Darwin Award/Jackass moments

[Losrase]

Darwin Award moment = You did something incredibly stupid(may not be aware of it at the time) and died because of it = -->
Jackass moment = You did something incredibly stupid with the knowledge it has a high chance of ending badly = -->

I had one of each happen this week.

Darwin Award moment:
I decided to take my mule to Jeuno to get more inventory space from the Gobbie Bag quests. I forgot that I am not on a high level character and run past a Tough Young Quadav. Who proceeds to show me what his sword looks like close up and the fast route to my home point.

Jackass moment:
I went to Garliage Citadel [S] as BST/NIN to get the sparkling light so I can get access behind the second gate in the present. I did a Wide Scan and saw a NM. I sneak past all the Scorpions to see that the NM is a Fomor wielding a polearm (forgot his name but it starts with a B).
I thinking to myself that there are 5 decent challenge Scorpions close enough to charm but far away enough not to aggro...I can take him. I charmed one Scorpion and let him attack. The battle went as follows:

Scorpion hits Fomor for 23
Scorpion hits Fomor for 26
Fomor hits Scorpion for 436
-At this point I realize it will be a very long fight and I forgot to cast Utsisemi.
Scorpion hits Fomor for 23
Fomor hits Scorpion for 412
-I begin to run out of aggro range to cast Utsisemi but realized that I am suddenly standing directly infront of the Fomor. This means my pets went from 5 to maybe 3 if I can get him to the edge of his roaming route.
Scorpion hits Fomor for 29
Fomor hits Scorpion for 412
Fomor crits the Scorpion for 762
-Ok...I better switch to a fresh scorpion so I can make a escape. I move across the room to cast.
Losrase casts Utsisemi: Ichi.
-I get aggro and he take two strides and is in melee range. His speed was the same or faster than Catrot Rapido at full sprint.
1 Shadow disappears.
1 Shadow disappears.
Scorpion hits Fomor for 21
Fomor hits Scorpion for 427
-I run across the room Leave the scorpion and charm another to attack him.
1 Shadow disappears.
Fomor hits Losrase for 398
Scorpion hits Fomor for 24
Fomor hits Scorpion for 423
Losrase casts Utsisemi: Ni.
1 Shadow disappears.
1 Shadow disappears.
Scorpion misses Fomor.
-I equip my "Oh Sh!t Turtle up Gear"
1 Shadow disappears.
Scorpion misses Fomor.
Fomor hits Losrase for 282
Scorpion hits Fomor for 19
Scorpion hits Fomor for 28
Fomor hits Scorpion for 427
-I run across the room and equip my warp crudgel.
Fomor does some crazy WS for 854 to Scorpion.
Scorpion crits Fomor for 32
Fomor crits the Scorpion for 793
Losrase uses warp crudgel.
-The next sequence of events make be believe their warp script remove charm, does warp animation, then loads new zone.
Scorpion is uncharmed.
Fomor hits Losrase for 358
-------Loading New Zone------
I am in Bastok with about 150hp left.

[Khalus]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Funny Stuff... That would be Buarainech that almost made ya meet your maker...hehe

[Durahansolo]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Yeah...Deciding to let my PUP friend tank Aquarius as PUP/WAR. After he died I started tanking as WAR/SAM so my DRG friend could get away. Of course my DRG friend decided to not run and ended up getting us both killed LOL.

Darwin Award: Trying to kill that one huge mob in Delkfutt's Tower that has a Selfdestruct move. Myself and a RDM friend were in the tower going on an adventure which was pretty fun until we ran into that guy. We decided to fight it and of course it selfdestruct AOE'd us and killed the both of us lmao.

[Armando]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Darwin Award moment = You did something incredibly stupid(may not be aware of it at the time) and died because of it

Technically you don't need to die, only remove yourself from the gene pool. Not that it has a lot of bearing on FFXI, unless you somehow manage to smash your balls with your controller.

Darwin Award also has Honorable Mentions, which is doing something insanely stupid simply because you're stupid and ignorant, but failing to remove yourself from the gene pool.

My Darwin Award moment: Trying to solo an Ark Angel on PLD/RDM. Was not expecting to win but wasn't expecting to die so badly either.

[Durahansolo]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Doesn't logging out and back in erase the BLU spells you have equipped? (I know for sure that switching jobs does it, but its been so long since I played BLU that I don't even remember.) I don't know how many times I've set my spells then jumped out to get gear from a mule then either ran out to solo or party and almost get killed because I have nothing set LOL.

[Ziero]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Most recent darwin award for me was last Tuesday, after a successful 5 manning Promy Holla and then hightailing it to Lufiase to escort my friend to Tav, we come upon one of them new NMs. At this point it's me, 75 War/Nin with all of 300 hp, a Smn/Whm and a lvl 30ish war/mnk. Hopped up on heavy metal, a promy victory, and utter disappointment about how easy Promy's are nowadays...I decide to go smack the NM. Two hits later and I was eating dirt.

....of course I still had RR on and have capped exp...and was wearing town gear and never bothered to cast shadows...so I knew what was going to happen. But it was still totally worth it.

p.s. The bastard isn't even worth going back for since he doesn't drop anything good.

[Firewind]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Dawrin Award Moment #1

Back in my newbie days I was trying to finish the Rank 1-2 Mission for Sandy where you have to go to the Grave in Ranperre's Tomb where spook spawns. Well I went to the wrong area and clicked the underground door where the NM Wyrm and Lv60+ Bats and Skeletons spawn. Needless to say I made it two steps before my Lv14 WHM was on the floor.

Dawrin Award Moment #2

During an exp party in Kuftal on PLD a party trained Guivire past us. I was selecting Flash out of the spell menu without a target and because it auto-targets the nearest attackable mob you can probably guess who I ended up pulling...

Dawrin Award Moment #3

Spent five days camping Charby to get a Joyeuse for my PLD and COR. He popped when my party wasn't quite ready and he was close to the other Sea Monks in the tunnel. But we had competition, a couple of people turned up to claim because apparently someone had paid this LS to camp and kill Charby then let him lot on the sword.

I paniced when it popped, flashed and Charby and two regular mobs came charging, wiped me and the whole party, the two RMT'ers went and got the claim and killed him.

Happened in July and I haven't had a Charby claim (where I could lot on the sword anyway) since then...

Dawrin Award Moment #4

I cast Cure in the middle of Ro'Meave on my first visit there...You can guess the rest...

[Romyro]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

My puppet has Darwin moments…
…He strongly feels robber crabs should be silenced.
…he also feels Blinda is more beneficial than Cure V when I have ~10hp left.

Dawrin Award Moment #1

Back in my newbie days I was trying to finish the Rank 1-2 Mission for Sandy where you have to go to the Grave in Ranperre's Tomb where spook spawns. Well I went to the wrong area and clicked the underground door where the NM Wyrm and Lv60+ Bats and Skeletons spawn. Needless to say I made it two steps before my Lv14 WHM was on the floor.

Oh good, I wasn’t the only one.

Dawrin Award Moment #4

I cast Cure in the middle of Ro'Meave on my first visit there...You can guess the rest...

I was one time trying to claim Shiki. So…instead of a long spell like Stoneskin or blink, I chose Teleport-Mea.
/sigh…

[Losrase]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Dawrin Award Moment #1

Back in my newbie days I was trying to finish the Rank 1-2 Mission for Sandy where you have to go to the Grave in Ranperre's Tomb where spook spawns. Well I went to the wrong area and clicked the underground door where the NM Wyrm and Lv60+ Bats and Skeletons spawn. Needless to say I made it two steps before my Lv14 WHM was on the floor.

Did the exact same thing in my newbie days.

[Truece]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

I had hate against an orc in a campaign battle and wanted TP so I could keep myself alive. I popped hundred fists. I didn't even think about it. That is, until I saw that the orc had orcish counterstance up. I was countered to death before I could cancel my 2hr.

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Darwin Award: When I was a level 20 SMN... back in the day. I had done a lot of research on exactly how to do the Mini Avatar fights. I bought a yag drink, 2 ethers, 3 Hi-potions and pumped myself up. Used my Mini Fork and jumped into the crystal. Once inside... I buffed with Protect and Shell... rested to full and walked to the top of the hill. At the top I popped my yag drink, summoned Carby and assaulted.

I remember thinking to myself... "BOOYA!!! LETS DO THIS!!!"... but then I saw what came up in my chat log:

Carbuncle hits Titan Prime for 0
Titan Prime hits Carbuncle for 957
Titan Prime defeats Carbuncle

-.-* ... soon followed by...

Titan Prime hits Yygdrasil for 876
Titan Prime defeats Yygdrasil
Yygdrasil falls

I was apparently too excited and didn't realize that I had traded my Tuning Fork of Earth and entered the PRIME fight.... not the MINI.

*facerape*

[Takelli]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

lol nice story guys. Never really had an issue like that but my best one so far in ffxi...

Soloing in qufim on my level 30 dancer, I saw Slippery Sucker (New NM in qufim, drops PoS earring, now I know.). I was like.. "I have 300Tp, I can take it." I run up to it, and both attacks missed, he his me for 233 and Stunned me, then hit me for 203 killing me, and deleving me, making me fight with no weapon until I leveled up (1 fight lol)

Another was when I was duoing with some one else. Qoofim was the name... Killed the Drk in two strikes, and I ran (Lived) lol. The Drk came back as a naked Rdm/Pld, and killed it. I decided to get some skill ups, but I missed, and some how I pulled hate, and it killed me... >.<

[Solymir]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Lol. Good stories. I too have fallen to Slippery Sucker. I think I was level 30'ish Drk/Dnc. Later that same day I saw Qoofim, and said to myself "I'm not falling for this again". I looked it's level up on FFXIclopedia and then promptly ran to a different area to get my fish for FoV. I also got knocked out by the nw NM Gigas in Beaucedine Glacier about a week later.

Most of these locations I have solo'd in so many times that I don't look at names. Once I've reached a certain level I stop checking mobs too, so nothing to see in chat log.

[Neverslip]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

Older {death} story of mine ... My memory was jogged from your Qufim woes, Takelli.

My buddy and I were duoing at the pond. Night settles in and we get back from the Banshee's area toward the path to Jeuno before the Wight's aggro-range. I'm slightly closer to the danger than my friend is. We're on mic's via XBL and he tells me that one of the Banshees is heading my way. On my screen both of the Banshees are still immobile and very far away and he's like "NO ... dude... it's coming for ya... yer dead!!" ... I quit resting, and am standing up, however I don't make it to my feet... the animation just nose-dives me into the ground and suddenly the Banshee's hovering over my corpse. My buddy was like "That is soooo messed up, dude... I thought we were outta aggro range."

I have RR up so when the Banshee depops, I hit the "okay" ... my buddy is like, "Dude the other is heading... ur dead!!!" I'm like.. "Nah... I'm..." my animation does the same nose-dive into the Qufim dirt and there's suddenly a GD banshee hovering over me... we're both like... "WTF... SE hates us!!"

We're wondering how we're gonna RR me, when a PLD comes running thru... We're extatic... he RR's me and continues on his way to Jeuno but doesn't stick around to heal me... we look around and nothing seems to be dangerous, so I hit the "okay" ... suddenly over the mic I just start hearing my buddy laughing (rather maniacaly) and he says, "ur dead again... the Wight" ... sure enough... the stupid Wight wandered over right after the PLD passed him and makes me take another nose-dive.

I don't think I've ever died so many times in such a short span at such a low level.... it was simply amazing and my buddy (who got me hooked then quit) still crack up about it...

[Yygdrasil]

Re: Darwin Award/Jackass moments

LoL Neverslip....... epic lol....