Is this normal?

[Rodin]

My mother says at 19, I should be going to college, working TWO full time jobs, and helping around the house during all of my free time. Currently, I'm applying to colleges (every one at least 3-4 hours drive away, and trust me, she won't be getting my phone number. -_-) Apparently, I shouldn't even be spending two seconds on a computer unless I'm studying or typing a paper. Let alone playing Final Fantasy for five minutes without doing a "chore". Chores pretty much consist of cleaning 2-3 entire rooms each day. Is this normal? Am I wrong in thinking that I shouldn't even be thinking about this? I have a few buddies in college that tell me getting even ONE full time job is a mistake. For some reason, she thinks that getting two full time jobs will help me pay for college. I think that's just wrong on her part right there. I want to know some way to tell her that her ideas are wrong, and aren't normal, can anyone help me out? I'm going to be going to Wilkes ( www.wilkes.edu ). Yes, the tuition is ~36,000 a year. How the hell does she expect me to pay for that without loans? She says loans are too much of a burden after college. To note, she's giving me all this "information" without having ever gone to college herself. She wants me to work two jobs, and she doesn't even have on job. I work about 30 hours a week. Albeit I work 11 hour days, and get a lot of days off, but I use that time to train/work out. Because I'm looking forward to playing football in college. Am I wrong in my thinking, or is she wrong? O.o

(And no, I can't move out, seeing as how I've decided to buckle down and take her bullshit for another 5-6 months while I get into college.)

[Kittyneko]

Re: Is this normal?

Lol. I guess IGE becomes attractive now. ;p

Noooooooo I'm just kidding, before I get a warning or something.. >.>
I guess your mother has some nice plans for you. I guess you have to talk to her. It's your life. Can't sit around all day ofcourse as long as you live with your mother.. But still your own choice what you do with your life. Just my opinion, no offence to your mother.

[Jei]

Re: Is this normal?

full time jobs mean over 8 hours a day? how can one possibly have 2 full time jobs that way : /

[qaitakalnin]

Re: Is this normal?

well it is possible to do 2 full time jobs, it certainly isnt the most pleasent thing to do. But to do college, and 2 full time jobs, wow, now that would be impressive since, well sleep would be like non exsitant for you, but hey there is the weekend...right? As far as the loan thing, she probably thinks they are similar to like a car or home loan. One thing i would recommend against though is the whole "she isnt getting my phone number". She probably just sees you playing FFXI (or other games) and is concerned that you wont do something else. Help out around the house, i dont think you are paying rent, but you know let her know that this is just a hobby, that you are seeking college and are lookin into job opertunities, see monster.com so you arent lying to her. I think she is just concerned for you....or she may...well i wont say cause it isnt nice to talk about other people's mother like that....sorry...

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Is this normal?

But to do college, and 2 full time jobs, wow, now that would be impressive since, well sleep would be like non exsitant for you, but hey there is the weekend...right?

LOL

Well to address the loan aspect of your issue, most parents don't like to see young people start out in the negative. I know I wasn't too keen on my son taking out a loan to pay for college but it was the only realistic thing to do. I guess she's just trying to teach you that loaning money/using credit cards are not the answer all the time.

But with that said, to think that you can work 2 full time jobs and go to school is just asinine. When I was young (pre college) I worked 4 hours in the morning, did school for for 4 hours, worked another 6 hours at one job, then left that one and went to another job for 4-5 hours. That left approx 3 hours of sleep a day and inbetween stuff I could take quick showers. Studying was done on job breaks and if I had some extra evening/early morning hours. Since I went through that, I KNEW that it was not possible for my son to put in hours like that and excel. It was either have him do mediocore in school and work or do well in school, which is better for his future, and take out a loan or two. I prefer he do well in school BUT he did work a part time job because he wasn't going to be getting "fun" money out of me.

As far as her cleaning issues, don't worry about it, you'll be out of there soon enough. For now, grit your teeth and just do it.

[Pyroweaver]

Re: Is this normal?

Yes its normal now get out there and get two full time jobs and get into Harverd like your mummy says ^^

lol j/k but really if you even get one job >.> heres a simple equation
J= job C= College M= Mom T= Total meltdown
JC + M = T

just run that a few times ^^ might try asking BIG BEN

[Kagerou]

Re: Is this normal?

I'm going to college soon, but getting 2 full time jobs is just retarded. What you should do is get a GOOD GRADE to get scholarships+one full time job. That'll make shit a lot easier.

I'm so glad I can speak 3 languages. It makes job searching easier for me (especially since I live in NY)

[tdh]

Re: Is this normal?

Sounds a little crazy, but when you talk to her, keep your tone of voice nice and even. Either way be ready for the "my roof" line. "As long as you're living under my roof..." There's no real way to avoid hearing that, no matter how you approach this. Let her know you have goals/plans, let her know what they are, and ask for her support.

Yes, you could pay for school on your own, and the stress will make your hair fall out, or make you pull your hair out. You're going to need walking money, so a job will help with that. But unless you have scholarships/grants, you're going to need a student loan.

I know the feeling of never wanting to appear like you're doing "nothing" in front of your Mother. She walks in the room and you're not doing anything of importance and suddenly you're worried about getting yelled out for not saving the world or something.

But honestly, if you're working 30 hours a week, and working out for a football try out, you shouldn't have a whole lotta time for FFXI anyway. lol

[Tiamat_Zero]

Re: Is this normal?

WEll bro all i can say is your mom is nuts, no offense but it sounds like to me your mom wants you to take care of her since she has taken care of you. Get the loans and get out as soon as you can. Try finding an apt or some friends that live close to the college so you dont have to live on campus, Also get a job , but one that wont interfere with your school work, You have lots of time to think about a career and a family later but for now ya need to consentrate on a education cause that will get you farther than just having a job and only a high school diploma.

And the loans can be paid off.. They dont take that long to do that anymore...

[Mog]

Re: Is this normal?

And the loans can be paid off.. They dont take that long to do that anymore...

LOL it's all subjective, man. Loans can take anywhere from a year to your entire life to pay off. I know I'm going to have loans when I graduate.

[Jarre]

Re: Is this normal?

Ok every life is different...

Heres my storey...

Went to university to study architecture = 5 years fulltime 2 years in industry.

I had to get a student loan out each year costing me £4000 ($7000ish) I worked in a supermarket for 24 hours a week (mostly sat and sun shift with another weekday night) and more during holidays on teh checkouts on a measly pay, but it kept me going with my loan. I was able to do my university work during my free periods and in the evenings, i also had time to play FF7 and 8 and Gran tourismo for at least 1 hour a day (sometimes more, dependant on when i decided to go to bed and if i had 9am lectures or not) I normally only need 6 hours sleep at night so I had minimum 16-18 hours in the day to do things (depending how tired I was)

Currently I still owe the Student Loans company here in the uk £10,000 ($18,000) which I pay off about £150 a month ($265) off my pay check to them.

Its possible to do, these days goign to college / university here in england, you know your going to be in dept wih a loan, that unfortunately is a fact of life. Just be happy in knowing you ain't the only one, they'll be millions of people in the same shoes.

you need a job and work as many hours you can get, but still make some soicla fun time, your not expected to be a zombie, everyone needs a break and some fun, you just need to be able to balance fun, work and college if you can do that, theres no problem and college life will be great.

[DrivenTooFar]

Re: Is this normal?

Yeah forget putting all of that pressure on yourself, especially at 19. There will be plenty of time to stress yourself out later.

For about four years when I went to a community college I worked a full time job, went to school full time (about 4 classes a semester) and even worked another part time job. On top of that I had to spend time with my wife and young daughter and do a lot of homework. That left only a little time for me and I got really stressed out all of the time. It's no fun and no way to live your life. I had to do it to support my family but you may be luckier than me.

Recently I quit my job, sold my house, made a nice profit and I'm now attending school full-time at DeVry University. I actually have time to devote to homework and everything else without stressing out. When I do get a job it will be a simple part-time job.

Also, about the loans, you have 6 months after you graduate to pay them off. That gives you plenty of time to get a kick ass job and get settled before you pay. Unless your rich, loans are unavoidable but it all works out in the end. Just make sure you graduate.

Bottom line, all that crap will kill you. More importantly, WORK SHOULD NOT INTERFERE WITH SCHOOL. If you work to much your grades will suffer, causing you to drop out of school. By the way, tell your mom to read everyone's post.

[aegina]

Re: Is this normal?

i had trouble handling ONE job plus college, let alone two!

i don't think any human being on earth could handle TWO full time jobs AND college at the same time, and still get good grades...

[silentsteel]

Re: Is this normal?

the school plan I'm on where I can graduate high school with my associates degree and get a scholarship for 75% off 5 years of college for almost any college in the state. ^^

[Macht]

Re: Is this normal?

Sounds a little crazy, but when you talk to her, keep your tone of voice nice and even. Either way be ready for the "my roof" line. "As long as you're living under my roof..." There's no real way to avoid hearing that, no matter how you approach this. Let her know you have goals/plans, let her know what they are, and ask for her support.

Hehe, never actually heard the "my roof" line. I would of expected it though, if my life during that specific time hadn't been so thrown off. Bad mess don't recommend anyone going through it to avoid that line >.< .

Yeah 2 jobs, college, and chores of cleaning 3-4 rooms sounds just INSAINE. Don't know how big the rooms are but for my place now 3-4 rooms is a 4-5 hr. job. With 2 full jobs (8hrs each, 16 total) and chores like that totals out to 20-21 hrs then do college. Well hope the teleporter is invented SOON for you and able to survive 5 days without sleep (Average human's body shutsdown after 3 days without sleep. I mean SHUTSDOWN, the final goodnight, 6 feet under, dead!!), oh and find a way to extend time because 24 hrs just isn't enough for that schedule. Lol, hope you have a LOT of brain cells to lose and weren't expecting to look like an OLD man by 28. >.>