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Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread
Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread
I'm not quite there yet. I'm still at the "Why not me/What does she have that I don't?" phase.
But I found serenity at the apartment complex's pool this afternoon. And I talked on the phone with my friend this afternoon and I really am feeling a lot better. I wish I'd always been closer to him. He's really been a great shoulder for me to lean on. I don't know if that's going to come down to anything but I feel like my blinders for ex-guy didn't really allow me to see how great of a friend I've always had in this other guy. As far as anything more, who can say? But I know that this past week I've gotten a lot closer to him and realized that he's always been my friend.
So yeah, I guess that's a good thing to come out of this.
And for the first time since Friday night, I've been able to finish a full meal. Grudgingly, but at least I managed it.
Also: this is my new theme song.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fxkbLKGFhg]YouTube - Final Fantasy X - Godsmack - Serenity[/ame]
(And I really like the FFX video with it, which is why I posted this one)
Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread
Met up with my friend for lunch today. I am really, really glad that he's my friend after all this. I have told him that I'm doing better, and we talked some more about stuff, but I started to notice that maybe he doesn't really like it when I talk about my "ex" (can't really call him my ex since we were never official but whatever) and I asked him, "Does it bother you?" He kinda shrugged, so I kind of made a point to myself to try to not talk about him so much.
Of course it will help to talk to someone, but I have you guys for that.
I'm doing ... okay. I walk outside every day and I put a smile on my face and I act like everything's fine, and when I think about him and I'm sad, I acknowledge it, but then I push it out of my mind. I'm not sure if that's the way I should do it, but I think dwelling on it and obsessing about every little thing that was said and done would be worse. Going to work will distract me, but honestly, I still don't really want to go to work. -.-
At any rate, I like my friend. I don't know if it's going anywhere but I feel better already, maybe because I don't feel like "zomg no one is ever gonna care about me." Because someone already does, at least somewhat. So I'm all right. Day by day.
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