Is this normal?

[Caspian]

Re: Is this normal?

I took 15 hours a semester and worked probably 20-30 hours a week. I still don't know how I did it, and hated myself for missing out so much on the social aspect of college. (I got quite a bit in, but I still missed a lot). No, its not normal and I wouldn't tell your mother this now, but its not going to happen either. Chances are she's starting to freak that you'll be gone in a few short months and is trying to instill a few more things into you before you're gone for good.
People seem to often forget about the social aspect of college. Yes, academics are important, but with so many jobs now requiring or requesting post grad work, its not as important as it once was. One of the most important things about college is the lifestyle. Don't go nuts and get drunk 24/7, but do enjoy living away from home, making new friends and getting a taste for being on your own. It also does wonders for your relationship with your parents. I remember really resenting them my last year of high school. After I got into college though, things started to change. You'll notice that a lot of the seemingly stupid things they told you when you were younger have actually payed off. You'll also notice their respect for you more. They stop thinking less of you as a kid and see that you're becoming an adult. (its not a bad thing to all you parents out there, most teenagers are dumb, I know I was, you think you know everything, but looking back I realized I didn't know a damn thing). Its weird, but you get to where you consider your parents to be good friends, not just adults who love you and tell you what to do, but people you can have legitement conversations with.
Don't worry too much about it (I really don't see it happening), just play it cool, try to talk to her about it w/o getting worked up, and just suck it up until August. She'll be crying so much when you leave she'll have forgotten the whole conversation.
This goes to all mothers, especially you TGM b/c I'm sure you did it to your son. How fair is it to cry in front of us when we leave? You make us feel bad.

[Tirrock]

Re: Is this normal?

At the university I was at, the computer lab moniter job was really good for doing your homework/studying. You got paid and rarely had to do actual work.

As others have said... Two full time jobs and college is impossible.

[Mog]

Re: Is this normal?

lol, nothing is impossible if you tried!

Take my brother, for instance. He lived in long island and went to hofstra university. Amazingly, he juggled

1. going to college
2. dealing with the daily traffic that a lot of people get in long island
3. Working a full-time job
4. Managing a job on the side, mowing lawns, I believe.

Only god knows how he managed to do all this and stay alive. The poor guy hardly had any free time to himself and everytime I saw him, he was always tired. I can see why.

Me on the other hand? I don't have a job atm. Focusing on my school work 100%.

[Rodin]

Re: Is this normal?

Thanks for the responses, I've been away at work most of the weekend. Anyways, the college I'm going to gives up to 11,000 dollars a year depending how well you do on the SATs. I think I freaking owned the SATs when I took them. So my college loans will probably end up totaling like $50,000 when I'm done college. I know my work will be giving me a small scholarship, and my dad's union might do it as well. I can also apply for a few scholarships at the American Psychological Association. So loans aren't that big of a deal to me. I just honestly think my mother is coming down with Dimentia or something. She's starting to make up events that didn't happen. And when she does, she sticks to it like a fly to shit. The other day, she lost her keys. And was yelling at me saying I had them last. I told her that I put them on top of the computer stand, and she flipped out. "I'm not arguing the point with you, FIND THE FUCKING KEYS!" I kept telling her I didn't know where they were, but she kept on yelling at me. She did for about 15 minutes until she yelled at me, "I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE FUCKING KEYS, FIND THEM!!!" At this point, I just had it, and yelled back at her, "IF YOU KNEW WHERE THEY WERE, WE WOULDN'T BE LOOKING FOR THEM, WOULD WE?" At this point, she shut up (finally O.O). 10 minutes later, my brother found them up in her room on her night stand. She said I used them to go out and drive to the store. I never went to the store the night before. So I'm thinking she's literally going crazy right now. >.>

[Caspian]

Re: Is this normal?

She's freaking out b/c you're about to leave. It'll pass. Either that or she's actually having a mental breakdown. Either way, ride it out.

[Tirrock]

Re: Is this normal?

Based on the limitations of the human body, I do not believe working up to 16 hours a day (plus travel time and breaks), going to classes, studying, doing homework, and sleeping can be maintained for any extended period of time.

Now maybe if you cut out college, one of the jobs, or sleeping it could be done...

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Is this normal?

This goes to all mothers, especially you TGM b/c I'm sure you did it to your son. How fair is it to cry in front of us when we leave? You make us feel bad.

Well, until you've been a MOTHER, you'll never be able to understand how hard it is for us. You'll get a taste of it as a father but it packs very little of the whallop that it does for us moms. LOL

The other day, she lost her keys. And was yelling at me saying I had them last. I told her that I put them on top of the computer stand, and she flipped out. "I'm not arguing the point with you, FIND THE FUCKING KEYS!" I kept telling her I didn't know where they were, but she kept on yelling at me. She did for about 15 minutes until she yelled at me, "I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE FUCKING KEYS, FIND THEM!!!" At this point, I just had it, and yelled back at her, "IF YOU KNEW WHERE THEY WERE, WE WOULDN'T BE LOOKING FOR THEM, WOULD WE?" At this point, she shut up (finally O.O). 10 minutes later, my brother found them up in her room on her night stand. She said I used them to go out and drive to the store. I never went to the store the night before. So I'm thinking she's literally going crazy right now. >.>

Well this could be a combination of things actually. Are you the youngest or an only son? Is your mother in her mid-40's or older? First there is seperation anxiety. When we have to "cut the apron strings" and let a child go is not any easy time. Females are nuturers, we take care of people, not shove them out the door. LOL Also, our job is to "mother". As our young ones grow up, there is less and less mothering to do. Look at it like this. You have a job and at your job your very important but as time wears on the people under you are needing your help less and less. You know the handwriting is on the wall for you soon because when they don't need you anymore, thats it. So it tends to make you antsy and nervous and pushy. You try hard to make yourself needed because you just don't want to face the fact your not. It's the same for a mom. It's our job and we are becoming obsolete. Another HUGE factor is that it shoves age in our face. When we are busy with kids, we don't have time to look in the aging mirror. But when they are older, need you less, and soon are to leave, you can't help but look and say "who am I & what have I done with my life?". Children leaving the nest is a very anxious time for parents, especially mothers. Then top it off with menopause symptoms starting to raise their ugly head and screwing with our hormones and emotions.......and yes it can be a very ugly time. I know it may not seem like this right now and your going to have to trust me on this, but if your mom is "going crazy" or "freaking out" take it as a compliment. You must mean an awful lot to her and thats why she's in such a vunerable and emotional state right now. It's the parents that have no emotion and are pushing you out the door that you should be upset about.

[Jarre]

Re: Is this normal?

has she got you cooking?

part of this cleaning thing is probably she dooesn't want you room at college to look like a pigsty (like most do, I admit mine was!!) and its a well known fact alot of male students can't cook. my mother spent many hours teaching me to cook myself a proper meal so i didn't have to rely on takeout and ready meals. Now the cooking thing....

As you all know i'm a part time firefighter, we are the 3rd applaince to turn up to the university halls fo residences and considering the usual pre determined fire attendance is 4 pumps and an aerial applaince, every fire alarm I get turffed out my own bed run across the road to the fire station don my kit and drive the pump to the halls normally to see about 1000 students in nightgowns at 3am in the morning because someone has "overcooked" (can be an understatement sometimes) their food after wanting a snack after getting in drunk from a club. we attend there at least 3 times a week so I know what I'm talking about lol.

One incident - 5 backed potatoes + microwave + didn't prick any + 40 minutes cooking = exploding microwave (don't try this at home kids, your parents wont be happy and its dangerous!!) microwave door was over end of kitchen and the walls were covered with burnt potato!!

Best advice, learn to cook, it will cost you less than convienience food and it will be better for you, also if you "communal cook" at least once a week with your flat/hosue mates it becomes a social thing and helps people get on better. It worked for me.

It sounds like she wants to prepare you for you upcoming "solo" outing into the world and also she doesn't really want you to go as shes used to having you around, it happenes alot. when you get there and after the first few nagging phone calls (what have you eaten, is your room tidy, how much have you spent) you'll find she'll be back to normal and will be able to have a proper talk like you used to. yeah its frustrating at the moment, but believe me, all parents go through this stage before their kids go to college / university (mine did) as they feel their going to loose their kids for a while which they are not used to, its even worse for them if you have a single parent family or are a only child.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Is this normal?

One incident - 5 backed potatoes + microwave + didn't prick any + 40 minutes cooking = exploding microwave (don't try this at home kids, your parents wont be happy and its dangerous!!) microwave door was over end of kitchen and the walls were covered with burnt potato!!

/choke!
/cough!
/gasp!

OMG I must remember not to eat lunch and read the forums!! You never know what someone is going to say!! ROFL!! (sounds like something my son would do!)

[Rodin]

Re: Is this normal?

Well this could be a combination of things actually. Are you the youngest or an only son? Is your mother in her mid-40's or older? First there is seperation anxiety. When we have to "cut the apron strings" and let a child go is not any easy time. Females are nuturers, we take care of people, not shove them out the door. LOL Also, our job is to "mother". As our young ones grow up, there is less and less mothering to do. Look at it like this. You have a job and at your job your very important but as time wears on the people under you are needing your help less and less. You know the handwriting is on the wall for you soon because when they don't need you anymore, thats it. So it tends to make you antsy and nervous and pushy. You try hard to make yourself needed because you just don't want to face the fact your not. It's the same for a mom. It's our job and we are becoming obsolete. Another HUGE factor is that it shoves age in our face. When we are busy with kids, we don't have time to look in the aging mirror. But when they are older, need you less, and soon are to leave, you can't help but look and say "who am I & what have I done with my life?". Children leaving the nest is a very anxious time for parents, especially mothers. Then top it off with menopause symptoms starting to raise their ugly head and screwing with our hormones and emotions.......and yes it can be a very ugly time. I know it may not seem like this right now and your going to have to trust me on this, but if your mom is "going crazy" or "freaking out" take it as a compliment. You must mean an awful lot to her and thats why she's in such a vunerable and emotional state right now. It's the parents that have no emotion and are pushing you out the door that you should be upset about.

I'm the oldest son. My mother is in her late 30's actually. And I don't know, but I'm thinking she's either having dimentia set in, or freaking out because she's never been to college. Right now, she's putting a LOT of stock into my local community college. She thinks that just because it's 10,000 a year instead of 36,000 a year, I won't have to get loans to pay it off. But to be honest, they have absolutely NO PSYCHOLOGY MAJOR WHAT-SO-EVER. My mother is trying to get me to be a nurse, for all the "benefits". When honestly, a clinical psychologist, starting out, makes around 70-80,000 a year, in the county I live in (a lot of messed up people up here). If I spend conservatively, I could pay off my student loans in 5 years, maybe even less.

And Jarre, I know how to cook . I also know how to mix certain drinks (;>.>). When I was younger, my father would watch a lot of cooking shows and the Discovery Channel nightly. At a very young age I was exposed to a lot of things: Surgeries, new cultures, food, drinks. I retain information like throwing a dry sponge into a pool. It took me about 2 months to learn Spanish. Now I'm studying other languages, like Japanese. It took me 2 weeks to learn Kana, and the stroke orders. But anyways, I learned how to make a lot of Italian, Spanish, German, Greek, Asian, and Irish food. But with a college budget, I think I'll stick to Ramen . I actually like cooking. I have a recipe I actually made up. It's Cordon Bleu in stuffed shells. It takes a while to prepare, but it's REALLY good. The cooking can be more attributed to my father, or even TV more than anything else. But I know how to cook, and I'm not gonna be drunk 24/7. I don't like Liquor, I only like beer, not light beer, that stuff is water to me :/. I like lagers, and it still takes a shitload of them to get me drunk. At my high-school graduation party, I drank 10 beers and wasn't even buzzed. I was the one breaking up the little squabbles between my two friends, who were hammered, and had only like 4 beers a piece (light beers as well -_-). Pretty much have a high tolerance to anything. When I was playing football, I remembered feeling a dull pain in my shoulder. I wasn't sure what it was, but after 2 weeks of it, I decided to see a physician. He said I was about || <- That close to pulling my Hyoid Major (muscle on the back used for flexion of the shoulder blade) OFF of my Scapula. I've rambled on, so I think I'll stop now >.>