Im at a loss

[Kookyboy]

I dont think my girlfriend wants me to play this game...in fact a lot of her jokes about me playing the game are bothering me. I dunno what to do..Im scared that when I get my buddy pass ill be hammered every 5 seconds with "jokes" till im forced to quit

[LadyKiKi]

Re: Im at a loss

Well that's very selfish of her, if my boyfriend did X activity I'll respect that and let him do it. It seems that she does not respect you and wants it all to be "her her her" leaving you no room.

I'm sorry, but you absolutely cannot convert people. You tell her that this is your hobby and that you enjoy it, if there's free time for yourself you will play it, but if you are to spend time with your girfriend then you cater to that.

Create a balance. Likewise, she'll need to do the same and you both need to respect each other's hobbies/time. Otherwise if you give in you'll find yourself more unhappy (because all you'll be doing is what she wants "us" (you and her) to do).

EDIT: Is it only this activity (FFXI) that she makes fun of you on? Or is it every activity/interest that you do (i.e. sports/TV). Otherwise, this isn't how a relationship should be like. I'm sure you don't make fun of her hobbies/interests.

[Feba]

Re: Im at a loss

I dont think my girlfriend wants me to play this game...

Tough?

If she's afraid you won't spend time with her, make it clear that isn't the case. If she has some sort of legitimate concern, deal with it. I doubt she's being an unreasonable bitch. Hell, her jokes might just be (audible gasp!) jokes.

In any case, a video game is not your problem here.

[DakAttack]

Re: Im at a loss

She's most likely getting an early start on the competition for your attention. Depending on how much stock she's put into the relationship the competition might be over before you know it. She needs to know what's more important to you.

[Ellipses]

Re: Im at a loss

Without knowing anything about you, your girlfriend, the history of your relationship, your respective living situations, emotional and mental stability, free time, preferences or peeves, my bullet-proof advice is this:

Lie. Constantly.

[Taskmage]

Re: Im at a loss

To elaborate on what Ellipses said, it's important that when you lie you don't try to weave your current lie together with all the other lies you've told in the past. Don't do the "tangled web" thing. Not only is it entirely too much effort, but eventually you're going to mess up and make an inconsistency, or she'll find evidence that contradicts the whole alternate reality you've been building and the whole thing comes down like a house of cards. She'll reject everything you've ever said out of hand and start building her own version of the entire history of your relationship, and guaranteed, you will not like your place in it.

Instead, start inconsistent and stay that way. Start off with some obvious lies intoned to sound like teasing, then reinforce that foundation with half-truths and honest truths made to sound like lies. When you've got her at the point where she's never sure if you're telling the truth or not or whether she should laugh or be angry, then you've basically got carte blanche to lie about whatever you want, however you want, because anything you say will be inconsistent with something else you said that she suspects is a lie, making her wonder if the new lie is the truth. If you get into trouble, you've got this whole primordial pool of possible truths that you and she can pick through to construct a worldview that will make your most recent bullshit sound downright virtuous in the context of something else that never happened.

And when that happens, when you're at the point that she's actively helping you to lie to her, you know you're in a happy, lifelong relationship.

[DakAttack]

Re: Im at a loss

Forget my advice, and lie.

[Taskmage]

Re: Im at a loss

On a serious note, it sounds like you don't know whether your girlfriend actually has anything wrong with the game, that she doesn't know it bothers you so much, and that neither of you have any idea how an MMO in your life might affect your relationship. Now, I realize that as someone who frequents an internet forum you may have developed an opinion of "communication" as a useless artifact of a bygone civilization, only used now to veil slights at eachothers sexual inadequacy, but you would be surprised how well it can work between two people who care enough about eachother to try not the be assholes to eachother. Talk to your girlfriend about what's bothering you, see if you can come to an understanding, and if she doesn't cooperate find a new girlfriend. Seriously.

[Ellipses]

Re: Im at a loss

, TM, lots and lots of .

[LyonheartLakshmi]

Re: Im at a loss

I dont think my girlfriend wants me to play this game...in fact a lot of her jokes about me playing the game are bothering me. I dunno what to do..Im scared that when I get my buddy pass ill be hammered every 5 seconds with "jokes" till im forced to quit

We're the wrong people to be talking to about this. You should be talking to your girlfriend.

If anything comes between you and your girlfriend, it won't be FFXI or any "jokes". It'll be the lack of communication.

[Callisto]

Re: Im at a loss

Correct. Although I will say the previous 2 girls I dated were extremely unfond of me playing FFXI, so I stopped playing for them taking several months off of the game. Those relationships went downhill for completely unrelated reasons, while single my playing obviously picked up heavily. When I started dating the current girl I live with now I basically said, "This is what I do with my time, it's what I enjoy and who I am, if there's a problem with that then this probably won't work."

She responded with something along the lines of "OH SHIT LOOK OUT DRAGON BEHIND YOU!!" then started playing herself 5 months later.

Moral of the story, don't make them completely mutually exclusive, and be up front with her. Tell her that's your hobby, it's fun to you, but you're still all hers, and if possible maybe try to get her involved in it. And regardless of what you do, when she comes in saying "Can we go out to dinner/movie/whatever tonight instead of you playing?" tell your LS you gotta go for the night, believe me they'll understand.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Im at a loss

Just tell her "I'm playing FFXI whether you like it or not..............and YES your ass does look fat in those jeans!"

[Callisto]

Re: Im at a loss

Just tell her "I'm playing FFXI whether you like it or not..............and YES your ass does look fat in those jeans!"

More proof that all women are by nature 100% evil.

[Taskmage]

Re: Im at a loss

Women = Time x Money
Time = Money => Women = Money x Money
Women = Money^2
Money = √Evil => Women = (√Evil)^2
Women = Evil

[Callisto]

Re: Im at a loss

Shit I'd sig that but mine is getting too big already ; ;