Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

[Mandy]

Just a little bit of background info... I've been playing the game on and off since release, most recently returning about 3 months ago, I guess... Before, I played a lot of DD jobs, so this time I decided to mess around with mages more.

I am now RDM 52, and really loving what the job can do. I'm having a lot of fun soloing and doing campaign / besieged. Until recently, I was having fun in parties, too.

I would blindly take invites from pretty much anyone, but it was never fun to get there and realize that I would be enfeebling, refreshing 4-6 members, AND main healing, and fights would take much too long. And then, quite often, being called a noob because my MP can't handle all of that.

I haven't put up my flag for a few days now, because I've had a few bad experiences like that in such a short time... But I still get /tells from random people who get mad at me when I say "No thanks" after asking the party config. Just a few minutes ago, had a DRK ask if I wanted a party, I asked what jobs, said I didn't feel like refreshing that many people (I was having fun in campaign, anyway), and his response was, "Good, I don't need an amateur slowing me down."

???

Sometimes, I just don't feel like fixing broken parties. I never had this problem on DD jobs, and I guess it's understandable... But do these people think being rude to mages will make them want to party?

Is this just bad luck, or is it what to expect from now until 75 and beyond?

Side-note: I have met a lot of REALLY nice players, too, and play besieged with them, do quests with them, whatever... But there's pretty much no way I can XP with them. I remember the kind players, but knowing they're around doesn't help with the bad mood I get into when I'm treated like crap by strangers. >.>

[Tipsy]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

Welcome to life.

[Ameroth]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

Thing is, especially as a RDM, people tend to forget you are playing a video game to have fun. Oh too many people get oh too offended when you don't want to be their little bitch and do as they say. Anyone being rude to you because you decline their party invite (which you are 100% allowed to do at your discretion) is just proving even more how right you are in turning them down. When you are a highly sought after job like RDM, you get the option of picking what invites you want to take, as opposed to say, a DRK, who may want to just take any invite that comes their way.

SE put a blacklist in the game for a reason. Use and move on. This game is too fun to let a few douchebags ruin it for you.

[The Mauva Syndicate]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

HA - try mid levels on BRD

NO, I cannot Main Heal, enfeeb, dispel AND sing different songs for the Tank, the DD's AND the Mages all AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

No, when I get that {Party} {Do you need it} I ALWAYS ask where?prt config?

I think many have said it on here - the strategies that work for endgame/Meripo are NOT the strategies that should be employed at lower levels but the sheep do it to pieces. Yes I know a 75BRD/37WHM can do all those things - IM NOT THERE YET!!!!

[Duncan Idaho]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

I've met my fair share of ppl that want to tell me how to do my job....or else. My usual response is "<I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well> <thank you> for <party> <goodbye>"

I can accept constructive criticism, but to be just plain rude defies the reason I play the game. The result-- I am a much stronger soloist now.

[Ameroth]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

I think many have said it on here - the strategies that work for endgame/Meripo are NOT the strategies that should be employed at lower levels but the sheep do it to pieces. Yes I know a 75BRD/37WHM can do all those things - IM NOT THERE YET!!!!

This is all too common in the lower levels now. People are pushing the envelope, and while I can enjoy playing new tactics and strategies, some leaders straight out just apply level 75 mechanics to lowbie parties and it simply does not work. Having no tank and a single mage at level 35 makes exp/hour much lower than it could have been had the leader just waited for the right jobs to assemble a party.

[Mandy]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

I don't mean to offend people by declining their party invites, though. It's simply a matter of me having more fun doing what I'm doing, and just don't feel like being a refresh bot at that time... But it seems like I'm making a LOT of enemies, and this is not the only job I want to level. I am also trying to level some much less desirable jobs, and I don't want to make enemies on my desirable job that will screw up invites on my undesirable jobs.

I have no hard feelings towards these people, until they provoke me. But I have no idea how to make "No thanks" any less offensive.

But I guess this will fix it: /anon

And campaign all the way to 75. Do people still do skillup parties?


EDIT: Just want to explain that I do enjoy good parties. I don't mind main healing. I will remove harmful statuses as quickly as possible, and will refresh / haste / enfeeble. I am a good player, I have decent gear, and I will give my undivided attention to my party. But I won't sacrifice my fun and put up with jerks just to get to 75.

[Tipsy]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

It IS important to know:

Jerks will always exist.
Don't let them discourage you and don't let a few bad experiences stop you from enjoying the game. I can assure you, if you continue playing, you will encounter the worst forms of personalities you can imagine. However, you will also encounter the best.

Choose which will have a bigger impact on you, because, things like this will happen on a daily basis. Just don't forget, a little kindness goes a long way, even to those who aren't kind to you.

[Mandy]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

Don't let them discourage you

Easier said than done >.< You're right, I know that, but it's still frustrating.

I hope the past few days have just been bad luck. I really don't *want* to solo to 75.

Thank you all. Sorry about the rant.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

Wouldn't worry too much about ranting hun. You obviously haven't read many of my posts yet. (Check the pet peeve thread, lol.) If we didn't come here to vent we'd probably take it out on the people we're partying with, and that gets you a reputation.

Screw the people who are being jerks. The game is about having fun and if you're not having fun it's not worth it to play. (I should take my own advice!) But seriously, you can accept/decline any invite you choose. That is why people (in most cases) ask if you wish to party with them first. Even if you're the only healer. Tough shit for them, I guess.

I know how it feels to have to refresh a lot of people, and at that level it's really hard keeping up a full haste and refresh cycle without running out of MP. You have to choose whether or not to refresh DRKs or give them haste, and many DRKs will get pissy about that, even when you explan that you really just don't have the MP to do both. I've been there. :/ It does get better, I promise. Depending on what you're fighting, you might not even have to cast every enfeeble you have. As you get into the mid-50's you'll be fighting Lesser Colibri, and they're so freaking squishy there's really no need to enfeeble them at all, which does indeed make your job a bit easier.

All I can say is hang in there. People are sometimes jerks just to be jerks. Best advice: make your own parties. You can control what DDs you get so that you're not doing a crazy haste/refresh cycle.

Well that's my take. Good luck!

[Aries Black]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

Thats the life of a Red Mage. Once you get higher up around TP burn levels, instead of having to refresh a lot of people, its having to haste a lot of people and refresh yourself.

And yes, a lot of people do tend to get emo when someone that doesn't have their flag up turn down a PT. Just Blist and move on. /shrug

[Ellipses]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

But I have no idea how to make "No thanks" any less offensive.

I'm not trying to advocate that you bend over for anybody or anything, but just to address this specifically.

Just take a moment to acknowledge their perspective. Something as simple as "I'm sorry, I know it's really frustrating when you need a healer/refresher. I just don't have the energy for it right now, I hope you find someone."

A simple "No thanks" will always seem rude from someone else's perspective when they see themselves working hard to get something going. Even "I'm not up to it" won't fix that because it's a statement about your priorities, not theirs. If you want a more positive reaction, do something to make them feel important and that you understand where they're coming from.

This won't work on everyone, some people are simply jerks. But it's a fair shot at working on someone who's just trying to get a party going and is frustrated by not finding the last missing piece. Manipulating others to your advantage begins with seeing things from their perspective. How would you want to be turned down by your eighth RDM in a row after five nights of no parties, just a few hours from your next level and that next sweet piece of gear?

[Olorin401]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

Ya know.. when I was levelling the first time through I had similar problems with rude players, though it was more profound (i.e. they'd come to a lv40 camp on lv75 jobs and steal all the mobs because the drops were valuable, and because 'hey we're lv75 and we're leet - we can do what we want')

When I finally reached lv75 they wondered why I would constantly treat them with such disrespect, as if they were Altana's gift to the world. And the nonsense got more intense and, unfortunately, reached into real life.

And now I'm in a well-respected endgame group that treats most newer and less-experienced players kindly and tries to mentor them, and I see these same rude idiots who can barely do anything because they're too busy insulting people to accomplish anything. And it gives me a hearty karmic chuckle.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

Having no tank and a single mage at level 35 makes exp/hour much lower than it could have been had the leader just waited for the right jobs to assemble a party.

Was just leveling sam to 40 and from 20 on, I was the frickin tank and we'd usually only have one healer. Those 20 levels were.......challanging to say the least.

As everyone here has suggested, the blist is your friend. Politely tell someone that you don't feel up to partying with them and if they get sassy, blist. It is hard to get a more traditional party at all anymore. Everyone thinks some type of burn pt is the way to go...even if it doesn't work at that level or with that configuration.

[Callisto]

Re: Meeting a lot of rude players... Just bad luck?

The blist may be your friend, but it is a fickle friend. You are only allotted 100 spaces, and there are definitely more than 100 morons on any given server. After capping mine, I asked a GM if there was some sort of Gobblist quest I could do for more slots and he said no.