Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

LOL Wish, I wish it were that easy. Don't get me wrong, I'm from the school of "spare the rod and spoil the child". I raised my kids that way and they are wonderful upstanding young people. They even say now that they are glad I was so strict because they see the problems that their friends had/have. I also have a VERY close and open relationship with my adult children which many of my friends do not have. But my daughter for some reason, forgot all the rules she had and let her kids grow up wild.................because she's LAZY.

I've grown until what I consider to be a fairly upstanding person, at least I hope so, and honestly if my mom hadn't beat my ass when I got out of line I don't think I would have. While there is a fine line between discipline and abuse and I don't advocate the latter at all, there are few things that get a point across and make it stick in someone's brain like the back of a hand.

Me: Alex, did you do something bad?

Alex: Uh huh

Me: Say yes or no.

Alex: Yes

Me: What did you do that was bad.

Alex: I was playing with the cat.

Me: No, what you did was not playing. What you did was bad, remember. What did grandma tell you not to do?

Alex: Pull the cat's tail.

Me: So what did you do that was bad Alex?

Alex: Pulled the cat's tail.

Me: Are you going to do it again?

Alex: No.

Me: Ok, good boy, you get 5 minutes of time out in the chair so be good. (For time outs always go 1 min for every year and make sure you aren't setting them in front of a tv for pete's sake. Put them in a room that it boring and keep an eye on them.)

This problem has a self-solving option: Don't declaw the cat.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I've grown until what I consider to be a fairly upstanding person, at least I hope so, and honestly if my mom hadn't beat my ass when I got out of line I don't think I would have. While there is a fine line between discipline and abuse and I don't advocate the latter at all, there are few things that get a point across and make it stick in someone's brain like the back of a hand.



This problem has a self-solving option: Don't declaw the cat.

Well Callisto, I was severely abused every which way when I was young by most of my close family members. People that know me were shocked that I even raised a hand to my children after going through what I did. But I think after all the long years of education and counseling I've gone through plus personal experience, I know the line that you don't cross. I will say that most of my colleagues do not believe in corporal punishment. I believe there is a happy medium.

Back in the day, beating your kids meant nothing. In fact, if you did it in public, people usually praised you for taking control of your children. (Ya, go figure. The kid is standing there with a bloody nose and another person praises them.) Nowadays you look cross-eyed at your kids in public and someone might report you. It's went too the other extreme, we've overreacted. I respect people that don't believe in corporal punishment but I would like them to respect that I think a swat now and again is in order. Unfortunately thats just not publically acceptable.


As for the cat, the neighbors got him and then decided they didn't like the cat. So they thought getting ALL of his paws declawed would make them like him more. NOT! So the wife told me they were just going to let it go outside.........a totally declawed cat.......wtf So we took him in and he's AWESOME! Such a lover, acts like a dog most of the time, and, for a cat, is very good with the kids. Their loss, our gain!

[WishMaster3K]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I think it all involves different types of parenting. The most important thing is having the punishment fit the crime, and for the person to understand what it is that was wrong.

If my kids act up severely, I'm probably just going to paddle them.

[Feba]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

It depends on the kid, really. My mom used to use a wooden spoon, or if grampa was around, his hand (I think having his fingers chopped off really helped with wind resistance. Either way, ow.) ; or have me drink lemon juice (It's like washing your mouth out with soap, except instead of soap which isn't really edible, it's something which is made to be ingested by HOLY FREAKING SHIT IS THAT STUFF SOUR.

The spankings didn't really do anything for me (I'd usually be back at it nearly instantly); nor did the juice. I simply didn't care about punishment. And of course the lemon juice was only there because I had a cousin who LIKED drinking the stuff. One spoonful for me was punishment; this guy actually liked how sour it was.

[WishMaster3K]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Being paddled stays with you for a few days.

Every time you sit down, you feel the regret.

But there are other ways to punish children aside from physical pain.

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I guess that's true that not everyone reacts to the same things the same way, I was relatively well behaved but if I were to do something like pull the cat's tail, I'd be slapped upside the head and told 'Don't pull the goddamn cat's tail!', and while a small lady my mother hit very hard, and it never really took more than one for me to realize that I don't want to be hit for doing that again, so I wouldn't.

Granted I got hit for several different things because I had more than one bad idea, but that's part of the learning curve growing up.

The spankings stopped pretty much once I was larger than my mom, but she'd still ninja-star me with a high heel or something every now and then when I got out of line. The woman's accuracy is fucking absurd.

[WishMaster3K]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I always thought the Eddie Murphy skit about Mothers being Clint Eastwood's with shoes was fiction until I got sniped from across the yard.

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

That was a fucking fantastic standup, lol. I gotta remember to get that on DVD.

[Caspian]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Spankings were the norm when I was much younger. But they quickly turned into a week or two long groundings where I couldn't see friends. The golden age was when my dad was out of town and before my mother figured out it didn't hurt when she spanked me.

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

The turning point for me and my mom was when I got bigger and stronger and the wooden spoon broke on my ass. She was like, "Well fuck, I guess that's out now." and had to move on to punishments more suitable to older kids like groundings and allowance denial.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

My mom used to use a wooden spoon, or if grampa was around, his hand (I think having his fingers chopped off really helped with wind resistance. Either way, ow.) ; or have me drink lemon juice (It's like washing your mouth out with soap, except instead of soap which isn't really edible, it's something which is made to be ingested by HOLY FREAKING SHIT IS THAT STUFF SOUR.

When I was a kid they used anything handy. LOL Some of the things I remember were shoes, wire hangers (which she actually broke while hitting me), wooden spoons (which if it broke she'd get even madder and get another), irons (and not the whimpy ones now, these were heavy mofos!), rubber garden hose (again much thicker than todays, trust me), frying pans, etc. There was a time when we went to the lake and I wandered off for hours. They wanted to leave but couldn't till they found me. When they did, my dad was so pissed that he made me walk across the hot coals they dumped out of the grill. Ahhhhh, those wonderful childhood memories....

My mother used to use bitters on me. I would have much rather had lemon juice. LOL

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Hey, at least you've been trained to win if you end up on Fear Factor or some shit.

[WishMaster3K]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Omg, hot coals is GENIUS.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

My mother and I are barely on speaking terms now, but back when I was in school, I may as well as just stayed out of her way.

She wasn't a hitter. No, no no no no. My mother is responsible for the severe depression I've suffered for 27 years, the depression that still makes me feel as though I'll never amount to anythig, I'm worthless, I'm a terrible person, a terrible mother, I'll never succeed, etc. Every day I struggle to face living, due to not only the way she belittled me, but used every opportunity to tell me how much better than me my brothers are.

Do you know why I joined the Army? I did it because my brothers did, and I was looking for some shred of approval. How many times do you think my family visited me when I was in the Army, and how many times did they visit my brothers?

I don't talk to anyone in my immediate family anymore except for my father. My brothers have made it clear that they don't give a damn about me, and my mother's interest in me lies only in the fact that I have her only grandchildren.

I will kill myself before I allow myself to become her. I do not have problems with light corporal punishment, but I will never make my kids feel like strangers in their own house, like coming out of the room is something to fear for what she'll say next. I hate my mother for what she's done to me. And I'll be DAMNED if I will let my kids grow up feeling that way.

I don't care what anyone says if they see me slapping my son's hand or something. A little slap will do a LOT less long-term damage than the verbal abuse I put up with for 20+ years.

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

/comfort Aksannyi