A question for all the girl players out there.

[Angrykitten]

So I'm a newbie. I've only been playing for a few weeks and I'm pretty lucky because no sooner had I started, I met a great Link Shell with some really great people on it.

But last night when I was playing some of the guys in my linkshell started talking some really sleezy, sexist stuff amongst each other. I was feeling kinda uncomfortable and I thought to myself - hey, maybe they don't realise there are any girl players on the linkshell at the moment. So I asked them if they could please tone it down. I think a couple of them did but the rest pretty much ignored me. So I had no choice but to leave the ls.

I'm not sure I'll go back again now - I feel tainted. Do you think I should go back?

Has this every happened to any other girls? Are there any female only shells?

I'm keen to know if anyone has had any other similiar experiences.

[Callisto]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

1) There are no girls on the internet, not even you.

2) Truthfully, a lot of girls play FFXI, but a) a lot of guys pretending to be girls play FFXI, and b) a lot of girls intentionally don't go out of their way to let people know that they're girls playing FFXI. While I'm not saying it's right by any means, it's still a relatively male-dominated game, largely young(see: immature) males without much real female contact. Misogyny, sexism, and dirty talk sort of come with the territory.

You aren't likely to find an all-girl LS, especially with how hard it is to distinguish real girls on the internet. The best advice is if someone says something out of line, make use of your blacklist, you're by no means forced to sit and read it.
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Add: As far as whether or not to go back, if it's a good shell, don't let a couple of morons run you off from it. Bending to something like that won't get you anywhere in real life, and it won't really in fake life either. Toughen up, if they don't stop when you ask blacklist them or tell them they're fat ugly trolls who will never see the light of breasts, then blacklist them.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

Well I can say that the more you ask them not to say stuff like that around you, the more some of them will. Then you'll get angry and say some stuff and be labelled as a b***h. Trust me, it's happened to me. Make liberal use of the blist. Give the offender a /t asking him to stop and if he refuses or ignores you then give the leader of the shell a /t and let them know you are doing it. "Hi <insertnamehere> I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be blisting <insertnamehere>. I find what he's saying offensive and I've asked him privately to tone it down and he refuses." One of the reasons I say to do this is because if others have complained about him then maybe the leader will see he's not an asset to the shell and give him the boot. Another reason is, when you get to 75 and are doing endgame stuff, communication is extremely important, so blisting a fellow member can be a no-no. Let the leader know you are doing it so that they can either take care of the situation or know that you did it.

[Angrykitten]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

Bending to something like that won't get you anywhere in real life, and it won't really in fake life either.

You are so right in this. In real life I'd sort these boys out. If I worked with them, I'd have them sacked. If my boss talked like this around me, I take his arse to court, and if someone spoke like this around me in a pub, he'd be wearing his drink.

But as I'm just a newbie I'm not sure if the way they are behaving is common practice. Believe me I'm not gonna put up with this for long. I'm just trying to find out what kind of culture exists in this game before I step up and try to make things more female friendly round here.

them they're fat ugly trolls who will never see the light of breasts, then blacklist them.

I don't think I should have to resort to name calling to improve this situation. Even though it's probably true .... girls are more than likely mythical creatures to these guys. ;

[Telera]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

Well, even telling the leader doesn't always work. A LS I was in, one guy in it ran off nearly every female in the shell with his innuendos. The things he said to them were actually skirting close enough to sexual harassment to get him banned, had anyone bothered to call a GM down on it.

When he turned his sights on me, I privately asked the leader to do something about it. But since he was leader's good buddy and everyone thought he was 'just joking' no one did jack shit.

Long story short, all the women and even a large chunk of the men who weren't friends with this guy left, because even the guys thought he went entirely OTT. And that LS died.

So if you ask them to stop and they don't, blist. If the leader gets rid of them, good, if not, eh. If the rest of the gang is nice, blist is the best option. If they're by and large *all* misogynistic asshats, find a new LS. I got sick of the pervy attitudes of most people, so I just made my own and screen people very carefully before I ever gave them a pearl.

And also kick anyone should they suddenly turn into a/an: Elitist. Perv. General asshat.

[Angrykitten]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

then blacklist them

Make liberal use of the blist.

So how does the black list work? If I black list someone does that mean whatever they say in the ls won't show up on my screen?

[Telera]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

Nothing they say, emote, or tell can ever be seen by you again. It's a beautiful feature.

[Angrykitten]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

Awesome! I'm gonna make good use of it from now on.

[Omniblast]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

If people have that type of attitude on Team Fortress 2 on our server, we do the following:

Publically Warn the player to stop doing so.
Kick player.
Ban player.

(Even sexual harassment isn't allowed verbally in our servers. We are very people friendly. It doesn't matter what gender or sex, as long as you can play with a good attitude.)

Some sprays are bad and pornographic and we don't allow those either, in which case, we warn and remove the spray. If it continues we would kick, then ban them as well.

If the ban's not enough for 1 server, we ususally grab and screen shot or condump of what they said and request a server wide ban, meaning all of our servers will no longer allow them to join and play. They can then contest the ban, if they want. If any of our Advisors or Leaders feel they could come back as a 2nd chance opportunity to amend for their sins.

Then again, that is TF2, not FFXI. How I wish I had SM_ADMIN on FFXI some times.





To AngryKitten: It takes a while to find a good LS. That's why they allow you to have multiple ones. Good luck to you trying to find a good one.

[Alinys]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

Yes, I've had similar issues. Most of them are easy to ignore, but in an LS it's a bit annoying. I had a bunch of the guys in my alt's LS making very sexist remarks, and one was blatantly sexist and rude to his girlfriend while she was there. Most of the time it's playful and light-hearted enough for me to retort and forget about it, but some can get annoying.

What I think is worse is that a lot of females I've met in-game think it's attractive to call themselves 'the Linkshell sex-retary'...That sort of thing just gets on my nerves.

I don't think a female LS would be particularly necessary but I'm sure there are a few out there.

[MrMageo]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

there is girls on the interwebs?

(jk)

I think its terrible how guys flock to a girl on the game and harrass them into oblivion. But can you blame the little creepos, locked away in their dungeons most of the day deprived of human contact, thank god I am married or I might have been the same way.

[Alinys]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

To be honest, I really think we should be past that by now. Working in a gaming centre, I get the same weird treatment every day. I really would've thought that by now guys would have accepted females play games.

[Feenicks]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

To be honest, I really think we should be past that by now. Working in a gaming centre, I get the same weird treatment every day. I really would've thought that by now guys would have accepted females play games.

In only a few short years? Acceptance doesn't happen overnight, unfortunately.

[Feba]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

thank god I am married or I might have been the same way.

You? An idiotic, annoying little troll?

Why, I just don't see it.

[Ayrlie]

Re: A question for all the girl players out there.

sleezy, suggestive stuff on a linkshell is nothing new. If that happens, simply unequip your linkshell for a while or log out.