Social LS drama, plz halp

[Ziero]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

As the leader of a long time social shell (4 years this nov) and someone who's dealt with unneeded "drama" from time to time, the best advice I can give is that your leader grow some balls, kick some ass and call out these backstabbers for what they are.

It's painfully obvious that "Brown dude" is excessively biased and against the original leader. He wants the original leader gone and is going about it through the use of fancy words, exaggerated problems and back talking. If as you said before, there were so many people who felt this was a problem, they should have taken it to their entire shell first before sneaking around going one by one looking for support.

And as a leader, exploding on an LS member who ignores you is not a sign of mental instability, it's a sign of having a backbone to stick to your decisions and end stuff before it begins. I've done it before and I'll do it again if I have to. For as much as you try to be a democratic LS, sometimes one person has to make and enforce the decisions to keep the shell safe, secure and healthy. It certainly doesn't look like the leader wants to step down, it looks like he's being convinvced to step down. And Brown Dude is doing that part.

It's an obvious coup d'état, some people want power in the shell and are pushing out the old leaders, Shell and Sack holders alike, to obtain it. I wouldn't trust anyone pushing for the change, they have agendas they're not releasing to everyone and if they take control the LS will be altered irreparibly.

[Kitalrez]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

Orange claims to be impartial, but he's obviously got an agenda running in the background.

What matters is the survival of the linkshell. If you can't decide who'll be the leader, just elect a body of individuals and play a weekly game of hot-potato with the shell.

Is it Orange or Brown? I think it's supposed to be Brown for the arbitrator. I agree either way. I think you might want to white wash the area you're recoloring in the future before you colorize it. Purple comes off as almost a maroon on my screen, for a min there I thought you were going for a neon pink or something.

Yeah, I question Brown. His motives are suspect from the moment he started talking. A truly impartial mediator would've at least let all the current leadership know what was going on and that they were the legitimate mediator rather than announcing it to the guild first. He also immediately branded you "conservative" and the other side "liberal". These are clearly not loaded terms in the least... especially not in today's America. A poly sci major would know better than that. I notice also that he's taking sides later on down. He's not talking to you outside of the board, but he's got lots of conversations with Black linked there. Seems like there's a deal being worked.

On the note of Poly Sci... why did he trot out his degree? Did it serve any purpose there? The bigger words thing is probably not intentional, sadly a lot of academics talk that way. You learn to mimic the people you write for, which tend to be other academics. The degree is different. Poly Sci isn't necessarily a mediation degree, though it can have classes in that. Poly Sci + law student leads me to believe that he might be heading for political office with his law degree, too. Which is not uncommon. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about:

http://www.ffxionline.com/forums/gen...unt-theft.html

Ok, about halfway down in the first page is my response. You'll notice that 'kitten and Kailea have both disagreed with me to the point of flaming me over it. Now, I could've easily trotted out my degree here. My degree is an MA in Communication. I specialized in Critical Cultural Studies (ding ding), Critical Whiteness Studies (irrelevant), and Discourse Analysis with New Media emphasis (we have a winner). My BA was in Interpersonal Comm, (studying how individuals interact with each other, yes my Comm. department was that freakin' large, we actually had 15 specialties). I'm starting law studies in the middle of next month. 'kitten knows this, as you'll see in his flame. But, what would my degrees or attempted degrees add to this discussion? If I trot that stuff out, all I'm doing to that discussion is turning it into a flame war where I'm smarter than "these morons" on the other side. They probably aren't morons, at least I hope not. I do consider them wrong, because they haven't read Howard Rheingold's The Virtual Community. I have, I had to study it for what was then going to be my master's thesis. I know that they're both wrong, that the game is a community just as these boards are a community. We don't just talk about things relevant to this game at this time. There's bread and mixed drink recipes being shared, and big hint: You actually care about the opinions and feelings of others. In your LS you even know the leader has mental problems. That's not game stuff anymore. "It's just a game," is complete crap now.

However, if I dropped that bomb into the discussion, what would it add? You're dead wrong and I can prove it. Ok, then what? Bottom line there, the people who agreed with me for what I posted will probably still agree with me. The same people who agree with 'kitten or Kailea will agree with them. I would've just barfed up 12 pages of useless text for nothing. That's why I didn't even bother posting that I was a law student in my response.


Go back to your "Arbitrator" now. The very first time he gets attacked he trots out the degree to silence you. What's it get him? Does it even add anything? I read it as him trying to smash you with his big brain. Doesn't work, so he falls back on trying to hold a middle ground. He isn't holding that middle ground at all, though, is he? The more of your links I read, the more he looks like he's taking Black's side. Hell, he even comes out and says so at the end. If you're mediating a conflict, at least doing it properly, you don't give a rat's ass where it ends up. Getting to the point where people aren't fighting anymore and are at least satisfied they've been heard properly is the result you're going for. He's got an outcome he'd like to have happen. That's pretty crappy mediation.

I'd at the very least ask for a new arbitrator. Also, force Isahn/Blue to actually discuss the issue with the sackholders/longtime members in an alliance or something. No Black, no Brown, no one else, just you guys. If you guys listen to him and still come to the conclusion that this was a good idea, that's one thing. It's another if it's foced on you like this seems to be.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

How does yelling at people and telling them to take the drama out of ls chat = emotionally unstable? Any good leader would tell people to take that shit to tells.

It's stupid drama, IMO, but drama nonetheless. I only read about half of your spoiler tags (because Orange kind of pissed me off by calling your leader unstable), but from what I've read you guys want to remain a group, and if you're not a mission/dynamis/salvage/HNM/etc. shell, who cares who's in charge?

[Mog]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

It's hard to believe there's this much drama over a social linkshell. < .> What's there to fight over? Who can get the most help from 75 jobs? God forbid these guys join actual endgame shells.

Easy solution- Break the linkshell and make a new one. Problem solved.

[Ziero]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

Honestly, I'd dump Orange/Brown/whatever and Black. Those two are working towards and agenda and the "mediator" is so clearly biased as to openly defame the leader in a situation where his job is to see and promote both sides. The leader didn't volunteer the vote to take place, Orange/Brown pushed him to do it.

He's a backhanded advisor taking advantage of the situation for his as of yet unknown goals.

[fallenintoshadows]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

In a previous shell of mine where two major people, the LS leader and one of the oldest/most respected players on the server/in the linkshell went head to head the LS split and people chose who they wanted to go with.


Sadly neither halves of the LS succeeded and they died in less than 6 months.
If the leader doesn't want to step down he could either do what my previous LS did at the chance of the new shell dying or just kick those pissing him off.

I'd go for the last option but I'm not good with my temper.

[Sariana]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

I'm the Yellow member, and like I said, I care less who is leading and more about having harmony in the shell. As I've told Black and the current leader, this is "much ado about nothing". I've been telling everyone to just let it blow over. I agree it's just a social shell.

I feel I may have contributed to the problem inadvertently because I recently led an LS group to Sea access, which could have made people look at things in a different light...

Also, for the record (at least how I took it) Brown was commenting on his Pol. Sci degree because the person right before him asked why he's able to type with such... elegant... speech.

I'm good friends with the heads of both sides, and so I've been talking to both of them. The LS leader has told me that he wants to step down so he can focus more on his personal life. Do I feel that a new leader is a necessity? No. But if he wants to step down, then that's fine as well. I agree that they should have told LS Leader what's up, and personally, I think the LS Leader should choose his successor. But all in all, I just want this shell to go back to being a happy group of friends. If people want to run events, that's fine and they can. But I don't want that to be the focus of the shell.

Though Black has told me that he doesn't intend to change it to a strictly event shell. But he does want it to be easier for people to find LS help when they need events.

I should close this up before I start rambling...

tldr version: Yellow here: who cares who leads, stop fighting guys.

[Aries Black]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

Personally, I'd just tell everyone to shut the **** up. And kick the people causing problems. It is a social shell after all. I have low tolerance over pointless drama. If someone wants to take over, then they can drop pearl, buy a new one and run that LS. And if he wants to take the members with him then so be it.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

Also, for the record (at least how I took it) Brown was commenting on his Pol. Sci degree because the person right before him asked why he's able to type with such... elegant... speech.

LS Member: You always use big words and talk so elegantly, why is that?

Member with Degree: I don't know, <insert number here> years of college I guess. Sorry if it offends you or makes you uncomfortable.

There handled without throwing degrees around like jerkoff. I know the way I speak comes off offensive at times and there's nothing I can do about...it's just me. I can apologize and say its from my "years of wisdom" (read that as old age lol) or my years in college but throwing around my education isn't necessary. It was unnecessary for him to do it also.

[Kitalrez]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

Yeah, as I think Grandmom is saying: there's a difference between owning up to something and beating people over the head with it.

[Nataka]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

If Black wants to change the linkshell for osmething else, MAKE A NEW ONE.

Geez, is it that difficult? He can give everyone a pearl int he current LS for event stuff and use the curernt for the social side. He's going to have to do that anyway since the leader pearl cant be moved from character to character.

On top of that, how is someone else leading the LS going to make it 'easier' for event stuff? That doesnt make any sense. It can happenw ithout a leadership change.

[SaikouOfFenrir]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

LS Member: You always use big words and talk so elegantly, why is that?

Member with Degree: I don't know, <insert number here> years of college I guess. Sorry if it offends you or makes you uncomfortable.

There handled without throwing degrees around like jerkoff. I know the way I speak comes off offensive at times and there's nothing I can do about...it's just me. I can apologize and say its from my "years of wisdom" (read that as old age lol) or my years in college but throwing around my education isn't necessary. It was unnecessary for him to do it also.

I've heard it said that by 20 you worry about what everybody thinks, that by 40 you don't care what anyone thinks, and by 60 you realize that what everyone else thought didn't matter anyway.

Despite me giving my thanks to DakAttack for his post, I do not agree with him that Saikou has his own agenda.

I have absolution from my good friend for my benevolent intentions. That, and nothing else said here to defame me, is what matters most to me.

If I had my druthers, I'd hand off the Arbitration role to Pink, as she is the heart and soul of the linkshell. She is also, along with Emp, one of the sackholders who was unavailable for comment at the time of screenshot 1.

This matter is essentially closed as we're all on speaking terms now, which is only hindered by time/availability differences.

[Vyuru]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

I've heard it said that by 20 you worry about what everybody thinks, that by 40 you don't care what anyone thinks, and by 60 you realize that what everyone else thought didn't matter anyway.

Guess it's just further proof that I was born old.

And no offense, but it seems odd to me that one of the other people would come in here and declare the topic closed instead of the OP.

[Empedocles]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

I haven't posted in a while because I wanted to see where the thread will go without any more input from myself. (I do that sometimes.. it's an odd quirk.)

I'm happy to say that I believe creating this thread has been a good thing for me, as the postings have help me straighten myself out of my rage and shown that I was wrong in fanning such drama.

As for the case closed, I think it's more of the current drama has finished and we are now on the aftermath, the cleaning up of the situation.

Most, if not all, the drama was between members that have known each other for years, so it's been quite bitter and now we are patching things up and are in real discussion instad of debating.


I thank you all (With the exception of Feba) sincerely for your posts regarding this trying time.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Social LS drama, plz halp

Closed.