Do I suck? was I wrong?

[Draco Dagon]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

Hi everyone Just thought I would have a little rant while I'm here.
Right I'm a lvl12 Whm and decided it was time to got to the dunes and party, I got all my spells and some decent equipment and also got my stats fairly high for my level.
Anyway I play this game for fun and my own enjoyment and allthough I want to get as far as I can, Allthough I'm sensing the end of FFXI is nigh my main goal is to enjoy myself on remora.
Back to my issue well after I got to the dunes I waited ages for a party and eventually got an offer. the party already had a Whm at a higher level than me. I was the only person with a map of the dunes too, I told the leader I hadnt partied before and he said it was cool and he seemed really understanding. so I asked the group what the strategy was so i had an idea of who was doing what.

anyway "sorry for this"

the team all had a right go at me and I was still not sure of who was to be where and what ever. The thing that got me most annoyed was the other Whm. nobody had informed me if i was main healer or not.
So
the battles started and the other whm did nothing i had cast protect on everyone and aquaveil on myself so had used some mp already. during the battle only i was curing EVERYONE! dragging hate to me and getting myself clattered. I finally ran out of mp and realised the otrher whm was still doing nothing. so i said in party chat "no mp left "name of other whm" please take over I'm resting.

So I begin to rest and the party members are shouting at me to get up. as far as I know a whm job is to keep everyone alive and without mp I cant do it, the other whm had done nothing ALL battle so just before people died i used benediction wich got me killed. I made my way back to where we were and the fight was still going on and allthough i wasnt in the party anymore I felt obliged to stand at the side and heal them all till it was over. then I realised nobody was telling the other whm off he hadnt contributed at all to the battle no buffs cuz i did it beforehand no cures no banish or para! so they invited me again but I declined,
I said I'm sorry but I'm not going to party with you "other whm" is doing bugger all and i dont think i should help him leech exp from our hard work. then i said allthough I'm a newbie I worked my ass off for you guys and you were rude so i will leave you and tell "whm" that WHM is a JOB and with a job you do WORK! then I left

I always thought it was a game and thought some people take this game way too serious, but after that experience I now realise even as a casual player why people get so frustrated!

sorry for the BIG rant congrats if you got this far, I just needed to vent my anger because my bf doesnt understand what im on about lol.

and so to the main point of the thread

Was I wrong in what i was doing? Was I doing my job wrong? Was i wrong not to go back with them? why did they pick on me and not the lazy WHM with full mp and health?

thanks in advance for any advice you give

Love and hugs Galen from Remora xxx

You were right to do what you did, and did your job quite well, better than expected really. Just you should have {/blist}ed the other whm some time afterwards so you can remember who NOT to invite in the near future.

[Icemage]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

Only thing wrong I saw in the description was the use of Aquaveil.

Theoretically you don't want to be hit as a WHM in a party, and if you do get hit, getting your spells interrupted probably isn't such a bad thing most of the time, since that just means you didn't finish a spell (and draw more aggro in the process).

Really the only time to use Aquaveil is when you're solo. Don't cast it in a party.


Icemage

[Ichifay]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

I feel your pain, very similar experience before. You've done nothing wrong and the fault does not lie in you.

Just don't let it get to ya. I've met some incredibly rude people while partying in the dunes but there are also a ton of nice people that are willing to help.

Just think about all the nice peeps and new friends you've made along the way It'll ease the pain a little...

[Karinya]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

There are unwritten rules concerning party etiquette, however. Typically if you're going to leave, give the party leader a 20-30 warning, and try to find a replacement.

I think you're being too harsh here. One of the recognized exceptions (IMO) is if you've just died due to the conspicuous stupidity of another pt member, which is clearly the case in the original example.

I don't mean just a double pull, because shit happens. But people going AFK with no notice, or pulling a monster that is WAY out of the party's league, or using -ga spells in an unsafe way, I don't think it's unreasonable for anyone killed by something like that to refuse to risk any more of their exp in that party.


Also, I'm an old schooler - I believe that finding replacements is the leader's right and responsibility. It annoys me when I'm leading a party and someone who is leaving finds their own replacement - often it is someone that isn't well suited to the party (level and TNL doesn't match the rest of pt, bad SC compatibility, sometimes even a significantly different party role).

I recognize that this is a minority opinion these days, so when I notify a party that I have to leave and it seems like the party will continue, I do ask if they want me to replace myself; but I won't do it without at least discussing it with the party. The worst case would be that you invite someone to replace you only to find out that the party is disbanding then anyway - you wasted the "replacement"'s time and pissed them off (justifiably).

[Gentoo]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

I think you're being too harsh here. One of the recognized exceptions (IMO) is if you've just died due to the conspicuous stupidity of another pt member, which is clearly the case in the original example.

I think you're reading far too much to my response. That wasn't a rebuke. Please also note, that just prior to the comment you picked out about leaving with notice & replacement (if possible) I also said:

> Was i wrong not to go back with them?
I don't think so.

None-the-less, now I'm worried that my message might've been miscontrued in general. So, Satori, if I came across as the antediluvian FFXI'er wagging my finger at you and scolding you for how you handled things, I apologize.

My point being, Satori was pefectly justified in leaving when and in the manner they did.

Going forward, it becomes easy to recognize these kinds of disasters early on, and it's best to make your escape as quickly as possible. Give your notice, and find your replacement, and get outta Dodge.

[Satori]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

Ok so i went back there and played and got into a great party Exp was coming quick and fast it was ace then they had to go.I got into another party and they were pulling two at a time not resting or staying together for protectra and bar spells, Every fight nobody died but i was resting after battles and using ginger cookies. and I thought i was doing well then I start getting told im slowing them down because i was resting. fair enough i thought and I said i can leave if you would like i need to go to bed anyway, and I got begged to stay, so I stayed for a while and still nobody died. then one runs off to get signet cast, one runs off to pull and both come back together with goblins after them, all was going well till it did some AoE thing and i was curing like mad. I had one of them die "who wouldnt be healed after battles instead went to pull" who gave me grief over them eating dirt. now when they died I was using Cure II on the galka we had there as curing him takes my time and mp. So I thought forget this I savedb your asses enough and this is the thanks i get. I wouldnt have minded but I was better equiped than them, was prepared with my cookies and had kept them alive without using benediction, So I said thanks for their time, I didnt cast any lots, and left.

Am I too sensitive to play as a Whm?
Any advice is greatly used,
or do I just really suck?

[Icemage]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

My advice: Stop overanalyzing your play.

Parties do get better at higher levels, I promise. It takes a while, but struggle through the general idiocy and make it to level 18 and you should see a measurable improvement in skill and attitudes.


Icemage

[Vandros]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

The dunes are a nice vicious circle. Most good players won't invite new players (no sub, rank1...etc) unless they have to. Why? They've been burned way too often by the h2h war that wants to be a pld/smn, the whm that does nothing but spam cure2, Bene, and disband when they pull hate....you all know the types.

So who's this leave for the new players? Other new players and some of the really awful 'veterans'. So you get the ones that expect you to be Superman, be able to pull mp out of the air and instinctively know the correct responses to each situation, which you likely can't....which leaves you coming here and asking what you did wrong.

I'm rambling a bit, but the point I was eventually trying to get across is it's not you, it's the DUNES. All you can do is Solo, grind out with bad parties, or win the lottery and get a nice party that knows your limitations and is willing to work with you. Good luck ^^

[Shanisasha]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

I'm glad you found a better party the second time. Of sorts.

WHM at low levels is HARD. You don't have enough MP, the melees take too much damage, and you have to try and squeeze your MP for all it's worth. Cookies are probably the best way to go for you. Most melees in the dunes have a) no idea of what it is to be a healer b) a higher level character used to play with higher level whms.

Soon you'll be getting nice fun toys, like Regen, to offput those 'running off without healing' melees. Toss it on them and watch them come back to camp with full health.

Only advice I can give is keep trying, keep bar spells up to minimize damage (they do wonders against bomb toss) and keep buffs up. It'll get better soon, you'll see.

Also, don't be afraid to leave bad parties. "I'm sorry, I don't think this is working out" is perfectly acceptable if the party is not willing to work with you. For some reason, melees dont believe in talking to their white mage. I've found out that making melees aware of some of the issues is a great help towards the working of the party ("If you keep running off without my healing you, you're going to eat dirt, you realize? Just hold on 2 seconds for me to toss you a cure").

[Eohmer]

Re: Do I suck? was I wrong?

I can't think of anything else that hasn't been said already.

Satori, you did what you could and from what you said about the PT, they were jerks. The ONLY thing I can think about them yelling at you and not the other WHM is that the other WHM was everyone else's friend, so they feel they should yell at the new player and not their friend. Either way, your actions doesn't make you a bad player.