years to cope with it, and my social life suffered because of it. I grew angry and depressed over the littlest things. But although I certainly am not happy that it happened, I'm not entirely sad anymore about it either. His death made me learn how to grow up without a father, and it made who I am today, and nothing can replace that.

I've learned that you just need to move on. Death is irreversible. No matter how much you mourn and suffer, the dead will never come back. I'm sure he didn't want his friends to be suffering over his death anyway. Suicide, I believe, is acted upon impulse. I can't imagine any other reason for it. If you have friends or family willing to listen to your problems, and care for you, whether it be RL or Online, I don't see any reason for suicide.

Well I hope that helped. I'm not very good with talking about this stuff. It's hard to convey my emotions in to words. After all, English is my 2nd/3rd language.