Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

[Murphie]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

The bar I worked at didn't have stall doors. That did not deter people from using them.

[Feba]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Oh, man, you have no idea how much I hate that.

I've had, on multiple occasions, my urge to piss completely stolen by talking into a bathroom with no doors.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

by talking into a bathroom

I've heard of people talking themselves out of a situation, but never into one.

[Feba]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Goddamn organic fingers.

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

It almost just happened again, I went to wash my hands and put a fresh band-aid on a cut, some guy charged in like he was on fire and sat down...then immediately got back up, repansted, and moved to the next stall over. Probably glad he held it for that extra moment.

As far as bathrooms with no doors, back in high school we always had indoor track events at this one school whose fieldhouse had this one stall which was directly across from the door and had no door, so if the door opened up anyone outside was looking right at you on the can. I would get one of our big shot-putters to stand with his back to me in front of the door as my veil.

Flash forward a few years(maybe like 1.5 years ago) and see the wonders that alcohol does for your self-conciousness. I was out at the bar 5 nights a week and without thought would piss all over the side of my own car if it was closer than a bathroom. I think some nights I just pulled over and went on the side of the road on the way home. Luckily I righted some parts of my ship since then and stopped drinking as much, and generally make it all the way to a toilet now.

[Jarre]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

This is why I try to avoid using public restrooms at all. I don't like to be faced with these kind of situations.

I always carry a pack of tissues in my pocket for emergencies like that. Or hope someone friendly is in the cubical next door and ask them to send a handfull of heets under the partition.

But there is something worse than finding no bog roll, and that is the only cubical free you go into and someone has done a log, one that would be a danger to shipping if it were to find its way in the sea and havn't bothered to check if it had gone around the u-bend. The only way to get it down is to attack it with the toilet brush... asssuming there is one of course of which in most public convieneces their ain't. You ain't baring your arse to someone elses dump, so the dilema of leaving and finding another stall begins. the only problem is then if someone goes in after you, they will think you left it, and you can't say "By the way that not mine", because they will most likely turn around and say, "Oh really, does your have your name on it or something" Trains are the worst for this..

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I always carry a pack of tissues in my pocket for emergencies like that. Or hope someone friendly is nint eh cubical next door and ask them to send a handfull of heets under the partition.

See that's exactly the type of insanely awkward social interaction I dread, which is why I bailed on the scene entirely. I know I have some mental issues, but for some reason having some random guy ask me to pass him TP under the stall would just freeze me up, and I'd be racing to choose between giving him some, raising my legs and keeping silent and hoping he's like a T-Rex, or yelling "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" and raveling all of the TP up in my lap and clutching it like treasure.


And yes, I am seeking therapy soon now that I have insurance.

[Jarre]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I tell you the best laxative when you are mentally bunged (as you describe callisto) is the fire alarm, guarenteed release!

Of course you have the next dilema, should you stay in for that extra minute and wipe your arse properly hoping their is no fire, or pull 3 sheets off, fold in half and then wedge between your buttoxs and hope it stays in place doing the special "Toilet paper up my crack" waddle to the assembly point.

The worst thing of course is sitting there minding your own business having adump and next door you have the groaner. Someone who jsut can't squeeze it out. it first starts with a low level nnrrrrrgggghhhh. then silence, then repeat. You then here a slight rocking movement. (by now your ear is to the side of the partition tryign to work out who it is to take the piss out of next tea break) This goes on for a while. Then teh nrrghhhhh gets louder and you start to here some panting. Finally the release a huge plop, badly discuised by the guy whistling a random tune or coughing. Then there's the gas escape, normally a humungus fart, which due to the shape and dynamics of the toilet bowl, is echoed by 10 fold, with a slight increased baratone, this is then followed by a sigh of releif.

Now you need to know who it is so you finish off yourself and then spend a copious amount of time washing your hands, waiting for the spectacle to finish and see who it was. the guy then comes out, red faced with sweat pouring from his browl, you nod a greeting then rush to dry your hands before you burst out in spontanous laughter as you dash down the corridor.

[Feba]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I was out at the bar 5 nights a week and without thought would piss all over the side of my own car if it was closer than a bathroom.

Note to self: if in Chicago, do not ask Callisto for transportation.

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

...and someone has done a log

That is possibly the most amusing piece of British-speak I've ever read.
______________________________

Note to self: if in Chicago, do not ask Callisto for transportation.

It's not like I didn't put it through a car wash every so often. And I was talking about the outside of the car if that wasn't clear.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I tell you the best laxative when you are mentally bunged (as you describe callisto) is the fire alarm, guarenteed release!

Of course you have the next dilema, should you stay in for that extra minute and wipe your arse properly hoping their is no fire, or pull 3 sheets off, fold in half and then wedge between your buttoxs and hope it stays in place doing the special "Toilet paper up my crack" waddle to the assembly point.

The worst thing of course is sitting there minding your own business having adump and next door you have the groaner. Someone who jsut can't squeeze it out. it first starts with a low level nnrrrrrgggghhhh. then silence, then repeat. You then here a slight rocking movement. (by now your ear is to the side of the partition tryign to work out who it is to take the piss out of next tea break) This goes on for a while. Then teh nrrghhhhh gets louder and you start to here some panting. Finally the release a huge plop, badly discuised by the guy whistling a random tune or coughing. Then there's the gas escape, normally a humungus fart, which due to the shape and dynamics of the toilet bowl, is echoed by 10 fold, with a slight increased baratone, this is then followed by a sigh of releif.

Now you need to know who it is so you finish off yourself and then spend a copious amount of time washing your hands, waiting for the spectacle to finish and see who it was. the guy then comes out, red faced with sweat pouring from his browl, you nod a greeting then rush to dry your hands before you burst out in spontanous laughter as you dash down the corridor.

This post made me laugh so hard and so loud I woke my roommate up.

[Yellow Mage]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

This post made me laugh so hard and so loud I woke my roommate up.

If it was the one who snores, then I can see why you Thanked Jarre for that.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

If it was the one who snores, then I can see why you Thanked Jarre for that.

Pretty god damn much.

[Ketski]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I tell you the best laxative when you are mentally bunged (as you describe callisto) is the fire alarm, guarenteed release!

Of course you have the next dilema, should you stay in for that extra minute and wipe your arse properly hoping their is no fire, or pull 3 sheets off, fold in half and then wedge between your buttoxs and hope it stays in place doing the special "Toilet paper up my crack" waddle to the assembly point.

The worst thing of course is sitting there minding your own business having adump and next door you have the groaner. Someone who jsut can't squeeze it out. it first starts with a low level nnrrrrrgggghhhh. then silence, then repeat. You then here a slight rocking movement. (by now your ear is to the side of the partition tryign to work out who it is to take the piss out of next tea break) This goes on for a while. Then teh nrrghhhhh gets louder and you start to here some panting. Finally the release a huge plop, badly discuised by the guy whistling a random tune or coughing. Then there's the gas escape, normally a humungus fart, which due to the shape and dynamics of the toilet bowl, is echoed by 10 fold, with a slight increased baratone, this is then followed by a sigh of releif.

Now you need to know who it is so you finish off yourself and then spend a copious amount of time washing your hands, waiting for the spectacle to finish and see who it was. the guy then comes out, red faced with sweat pouring from his browl, you nod a greeting then rush to dry your hands before you burst out in spontanous laughter as you dash down the corridor.

Lmao. Cracked up on this one.

[Mhurron]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I love this thread. Going from a gun control discussion to relating shitty experiences in public bathrooms.