What's your pet peeve in RL?

[DakAttack]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

No problemo.

[NightShayde]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

She may have already gone through the other gals at work. You're the new meat, therefore you're the new attraction.

Is she completely all-out hitting on you, or is it a flirtation thing? If she hasn't actually propositioned you (but you think that's gonna happen), I'd go with "I'm flattered that you find me attractive, but there are two things you should know -- (1) I'm happily straight & (2) I don't fool around with co-workers." If it's "just" a flirtation thing but you're getting odd vibes, perhaps a pre-emptive strike comment about how you're straight & that you've been flattered in the past when women have hit on you but that you're just not interested in women either sexually or romantically might do the trick.

[Aksannyi]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

She started after me, so I don't think that's it. But yeah, I'm gonna have to make sure I'm reading her right here. She hugged me when she left work the other night which is kind of odd considering we're pretty much strangers and she called in last night for her schedule and called me some endearment over the phone. Uh...

But yeah, I'm gonna have to fabricate a boyfriend, and possibly a ring. If that doesn't stop it, nothing will.

---------- Post added at 02:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:05 PM ----------

And I will be direct if necessary, but I still have to work with this person. So I'm gonna try to not be a total bitch.

[NightShayde]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

OK - so she could just be a huggy person (would explain the hug) & some people use terms of endearment for people in seemingly odd situations even when they're not hitting on them (mostly a Southern thing in my experience, but not limited to Southerners).

I think you can safely go down the "gosh I'm flattered, but I don't swing that way" path without coming across as a bitch & without having to fabricate a boyfriend (which might not really do the trick since she might think she can sway you from the whole penis thing). There are, after all, plenty of gals out there who have boyfriends but would be willing to have a fling with another woman. She also may just be testing the waters somewhat subtly & seeing how you respond. Bringing up your orientation in conversation before it even gets to the point of her hitting on you might make it easier for both of you -- no awkward moment & no risk of embarrassment.

Again from my experience, lesbians seem to be cool with it if you turn them down politely based on your own orientation.

[Aksannyi]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

Yeah I'll have to see how to play it. I'm not your typically feminine chick so maybe she got the wrong idea just by the way I act. But I have dropped a few times that I have started seeing someone (which isn't really a lie, after my friend and I hooked up a few weeks ago we have been sort of seeing each other just not like, officially) and I think she's aware that I'm into guys, but I'll have to be a bit more obvious about it.

And for the hug thing, she didn't hug anyone else. That's what's got me a bit suspicious.

Oh well. I have to grab some food and a shower before I leave for work. So I guess I should stop dicking around on forums.

[KingOfZeal]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

I'm a little curious how someone could consider someone else with biological kids to be anything other than straight -- sure, you may have had a change of heart after the kids, but having more than one kinda passes the impression that you didn't.

And fabricating a new person isn't very difficult apparently... I have a friend who invented a new person on facebook to get back at her ex for cheating on her. And technically, you don't even have to go that far: if she ever asks you if you want to do something, just say you're going out with your friend/fiancée/husband (or even just mention it 'in passing' one day). Subtle without being too harsh at the same time.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

And technically, you don't even have to go that far: if she ever asks you if you want to do something, just say you're going out with your friend/fiancée/husband (or even just mention it 'in passing' one day). Subtle without being too harsh at the same time.

"Sorry I have plans with my pimp on saturday. Maybe we can get together the week after? I shouldn't be getting slammed as hard at work. We'll do lunch."

[NightShayde]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

I'm a little curious how someone could consider someone else with biological kids to be anything other than straight -- sure, you may have had a change of heart after the kids, but having more than one kinda passes the impression that you didn't.

And fabricating a new person isn't very difficult apparently... I have a friend who invented a new person on facebook to get back at her ex for cheating on her. And technically, you don't even have to go that far: if she ever asks you if you want to do something, just say you're going out with your friend/fiancée/husband (or even just mention it 'in passing' one day). Subtle without being too harsh at the same time.

What does having kids have to do with being straight? There are plenty of gays & lesbians around who have denied their sexuality to themselves and/or others for ages -- marrying an opposite sex partner because that's what's "expected" of them. There are also plenty of bisexual people who have had children in opposite sex relationships -- having been married and/or having been in a committed m/f relationship doesn't mean that the person is no longer bisexual. There are also thousands of same-sex couples raising children -- some raising their biological children, some raising foster kids or adopted kids. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with the ability to breed -- only with the ability to create a child with DNA from both partners. There are straight couples who can't breed with each other, either -- instead having to rely on sperm donors or egg donors.

One of my best friends has a gay father -- he either didn't realize he was gay early on, or was just trying to do what was expected of him (perhaps a little of each). He & my friend's mom were married for over a decade and had three kids. He finally realized living the lie wasn't fair to his wife, his kids, or himself.

As far as the fabricating thing goes - I never said it wouldn't be easy. I just think it would be better for everyone involved if Aks can be honest rather than being deceptive.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

I think a lot of that "branding" has to do with the label "Breeder" that a lot of people in the gay community use for straight people. Many of them use the term to identify someone who is straight... suggesting that only straight people have children.

I personally have a lot of gay friends... so can see both sides of this argument... I'm just adding my own 2 cents.

[Etra]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

I think a lot of that "branding" has to do with the label "Breeder" that a lot of people in the gay community use for straight people. Many of them use the term to identify someone who is straight... suggesting that only straight people have children.

I personally have a lot of gay friends... so can see both sides of this argument... I'm just adding my own 2 cents.

Just to clarify, but the term "Breeder" when used to identify heterosexual humans has a negative connotation. It's not something one would say positively or even in between the two. It is generally meant to offend, even when said amongst friends to each other. Personally, I avoid using the word with this definition in mind.

I'm a little curious how someone could consider someone else with biological kids to be anything other than straight.

I don't mean to offend, but you're quite young, aren't you?


At any rate, Aksannyi, your best bet is just to go with the flow of things. If she does start making some actual moves on you, then it's your time to step up and say something. A lot of people, men or women, have the sort of personality you're describing but mean nothing by it. Until she starts getting into "petting" or beyond, just see how things pan out. If and when that happens, you need to be upfront that you're not comfortable with the situation.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

Just to clarify, but the term "Breeder" when used to identify heterosexual humans has a negative connotation. It's not something one would say positively or even in between the two. It is generally meant to offend, even when said amongst friends to each other. Personally, I avoid using the word with this definition in mind.

Oh I'm well aware, but it's good to clarify that to anyone who doesnt know. I probably should have mentioned that before anyone decided blindly that it was their new term of endearment. Aside from being used as as an insult however, it's also used as a way to draw a line in the sand between staight individuals and gays ones. Those who breed... and those who don't.

(still... it's a false generalization... as a gay man can easily donate sperm that is then used in artificial insemination for a lesbian couple... resulting in what is known as HOMOSUPERIOR... notrly... but wouldn't that be awsome?)

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

But yeah, I'm gonna have to fabricate a boyfriend, and possibly a ring. If that doesn't stop it, nothing will.

There's always the trendy "I love my boyfriend/husband" shirt I see women wearing.

Did I mention I hate the shirt?

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Also, I need to stop reading the news, its affecting my opinion of humanity again.

Some mentally ill 18-year old gets assaulted by his peers, bound to a table and "RAPEST" and "I like little boys" tattooed on his forehead and chest.

Then they claim he attacked them. Because, you know, my first thought when someone attacks me is "I'm going to tattoo "RAPEST" on his for head and not consult the dictionary first." Then there's the fact he has the shit kicked out of him and they don't have a scratch. Yeah, can we save these assholes a cell with some sex offenders in it?

Equally disgusting was that attack in McDonalds the other week, waged by teenage girls at that, on some transgendered woman. They kicked the shit out of her because they claimed she was making a pass at a boyfriend? I kind of doubt it. Just as sickening was the employee that recorded it on his iPhone and uploaded it to YouTube. Sure, he got fired, but I don't know if that was good enough.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

I just had my first thumb cramp in 28 years of gaming. Yes, a cramp in my thumb. It didn't really hurt per se, but I was in the middle of an online battle so it was kinda distracting how it kinda stiffened on me.

These thumbs better not make this a habit, I still got years of gaming I want out of it.

[Aksannyi]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

Some dickhole stole my newspaper. If this persists, there will be blood.

Or probably just me calling and complaining to both the newspaper company and the main office.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: What's your pet peeve in RL?

Vote: blood