Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I feel ya Aksannyi, honestly I do. I had an online relationship for 4 years. We chated, roleplayed, talked on the phone at night. Then poof, she gets a real life guy which out weighs the internet lover. It's something that can never go away. Happened about 3 months after I started FFXI in 2004. Meh, I don't bother trying to find anyone as much, to much emotion and energy for something that's gonna be bound to fail. Bleh, all I'm gonna say.

[Xalioniaf]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Really, it was a stupid thing to even try in the first place. It's a touchy subject because I know you're probably looking for comfort, but it's gonna be hard to find any.
You screwed up. Don't do it again.

[Murphie]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I have a real life relationship, so I don't need one online. I appreciate the random flirting that I get from time to time, but if I can't interact with someone in person; show them my favorite haunts, take them out to dinner (or make it for them), spend holidays together, and just live day to day life, with all it's up and downs, well, I just don't see the point.

A real life relationship, IMO (please keep this part in mind), is a far more visceral thing than anything found online. It is always going to trump a relationship with someone you haven't met in person, because there are so many little things that you can't experience with someone you only interact with in a limited capacity.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I know all this, an no one actually *means* to fall for someone they can't have ... it just happens ...

I'm now stuck with the task of attempting to move on, and that I shall. Eventually.

I really just don't want to lose my friend.

[Murphie]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

That's understandable. I don't mean to imply that online relationships (of any kind) aren't real.

[Caspian]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Aksannyi, you're still married, right? I know you've mentioned in the past that you were married, but that you had problems, etc.
Assuming that still holds true, then well, I don't wanna go all Dr. Phil on you, but you might want to look back at your marriage and at yourself and work on finding out why you let it get as far with the online guy as you did.
I remember flipping channels awhile back and saw some show (probably mtv or some such shit) where they asked a group of people if they'd be more hurt if their significant other cheated, would they be more upset if it was because they had more of a connection with the other person, or if it was purely physical. I didn't stay on the channel to find out what they all thought, but I know personally I'd be more upset if it was a real relationship that they had with the other person. I don't say this to be harsh, but hopefully it might help you work out the rl problems that got you here. I'd like to say I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but I can't in good conscience. I don't mean to be harsh, but you know it was wrong. Honestly, trying to still hang out and remain friends right now, maybe for all time, is going to be incredibly difficult and will likely lead you down the same path again. I understand that you really connected with him, but there had to be something going on in your personal life that helped you take it to the next level.
Anyway, sorry for going on, the "shooting the shit" thread seems like an odd place to have this discussion. But I truly hope you get things worked out in your life. I'll be praying for you.

[Feba]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

there are a lot of other things humans have done that have no direct relation to it.

Bullshit. Anything you can find I can link back to sex.

the random flirting that I get from time to time

Goddammit Murphie, I told you to keep that private.



And Aksyanni, since it sounds like you knew he was married, I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for you. While I personally have no problem with polyamorous relationships, having a relationship behind someone's back is not only always going to end badly, but it's also incredibly cruel to everyone involved. Especially if you're still married, too (although you've talked before about that relationship having problems)


It might just be because I've only really had one person in my life that has got me anywhere near their relationship problems, and those were ones that everyone around them was telling them about (one of those people that manages to only date assholes), but it really seems to me that it's your fault here. Possibly his as well, but definitely yours.

I do hope you get better, though. Nobody likes to see a friend upset, no matter the reason.

[Mhurron]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Dr. Phil

Nothing to do with what's going on, but this guy has to die.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Aksannyi, you're still married, right? I know you've mentioned in the past that you were married, but that you had problems, etc.
Assuming that still holds true, then well, I don't wanna go all Dr. Phil on you, but you might want to look back at your marriage and at yourself and work on finding out why you let it get as far with the online guy as you did.
I remember flipping channels awhile back and saw some show (probably mtv or some such shit) where they asked a group of people if they'd be more hurt if their significant other cheated, would they be more upset if it was because they had more of a connection with the other person, or if it was purely physical. I didn't stay on the channel to find out what they all thought, but I know personally I'd be more upset if it was a real relationship that they had with the other person. I don't say this to be harsh, but hopefully it might help you work out the rl problems that got you here. I'd like to say I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but I can't in good conscience. I don't mean to be harsh, but you know it was wrong. Honestly, trying to still hang out and remain friends right now, maybe for all time, is going to be incredibly difficult and will likely lead you down the same path again. I understand that you really connected with him, but there had to be something going on in your personal life that helped you take it to the next level.
Anyway, sorry for going on, the "shooting the shit" thread seems like an odd place to have this discussion. But I truly hope you get things worked out in your life. I'll be praying for you.

I know what you're saying ... my husband and I have been in the process of divorce for quite some time, though, so it's nothing to do with him in the slightest.

For right now, I'm just trying to enjoy the game ... glad I got my CoP static to keep me busy, at least somewhat, and soloing on BLM at least makes me feel like I'm accomplishing things.

[KoukiRyu]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I have a real life relationship, so I don't need one online. I appreciate the random flirting that I get from time to time, but if I can't interact with someone in person; show them my favorite haunts, take them out to dinner (or make it for them), spend holidays together, and just live day to day life, with all it's up and downs, well, I just don't see the point.

A real life relationship, IMO (please keep this part in mind), is a far more visceral thing than anything found online. It is always going to trump a relationship with someone you haven't met in person, because there are so many little things that you can't experience with someone you only interact with in a limited capacity.

Quoted for truth.

I tried an online relationship once and well, while not bad, and enjoyable, after it ended I was left feeling rather...well empty. And then, when compared to, say my last relationship, it doesn't come anywhere close. So much better being able to talk to the person on the phone(if that's not viable online), being able to hug that person, hold their hands, take them places, etc.

I understand wanting/meeting/having an online relationship, but I honestly, in my opinion feel it could never measure up to a real life relationship.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I hope this update finishes before Besieged starts ... I was logged on with my mule doing the bazaar thing, and now they're making me update the game ...

Need moar xp on BLM.
------------------------------------------
Pardon the double post (if it doesn't merge me, that is), but this begged to be shared:



Yep it merged me.

[DarkEpyon]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I never actually got into an online relationship, but I've had feelings for a couple of online friends. I didn't act on the first one, but the second one ended horribly before it ever began. I started falling for this one person with whom I played Phantasy Star Universe, and we'd been friends since the days of PSO on the Dreamcast. Then one day, we were talking once how this person's mother was a chef. I said something like "like mother, like daughter I suppose." and they were like "you could say that", and then I was all "you're no d00d are you?" and s/he was like "Nice try, but you'll never get that answer." After that, I felt so betrayed, and the next morning flat out told this person they were dead to me. and blocked them. Alittle over a month later, we patched things up, but things were never really the same as before that incident. I guess things were as they were for as a reason, as I seriously doubt a relationship between us would've worked anyway.

A friend of mine on the other hand, met his fiancee on EverQuest in 2000, and now they have a son together and couldn't be happier.

[Feba]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

this one person [...] played Phantasy Star Universe

Thars yer problem.

Although seriously, if you're unable to love someone because of their gender, that's pretty fucking sad.

Unless you're expecting people to use their RL gender in a game, in which case first your Mithra avatar is hella funny, and secondly you have serious problems.

[Skoal]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Our party was destroyed in ToAU mission 44 today. Didn't even kill the blu. Now I am back at work.

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Thars yer problem.
Although seriously, if you're unable to love someone because of their gender, that's pretty fucking sad.
Unless you're expecting people to use their RL gender in a game, in which case first your Mithra avatar is hella funny, and secondly you have serious problems.

I think its more of the lines of lieing and not being honest in the first place rather than just gender.