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Dear Mrs. "X": Our store is considering banning your family from shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
Re: Mr. "X" - Complaints - 14 Things Mr. "X" has done while his spouse/partner was shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares..... and watched what happened.
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Re: Mr. "X" - Complaints - 14 Things Mr. "X" has done while his spouse/partner was shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares..... and watched what happened.
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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