Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I've decided that rather than deal with this awful training by myself, I'm going to take you bastards down with me. So behold: Calli's day training at work!(Huuuuuuge post!)

Booyah

It begins with the introduction of our guide and protaganist, Evelyn. While I'm wary and torn on Evelyn's attractiveness, I approach with an open mind knowing that redheads are freaky, and something good may come of this.



Evelyn enlightens us on the situation of Michael in Purchasing...and makes me feel much better about the slightly shittier PC monitor that my company has given me compared to what they give Michael.





But Michael!



But what, byotch? I just said I got a new baby to feed!



That's right, were people to actually give away 80's-looking HD camcorders, they wouldn't be worth ruining your career over.



We've received anonymous reports of douchebaggery and extra-large cameras!



Fuck me! That bitch Annette must have ratted me out! The only way out of this now is to kill both her and Stan before anyone else finds out...



Musical Interlude: Fapping To White Bitches At Work



TOP STORY: MICHAEL FROM PURCHASING CAUGHT IN GINORMOUS CAMCORDER SCANDAL!! NO, NOT THAT MICHAEL, THE OTHER ONE. YOU KNOW, THE ASIAN-LOOKING ONE. YEAH, THE ONE THAT SITS BEHIND CHERYL.


Shit! Pop quiz and I wasn't taking notes!



Whew, aced it! And now I'm cleared to go ask Tits McGee in Marketing if she wants to go to lunch with me!




Did You Know? - We value both minorities and cripples!



Wooo! Role-playing time!



Bro?



Bro!



Braaaahhhh!!



Booyah. 2/2!


Next up, the touching story of Olivia, a mild-mannered woman from Product Development and her epic struggle with a fucked-up haircut and mild retardation:





Remember that protecting our Intellectual Property involves both not being a total fucking blabbermouth in crowded places, but also not making shady hand-offs of single compact discs containing all of our company's vital information and nuclear launch codes to outsiders.



Nooooo!!! I hope this doesn't affect my final grade!

Moving on to the heroic tale of Ross and his attempts to foil a vicious underground price-fixing ring ran by Sharon and Jessica, whom I would not turn a threesome with:



What?! The President has been kidnapped by ninjas?! Oh...price-fixing...well I guess that's important too...



And then...ve vill crush ze puny companies vith our mightee feests of market share! Mwahahaha...MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!



Fuck that shit, you bitches is crazy!



No seriously dude, dem bitches was cra-zy!!



FUCK YES FINAL EXAM



That shit's going on the wall.

Calli went on to bang Evelyn in a dark janitor's closet, happily ever after, the end.

[DakAttack]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Dude, that looks like fun.

[Ellipses]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I think you missed a black box there.

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread



Just because.
______________________________

I think you missed a black box there.

Thanks, lol.

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I'm thinking of getting a part time job at Borders, just because I enjoy going there when ever I can. Good idea or bad idea?

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

In between. Bear in mind 2 things: Retail pays shit, and working somewhere isn't the same as hanging out there. By the time you finish an 8-hour shift there you may be ready to gtfo and no longer feel like relaxing there, which you enjoy doing now.

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Retail pays shit, and working somewhere isn't the same as hanging out there.

This I know. But would it be better than working part time at place I hate or don't really like going to? Especially interview wise, applying to a place I enjoy going to as a customer, wouldn't that be a plus since I would then think as a customer while working for them?


Also, BBQ's new avatar makes me wonder, does he want to become the real Joker?

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

This I know. But would it be better than working part time at place I hate or don't really like going to? Especially interview wise, applying to a place I enjoy going to as a customer, wouldn't that be a plus since I would then think as a customer while working for them?

Maybe, I meant more of working somewhere you like to go might turn you off to the place eventually. In example, I used to love Baker's Square food, especially the pies. After waiting tables there for 3 years and eating their food near daily I couldn't even look at a fucking pie, and still to this day can barely eat desserts now. The same applies for if you end up hating the job itself, if this happens at a place you're impartial to it's not a big deal, but if it happens at a place you love then you'll have to deal with that conflict.

And thinking as a customer isn't always what you want to do. The #1 lesson of retail or foodservice is that while the customer is always right, they are also always complete mouth-breathing, fat, sloppy, incapable retards who you wish terrible things upon.

Also, BBQ's new avatar makes me wonder, does he want to become the real Joker?

I've always felt that BBQ's a total joker.

[WishMaster3K]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I used to love Dove soap until it was the only soap I had while I was pledging. Now I can't even bear to smell cucumbers and/or related product.

And I'd totally bank Annette. On her bosses desk.

With Michael operating the camera.

That way, she wouldn't be such an uptight bitch.

[Callisto]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Oh man over 2 hours left...I need to get out of here before I go crazy.

On the plus side, I just got off the phone w/ my buddy and he needs a dogsitter tomorrow night since he has a wedding to go to...so I get to hang out w/ his awesome dog and play MGS4 on his nice TV, and he'll be leaving me w/ a full supply of beer and pizza funds.

Worth postponing Ultima til Tuesday for.

Edit: Me drinking w/ said dog on his birthday!

Cool Ethan

Yes, we celebrate the dog's birthday.

[DakAttack]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I don't even remember how old my dog is. He's just old.

[Feba]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

200th page, 3000th comment, and all we get is Akashimo going "FIRST POST OVER 3000 LOL"? Fail, foram.

[Akashimo]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

I aim to fail Feba's expectations.

[Nuriko]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Yes, we celebrate the dog's birthday.

You probably do more for the dog's birthday than I get for mine ... actually, you CERTAINLY do, since today's my birthday and I've had a grand total of 4 people even say happy birthday.

The sad part is, one of the people who didn't is my father.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Official bored at work / just shooting the shit / no rails to derail thread

Callisto if I could thank you more than once for that post, I would. Laughed my hinder off! My husband had to do a similar one via his workplace but at least he was able to do it from home. Bad thing about that was I had to sit there and listen to it. LOL And you are a lot cuter than the dog!


FYI, Happy Birthday Nuriko!