Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

You made God cry everyday. Probably multiple times a day.

[Raydeus]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Since when have you been friendly? >_>

Exactly. *hint hint*

[Murphie]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

He was in that post. Duh.

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

He was in that post. Duh.

Right, and tomorrow in Dynamis 5 hundred pieces will drop >_>

[Taskmage]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Right, and tomorrow in Dynamis 5 hundred pieces will drop >_>

Do I get a rank 2 prize or something?

[Yellow Mage]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Those are four ten pieces. So . . .

/em consults the rulebook.

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Do I get a rank 2 prize or something?

Yes. /monocle.

[Ellipses]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I'm going to bitch about my weekend now.

Fecking In-Laws

Names changed to protect the feckers. I'll refer to people by their relation to my boyfriend (Sister, Brother, etc.).

My boyfriend's family came down to visit this past weekend. Minus his younger brother, because he got the weekend wrong and couldn't cancel his plans. This is the first time his parents have come to visit since his mom went into the hospital early in the year.

She's been having lots of problems ever since then. See, before that hospital visit, she'd fallen on the steps of their house. I don't know if she broke something, or just hurt herself a bit or what, but I think mostly she was morbidly embarrassed. See, she's very, very overweight (think Gilbert Grape). Falling down like that meant she couldn't get up on her own. So she spent the next several months inside the house, terrified of falling again, and letting her muscles atrophy.

Right now, she uses a wheel chair and walker to get around the house, lives downstairs, and has a recliner that lifts up to help her stand. Getting up and walking are very painful for her. Part of that is the stress on her knees and hips, which have some kind of damage now (though not just from the fall), and it's not helped by her complete lack of exercise.

They've gotten a loan to improve their house, and part of that money is hopefully going to getting a ramp built on. Supposedly, when that happens, she'll start going out for water aerobics and physical therapy. I have my doubts, though. Really, she could be doing that now, and has all the help she would need, but there is a very long list of excuses there.

When we told them we were buying a house, the first thing she said about it (at all) was "Make sure you think of me when you get one." Meaning "Don't buy a house with too many steps or too small a bathroom." No congratulations, no proud of you, no good luck. Those came later, but the first thing her son heard on the subject was "Make sure you think of me."

So, this weekend, they came to visit. Whenever she had to get up, to use the restroom, or when they were leaving for the hotel (no way she'd be able to sleep at our place), it was an ordeal. She'd get the help she needed to get up from her wheelchair to the walker, screaming and crying, and then crying her way to the bathroom, where her husband would help her. This was all honestly better than I was expecting. I'd heard stories of her screaming and breaking down crying anytime someone accidentally bumped her or if she ran out of water and no one had the ESP to refill it within five minutes without being asked. But outside the cries of pain, she was (or seemed) mostly stable.

She's also usually very micro-managing and excessively picky about things, especially the way meals are done. Normally meals, even when they're guests and we (or Sister) is doing the cooking, she'll sit in the living room and tell everyone else what to do and how to do it. And if things aren't completely perfect, she can't not complain. My theory on this is that she has these rock-solid ideals about the way things should be, and anything that doesn't fit them is an affront. There is only one chili, and that is chili the way she makes it, down to the size of the green pepper bits (literally; there's a story there, but not now). If the green peppers are sliced too big, it's not actually chili, and she wanted chili. If you loved her, you would have made chili, and not this bastardized concoction.

Thankfully, this didn't happen much this weekend. She didn't say a word about the way we grilled the chicken. And the only guilt trip about the spaghetti was "Did anyone make garlic bread? Oh. I guess that's okay. At least there's salad."

This also plays out with the way she yells at people when it's time to walk. There's no way to tell the difference between "Ow Ow Ow" that just indicates she's in pain and wants everyone to know it and "Ow Ow Ow" that indicates someone is doing something that hurts and she wants them to stop. She goes instantly from zero to "Let go of my arm!" (in this horrified, accusing tone). And part of that is also that she tries to suffer in silence until things are so bad that she has to yell at someone. In her mind, people should be able to detect when they're doing something wrong, even though she gives no indication.

Okay, those two paragraphs really are bitter and petty. Now for some of the reasons I'm so bitter right now.

Saturday night, someone mentioned that since their hotel was right next to Bob Evans, and they have good breakfast. Mother immediately latched on and decided we were all going out to Bob Evans for breakfast Sunday. No one wanted to say anything, of course, but we were all afraid of the scene this would cause with her screaming and crying her way into and out of the restaurant and through breakfast. Not just because it would be awkward for us. But because we all want to encourage her to leave the damn house, and if there was a scene, she would just shrink further inside her reclusiveness.

But that didn't happen at all. She was completely silent getting into the restaurant and to the table, despite having her wheelchair knocked around a bit. Completely silent using the restroom (not that I was there, but I heard about it), and completely silent getting into the van afterwards (which is the most painful thing for her). I want to interject here that hopefully this is a good thing, and it will show her that she can go out, and she might do so a little more.

But the consensus, especially between my boyfriend and Sister, who know her better than I do (though I've known her for almost a decade, I have a pretty good idea), is that she hams it up when it's just family. She's in pain, of course, obviously, but it wasn't even that difficult for her to suck it up in public (or we would have heard how difficult it was, or seen signs of struggle). When it's just the family, the screaming and crying are there so she can get additional sympathy and so that no one feels right calling her on her shit. I knew she was a bit of a manipulator, but I never realized quite how much until Sunday.

A few other bits of this. It's already been agreed that when they can't take care of themselves anymore, Sister and Sister's girlfriend will take them in, and my boyfriend and I and Brother will send money to help with that. Their house has a $125,000 mortgage on it. I can't imagine anyone paying that much for it. It's kind of large, but it's also really, really old, and not in the best shape. The electricity isn't anywhere near code, it leaks heat like a sieve, needs new siding and windows, one bathroom needs to be re-plastered (and has needed it so long that there's probably extensive damage), and is generally fucking filthy and run-down. They've recently started talking about assisted living instead. But they're not thinking that through at all. If they're going into assisted living soon, it makes no damn sense to install a handicap ramp on the house. No one else who would need that is going to buy the house the way the rest of it is, and the money would be much better spent on fixing problems. And with the market the way it is now?

Mother has lost almost 60 pounds since she came home from the hospital. She looks almost the way she did a decade ago, when I first met her. And there's no miracle drug or surgery or anything involved. She's just finally taking her diet seriously and doing things the way she should have been for decades. And the water aerobics? She's waiting on that ramp, but neither of them are actually calling contractors about it. They'll call once, leave a message, and not do any follow-up until Sister badgers them into it. Sister and her girlfriend did all the work to get them the house improvement loan (it's a program the city is doing to try and make it less of a crappy city). And she had the opportunity to do these aerobics years ago. She went one time, and then provided a list of excuses not to go again, despite all the offers of help and support.

Brother is living with them right now. He's 22, and fresh out of college, just starting his career and thinking about marriage. He doesn't need to live there, he makes enough to get his own place. He agreed to live at home for a while to help out, even though that's about the last thing he needs right now. They show absolutely no appreciation. They just bitch about every little thing he ever does wrong, guilt trip the living fuck out of him for not doing more, and pile all their stress on him. Father especially, because he won't let himself get angry at Mother even though she needs it sometimes. When they shut up, and let him just do the things he's agreed to do, he does them, but all the bitching just builds up resentment and turns it into a battle.

Granted, Brother is no angel. He can be a complete ass sometimes, and when Mother was in the hospital, he basically shut down and refused to deal with the reality of it at all. So there's this history of who did what and blame and everything. But none of that shit really matters, and both sides need to just grow the fuck up and deal with what's happening right now instead of constantly resenting each other. At some point on Saturday, this came up somehow. And Father and Mother took the opportunity to vent it all at us, obviously trying to get us to take their side and let them feel justified about the way they treat him.

Father and Mother, swimming in debt, play WoW together now. That's fine, $30 a month or whatever to give them something to keep them occupied (and, not surprisingly, keeping Mother from being in pain because she's too distracted to sit there pitying herself). But buying a new PC, and much more of one than needed, just for WoW is a bit much in my book.

We don't really expect housewarming gifts from anyone. His parents decided to give us a gift anyway, despite the fact that they're drowning in debt and constantly struggling with bills (and completely oblivious to the impact this will have on their children or the way it drags other people down with them). But they didn't think to ask us what we might want. Mother asked Sister, and a Target gift card was suggested. That would have been fine. But that wasn't what they got. Instead, they waited until my boyfriend and I were both home, sitting in the living room with them, and then tried to pull off the secretive mouthing of "How much should we give them?" negotiation, and then wrote a check for $50 right there. Not that they could have had that discussion any time in the preceding weeks, or on the three-hour drive to our place, or even sometime when we weren't in the room. And after the check was written, since we'd agreed to split the cost of the hotel room with them, jokingly suggested we rip it up and they'd just give us $15 since (after paying for a dinner they were planning to pay for) we were giving them $35. What a special and treasured gift.

The basic gist of all this is that my boyfriend's parents are selfish, immature, irresponsible, and manipulative, moreso than I realized. I know that they're human and we're all imperfect. I try to sympathize, and honestly, I do. I know what Mother is going through right now really, really sucks. I've met Mother's mother as well, and it's no surprise that no one escaped that bitch without trauma. I feel sorry for Father having to be there and do everything he's doing on top of working, and having no time for himself or the things he enjoys. But I've been sympathetic for almost ten years, and right now I'm just angry. Looking back, I can't think of a single time since I've known them that these two people have fucking been adults, and given what I've heard of the way my boyfriend and his siblings grew up, I doubt they ever were before.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

HOLY HELL Ellipses! My eyeballs hemorraged when I clicked that spoiler button! Sorry didn't read it but I don't have to.......I KNOW in-laws! >< /comfort

[Ellipses]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Yeah, it's a bit long, innit? It was a long weekend. I actually like them most of the time, but damn.

Thank you.

[Mhurron]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

My eyeballs hemorraged

Boy am I glad the spoiler button doesn't work for me.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

My eyes!!

................my eyes..............

Oh the pain...........

....................the humanity........

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

humanity.

Such a thing exist?

[Mhurron]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

http://baconexpress.files.wordpress....ge-manatee.jpg

[Mog]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

My eyes!!

................my eyes..............

Oh the pain...........

....................the humanity........

Google Image Result for http://bp1.blogger.com/_7FAsUT6FePU/Rs0GEeIN-uI/AAAAAAAAACE/ohd-NYJ8coI/s320/Total+Recall.jpg