Tweet
Exclusive Story: Swamp Stampede! (05/26/2008)
Rumor has it that a large flock of chocobos has been seen galloping out at the Pashhow Marshlands at breakneck speed. But that's not all, readers. Our source tells us that a hodgepodge assemblage of monsters—yes, monsters—has also been witnessed thundering alongside these flightless avians with equally impressive tenacity. What in the name of Altana is going on?
While delving deep into this mystery, one of our reporters was able to make contact with an adventurer claiming insider status to this bizarre occurrence. Only on the condition of anonymity did this individual reluctantly agree to an interview. And now, for the first time, the nature of the secret conversation between our reporter and the adventurer known only as "Deep Moat" will be revealed to the public.
Click here to learn the shocking truth!
Anonymous adventurer "Deep Moat" (Windurst) retelling his account in animated fashion.
So, what was it you wanted to know about?
Aaah, the crazy-wazy happenings at the Pashhow Marshlands...
Talk is, the Vana'diel Chocobo Society (VCS) is involved all the way up to its tail feathers. While monstarus are definitely being let loose in these races, no one seemy-weems to know the reason behind it. Not even yours truly, I'm afraid.
What? You don't believe a word I say?
Even after you get an eyeful of this!?
Determined to authenticate his statement, Deep Moat presented me with an image taken on a high-tech foreign contraption known as a "soultrapper."
Working in journalism has conditioned me to approach all claims with skepticism, but nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. The above image of chocobos playing catch-up with a cactuar and a dhalmel among other creatures is undeniable, full-color proof of the rumor.
How do you like that, eh? That'll teach you to doubt me!
But this is merely the appetizer. The main course I've prepared will shocky-wock the unbeliever rightaru out of you! Now, I couldn't get very close to take the picture, so it's kind of small. But if you just squintaru your eyes like so...
By the Goddess! Is that what I think it is!?
Haha, I was saving the besty-west for lastaru. This snow-white chocobo beauty only occasionally participates in these races. But when it does, by the end of the race the other contestants are guaranteed to be encrusted in half-dried marsh mud.
Why's it white, you ask? Hehe, I saw that question coming from a miley-wile away!
Now, before I reveal the juicy details to you, I just wantaru to make it clear how hard it was to come by this info.
Now listen up. From what I know, this chocobo is—
Uwaaaaaaaaah!!!
And that's all we were able to learn before the interview was abruptly cut short when an unidentified individual warped Deep Moat to an undetermined location. We have thus far been unsuccessful in our attempts to regain contact with our informant.
What manner of conspiracy could possibly be transpiring behind closed doors at the VCS?
Was the secret Deep Moat failed to reveal so damning that he had to be silenced?
The truth is out there waiting to be uncovered...
Rumor has it that a large flock of chocobos has been seen galloping out at the Pashhow Marshlands at breakneck speed. But that's not all, readers. Our source tells us that a hodgepodge assemblage of monsters—yes, monsters—has also been witnessed thundering alongside these flightless avians with equally impressive tenacity. What in the name of Altana is going on?
While delving deep into this mystery, one of our reporters was able to make contact with an adventurer claiming insider status to this bizarre occurrence. Only on the condition of anonymity did this individual reluctantly agree to an interview. And now, for the first time, the nature of the secret conversation between our reporter and the adventurer known only as "Deep Moat" will be revealed to the public.
Click here to learn the shocking truth!
Anonymous adventurer "Deep Moat" (Windurst) retelling his account in animated fashion.
So, what was it you wanted to know about?
Aaah, the crazy-wazy happenings at the Pashhow Marshlands...
Talk is, the Vana'diel Chocobo Society (VCS) is involved all the way up to its tail feathers. While monstarus are definitely being let loose in these races, no one seemy-weems to know the reason behind it. Not even yours truly, I'm afraid.
What? You don't believe a word I say?
Even after you get an eyeful of this!?
Determined to authenticate his statement, Deep Moat presented me with an image taken on a high-tech foreign contraption known as a "soultrapper."
Working in journalism has conditioned me to approach all claims with skepticism, but nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. The above image of chocobos playing catch-up with a cactuar and a dhalmel among other creatures is undeniable, full-color proof of the rumor.
How do you like that, eh? That'll teach you to doubt me!
But this is merely the appetizer. The main course I've prepared will shocky-wock the unbeliever rightaru out of you! Now, I couldn't get very close to take the picture, so it's kind of small. But if you just squintaru your eyes like so...
By the Goddess! Is that what I think it is!?
Haha, I was saving the besty-west for lastaru. This snow-white chocobo beauty only occasionally participates in these races. But when it does, by the end of the race the other contestants are guaranteed to be encrusted in half-dried marsh mud.
Why's it white, you ask? Hehe, I saw that question coming from a miley-wile away!
Now, before I reveal the juicy details to you, I just wantaru to make it clear how hard it was to come by this info.
Now listen up. From what I know, this chocobo is—
Uwaaaaaaaaah!!!
And that's all we were able to learn before the interview was abruptly cut short when an unidentified individual warped Deep Moat to an undetermined location. We have thus far been unsuccessful in our attempts to regain contact with our informant.
What manner of conspiracy could possibly be transpiring behind closed doors at the VCS?
Was the secret Deep Moat failed to reveal so damning that he had to be silenced?
The truth is out there waiting to be uncovered...
. . . 
Comment