Wives and FFXI--Please help me out!

[ManaBurn]

I used to play MMORPG games quite a bit, before I got married. My wife has always hated "my girlfriend" (which is what she calls my computer). She doesn't like RPGs at all, which has caused a bit of strain in our relationship from time to time. However, she loved Final Fantasy X and became interested in Final Fantasy XI after some of my friends, (sympathetic to my cause), talked to her about how cool it was. She knew that I was wanting to play it, but I had refused to buy the game because I hate not being able to invest time into my character and knew that it would cause problems between us. She wound up deciding that she wants to play FFXI, but she does not want to play with other people.

*whew*

(Sorry to be so long-winded...)

I started a RDM, and she started a WHM. She does NOT want to group with anyone besides me. I figured if anyone would know, it would be the people on this forum. I need to know how long we can group together without other people before xp becomes ridiculously hard to come by. If I know the approximate level, I can (hopefully) gently steer her into some groups around then because I do not want to get her frustrated with the game and wind up quitting.

[Elrundir]

Hmmm... with just you and a WHM, EXP will become hard to come by sooner rather than later. You both can (and probably should) solo levels 1-10, maybe a little higher. After that, you should be able to group in La Theine/Konschtat/Tahrongi (depending on your hometown) and take down at least the weaker stuff. Now, NORMALLY, at around L12 or so, you'd start grouping in Valkurm or Buburimu... but with just two of you, this is something I would not suggest. You'd probably want to level in the aforementioned three places until, I dunno, 15-16, and then *try* Valkurm/Buburimu and see how well you do, at least against the Hill Lizards.

I honestly think that after Valkurm/Buburimu, when you head off to Qufim in Jeuno (most people do so around level 19-20), you'll really be sunk unless you can find larger parties. I don't even know how well you can do in *Valkurm* without a full party... if you were to try Qufim with just you two, you'd probably have to wait until L25 or something, and even then I don't know how it would work out.

You see, by this point, as a RDM, your melee is already starting to slip -- you'll do less and less damage per swing, and miss a lot more than you remember. Seeing as how you're the only damage-dealer and tank your party has, that's not a very comforting thing.

I honestly suggest that you try to coax her into a party as soon as soon as you humanly can. Two facts: 1) The sooner she learns about parties, the better. 2) Once she hits L10, she'll be getting party invites by the bushel, so she had better get used to it.

Hope that helps!

[Jei]

my gf plays FFXI with me, and she's trying to catch up my level right now.

problem i have is that she's still lv 50. I'm waiting at 60 to play with her and have been waiting for ... 2 months... now. iso want to be 70. Right now what we're doing I play her char while she's not playing. And when she plays I log out and let her continue the PT...

I tried to use Brd to level with her Blm which... worked for awhile till we were both 30 then I get super sleepy and bored everytime to play Brd >< plus waiting for PT with 2 people is... harder for some reason. so we ended up doing what we're doing right now. both levelling the same char, which is her char.

[Solistam]

Years ago, I tried to nip this problem in the bud. I got my fiancee into MMORPGs, starting with the bread and butter of the genre at the time, Everquest.

However, as good plans often do, it backfired on me Now I cant get her to *leave* the game to play FFXI. Ah well.. I hope she comes around someday

As for your wife, my best suggestion would be to get her to try grouping with a full PT, and if it goes well, maybe she'll want to play with other people as well

[Weezingpipes]

No offense and all mana burn, but your wife is crazy. This would just be annoying to have to ONLY play the game with your wife. She must be doing it intentionally to annoy you which I would say you are better off quitting. It will only cause problems in the long run when psycho has to realize the 2 of you won't be doing much of the game without other people at all.

[Iiowyn]

Well...the best option i can see for you guys is to level to 30 somehow and then both go BST, from what ive heard the best duo group in the game is 2 BST.

Iiowyn

[Wilu]

Slow but Steady

Back when my husband I were still dating he used to play EQ ALL the time, I didn't understand it until he coaxed me into playing. I hated it, then a month later I got hooked too. The problem was that like your wife I was still very timid about certain aspects of the game, like grouping. So it was just me and him for a long time. Finally we started out small by just grouping with one other person, a good online friend of his, until I got used to the idea that more people in the group the funner it was. No waiting for both of us to heal up to max before the next pull, or ending up with a bad pull and getting frustrated. It was great!

So maybe you should try to find a good melee friend of yours to introduce her slowly to bigger groups. Show her that it can be more fun with more people. Also it can start to teach her to talk in group chat and to communicate with the whole group, something alot of people tend to forget when they are playing in the same room together.

If she is really hesitant try making a deal, if she doesn't like how things are going after an hour then you can go back to just the two of you, but by then she'll be having way too much fun to leave. :-)

[Uroboros]

You can duo all the way to about 21 for exp. It will not be nearly as quick as being in a full party though, of course. Past 21 though you're going to areas where it's just really not a good idea to try and gain exp without a full party.

RDM is a really, really good solo job...there are some mobs that an RDM can solo even if they check as tough, up to a certain point. The crab-types in Valkrum, for example. However, in a duo, if you're the one who's supposed to be doing damage, and your wife is healing you, it's going to be very hard to keep the mob off of her once she's tossed a couple cures onto you...RDM simply doesn't do damage quickly enough. If she's set on WHM, consider going the WAR route. That way you'll have provoke, and you won't have to worry about how bad WAR is solo, since you have a WHM backing you up. Use a boomerang or bow to pull mobs, and save Provoke for whenever they turn away from you to her.

Finally, for the Lv18 subjob quest (one's in Buburimu Peninsula, the other is in Valkrum Dunes) you pretty much HAVE to have a full party, or at least some higher level people helping you. Ghouls aren't so bad in Valkrum, but Bogys in Buburimu Peninsula are a HUGE undercon, and can even give people that check them as easy some very serious trouble.

[Arli]

I'm kind of going through something similar with my significant other - though she's not to the point yet where she's playing MMORPGs, as she's just been introduced to playing on consoles in the last month or so, but she's been keeping tabs on my own exploits.

I think Wilu makes a good point in that alot of the hesitation comes from being apprehensive about something that's as consuming as an MMORPG. Usually they'll latch onto you for fear of drowning in the sheer amount of people and scope of it all. Finding a mutually trusted friend to introduce her to the "group" setting may be a good window of opportunity.

Once you both get to the point where duo-ing mobs isn't effective anymore, both of you are going to get frustrated - so the sooner you can get her to be more sociable and group with more people, the more enjoyable the experience will be.

All I can say is, go very very slowly, and be patient with her. Try to relate alot of the concepts of the game with things she can relate with. If she's ever had experiences with chatrooms, or even online chat with her own friends, you can use that concept to try to explain to her that an MMORPG is more about socializing that hunting. Even though the anonymity of it all means its fertile breeding ground for assholes, for the most part, real-life social rules and regs still apply.

Anyway, good luck with it man, I hope things work out.

[LoneWolfy]

lol this is zoey
I started playing this game because of my boyfriend. We used to pt together in beginning not being in same pt didnt bother me. in this game you have to play with lots of ppl. pting will just the 2 of you will suck past 20 by then if she likes the game she wont mind pting with others. this her way to just do something with you. if she'll only play with you and she get mad otherwise tell her dont play. It will only drive you nuts. I like it now maybe she will you never know. My bf switched to bismarck now leaving me on rag he went to find more english speakers lol now we on different servers;; but now he trying to get me to switch haha^_^

[Mithrael]

My wife and I also exclusively level our main jobs together. She's a BLM and i'm a DRK. We're fortunate enought to know another couple who play together, so we always have 4 people. We just look for a tank and another person to balance based on whether we have a nin tank or a pld tank. I can say it's been a truly great experience.

Even though she plays quite a bit less than me, i can honestly say it hasn't bothered me at all. In the times that she can't/doesn't want to play, I gil-farm to get the oh-so-expensive DRK equipment, raise my crafting levels, help other ls-mates get keys, or level other jobs that seem like fun.

I guess it comes down to your relationship We wanted to find a way to make it work for us, and i think we have.

As far as when you have to party. With the two of you, there is really no reason you can't duo up to 20. Melee damage differs very pre-20-ish, even if the numbers look different, the delay ends up making it close to the same. If you are both careful, you can chain worms in Shakhrami, then in Korroloka with just the two of you, you can do that all the way up to 21 when the worms in Korro become decent challenge. She'll need barstonra (and silence at lv.15), and you'll need cure/cure II and up to date elemental spells.

[lacrolix]

heh heh

A LS member in our Linkshell was talked into playing the game. The husband now rarely gets to play b/c the wife (our LS member). Needless to say she tells our LS that he is saving money now to get another pc built and a copy of the game to be able to play.

I say gently coax her in. Look for other married couples that play. I've partied with a few IRL married couples that have their own pc's and copies of the game. It's great for giving a heads up of a pull during lvling parties.

[Nexus]

thank God my GF Has no objections about FFXI. She hates MMORpGS or RPG's

[Quezi]

Is a red and white mage duo the best idea? It doesnt seem like that would work verry well at all, in the end nyther of you are damage dealers, or tanks, yet you can both heal...

I think the best idea would be to make a warrior. Then you can be a white mage/warrior duo. And have the basis of a group, that way you could add another person and their part wouldnt be as crucial. She can get used to healing the tank, you, and it may not seem to bad to just invite one extra person to just do some more damage.

Altho i find it impossable to make people like mmorpgs, they either do or dont, yes sometimes they start out not likeing the idea and eventualy get hooked themselves, but its on their own accord. She may well be doing this just to try and spend time with you doing something you like to do, if thats the case i dont think it will ever really work out, as her heart is not in the game. MMORPGS are social hobbies, like clubs or sports, they are not simply 'games', thats one of the main draws for them. The reason i play them is becaus i LIKE being on a team that has to work togeather, it makes me feal good when everything goes smoothly and i do my part, everyone else does their part, and it all works out. Thats why i play, really if you dont want to play with other people you may aswell play a singleplayer game.

All that said i am a strong advocate of soloing, and i find it sad there are so few mmorpgs that have balanced play where grouping is always better exp, but soloing is still possable. If grouping is worth it then people will group, but forceing them to by denying them the ability to solo is just anoying. Sometimes i like to play by myself. Altho i suppose maby its good that i have to spend this time farming instead of exping=P

[Shiia]

Well I am lvl 60, my friend is still 50. Very similar situation with Jei, although not GF, but its rl friend. I stopped lvling now and waiting my friend to catch up. He is a whm and the few times we partied (when we were 51 and 50 I think), rdm and whm lacks firepower... bigtime. We are very effective and we never die, but it takes AGES to kill anything post 40 mobs. Really if he changes to a blm maybe then we can make up a good team... but whm itself around lvl 50 can even die on WORTHLESS con mobs.