I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Heya, I currently call my home Ragnarok. I'v moved to Ifrit for 3 months a while back to get away from drama and memories. I thought I would stay there, but I missed my friends very much and ended up moving back. Things have been okay, I guess, but recently some issues have been coming up, and i'm rethinking about the whole server change.

The main issue that bugs me everyday is the fact that now days, people gladly accept help, but never offer it. I don't consider myself a saint or anything, but I help many people with missions and such things in shouts. Also, I found two people that have became good friends with me. I was out in the dunes PLing random PTs with my new pld af body, oh was I excited, hehe. I met these two, and after their PT, I helped them start getting their subjob items.

Now, we're the best of friends, one is coming back, and the other is a hardcore noob. Honestly, he asks the cutest questions and such. Anyways, this couple have brought me endless joy when around them. We've done much now, we have done mission ranks 1-5, advance job quests, avatars twice for fenir, and the fame for it all. I know theres more, but these are some examples of the time we've shared together.

Of course I have other friends, and one other couple that are very close to me. We go back alot. But they have been so busy with ls events and such.

I probobly wouldn't be posting this if I had a ls, but in reality, I always leave from social/hnmls because of the leaders actions, or the people in it. I'v thought about making one, but i'd rather do it later when my two noobs can join me from the start. I also know that if I had a ls, I wouldn't have much of a problem finding adventure and help.. but what can I say? I act out alot, i'm aware that I have many problems, but that's me, and I can't do anything about it.

So my two noobs have been gone for vacation, and I just sit and do nothing all day.. I know most of you would tell me to get a life, or something along the lines of that. In my own defence, I play video games to get me out of my life, it may not be the best thing to run away, but I have alot of problems in real life, like severe depression, bi-polar, and knee problems. They all add together, I can't do much without one or all of them effecting me some way or another. I hope to someday study in psycology so I can help myself with my problems instead of burdoning others.

So here I am, I have nothing to do. I recently finished CoP, what a bummer. It may sound odd, but I don't like finishing things, because then you can't do it anymore, no more surprises, you know? I can't even get people to join a assault, or hang out with other friends I have because they're busy.

I know some of you may say "You shouldn't expect help from others when you help them" or something like that.. But hell, call me a bad person then if you really want to, it's not like i'm spamming shouts and whining for everyone to see and look down upon me. That's what this place is for..!

But really, I need advice, what do I do? I know things wont be much differant on another server.. and i'd hate to leave my good friends behind again, and maybe permernantly, i'm sure my noobs would come but still.. I'm oh so confused.

I'm proboly answersing my question with all of this, and I know my questions isn't really stright forward but I would really like input, please.

I may be forgetting something.. iunno. We'll see, eh?
Shrayn

[ItazuraNhomango]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

FFXI isn't the solution to your problem--it only "helps" you to postpone facing them.

So, in truth, the game merely adds to your difficulty, not lessen it. Whether that's something you will be able to cope with or not, I'm unable to guess. You should worry about yourself instead of your friends. =/

[Feba]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Ita, Escapism isn't always a bad thing.

OP, if you can't find anyone to do anything with in FFXI, try playing a free MMO. At the very least, it gives you something you can do without relying on other people.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Thanks for responding guys.

IfritnoItazura, there isn't much to run from in my life besides the depression, so gaming is just a anti-depressant for myself. I take 150mg of zoloft.. but i'm thinking about trying something for my bi-polar.. because lately, it's not enough. How could I just put my friends aside? =( They're all I got..

Edit: And Feba, i'm pretty amazed you didn't reply with some kind of sarcasm or something.

Feba, i'v been playing Rappelz every now and then, it's pretty awsome for a free MMORPG, the grapics are nice. Theres just not story, or anything I guess.. It's just "Kill x many of these and these mobs, or fetch me this or that" kind of quests over and over and over x_x;

[Feba]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Edit: And Feba, i'm pretty amazed you didn't reply with some kind of sarcasm or something.

Don't get used to it.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Don't get used to it.

Thanks, I really needed a good laugh.

I don't mean that sarcasticly meaning I doubt your words.. >.>;

[Skoal]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

I can understand how you feel when you finally finish something then it sucks because its over. That happened to me with ToAU.

There is a lot to do on your own. You can level some lower jobs and collect beastmen seals and other loot. Do campaign battles and ops. First 3 missions of WOTG. Make sure you have all the Maws. Camp a few nms. Do some obscure quests that have silly rewards but either give cool titles or funky items.

I play this game by myself almost every time I log on. I have plenty of friends but since I don't have set playing times and may have to log off immediately, I just do most things by myself.

[DakAttack]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

It's easy to make friends in Campaign, espesially if you can heal or raise.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Server hopping isn't going to get you anywhere. It will just end up being the same old s**t on a different server. Probably not something you want to hear but sometimes the truth isn't what we are looking for. The only way you are going to achieve what you want is to change. Since you said....

I act out alot, i'm aware that I have many problems, but that's me, and I can't do anything about it.

I doubt that will happen. The hardest thing to do in life is to look in a mirror and truly see ourselves....faults and all. If you can't keep an ls because you don't get along with others...

I probobly wouldn't be posting this if I had a ls, but in reality, I always leave from social/hnmls because of the leaders actions, or the people in it.

...then until you can change that part of you, you will always run into the same issues no matter where you go. Good luck.

[Eiyoko]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

I have a somewhat similar story myself. People don't help me that much because they're all sucked into endgame. I'll never join an HNMLS because of it - what if someone needs my help and I can't give it? Besides, I don't have the time for stuff like that. People have also caused parties (EXP, Mission, whatever) I've been in to disband because they had Dynamis, HNMs, or other things. I don't intend to get into endgame because of that.

FFXI is a big game. There's more to just battling; try leveling a craft or a new job. If you're really worried, try to contact your friends and see if they're still around.

[Silent Howler]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

I'm sort of in the same boat, except I'm still pretty new so I haven't gone as far as some of your experiences yet. I do sometimes use FFXI to "get away" although lately I've been going through the opposite effect. This last week has been rough for me and I haven't signed in to FFXI at all yet. I don't know anything outside of the game that is in it, so I have to balance my time between the two.

[Telera]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Honest opinion: (beware, wall of text.)

1. I was on Ifrit, I know how that place is. Hell, if the planets all aligned, Pluto fell into the sun, pigs flew, and Hell froze all within 3 seconds of one another, I might come back to this game, but sure as hell not on Ifrit. There's *maybe* two people there I can still stand. Maybe.

2. People on this game are selfish. End of. In fact, people on most all games are selfish. There is nothing wrong with expecting a *little* recognition of your help in the form of a return. People try to make you feel that way from time to time, if only to cover their ass when all they really want to say is 'Fuck you, I got what I wanted, I don't care what you need.' When you find people who you help and who help you in return, that's a rare treasure.

Social LS? Bah. I've tossed so many of those. I've had *two* that I stayed in any real length of time, but in the end the members in both essentially pissed me off not so much with actions toward me, but their general attitude. Well, ok, the first one *was* actions toward me, as well as every other female in the LS. Safe to say, by the time that thing broke, every woman in it had tossed their pearl thanks to him, and yet the leader refused to kick the asshole. Why? Because he was his 'friend.'

The other pearl was mainly just annoyance at how the members wouldn't help anyone past the wearing off of the 'shiny new person in the LS' phase. Which was all of two weeks. After that, requests for help were generally met with 'Just go shout in Jeuno' or dead silence. With the exception of *one* member, who bent over backwards for just about anyone. Nice kid.

I can deal with people who are socially awkward (as long as they don't come across as sexually discriminatory asshats), but elitists, pervs, and people who never return favors pretty much ruin any linkshell for me eventually. IMO, building your own is best bet. I did that briefly until the entire main group of us told this game to take a long walk off a short pier.

I invited only people I talked to for at least two weeks on a regular basis. Anyone I found even vaguely annoying, or to have any elitist or asshole tendencies was skipped. It worked very well. Perfect calm, save for one misunderstanding on a non-game issue that turned into a heated debate. But it ended well enough.

Advice: Moving again costs money. Kind of a waste, as you said, people are generally the same everywhere. Wait on your friends, and in the meantime, find some free games. Or even offline ones. ^_^ Got a 360? I recommend Mass Effect very highly.

[Ameroth]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Start leveling a new job. Don't forget about your main, but find a new lowbie job that you find enjoyable and start leveling it.

1. This is a great way to spend loads of time in-game that allows you to accomplish something while helping others accomplish something.

2.a You're basically guaranteed to meet new people that could potentially become friends.

2.b You will probably find new linkshells to join.

3. You open up new gaming possibilities by having another job at certain levels (i.e. new BCNM, Mission, ballista, etc possibilities).

4. Conquest Points/beastman seals

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Besides that, Idk, FFXI is a pretty large game with lots o' lots o' stuff to do. But if you find yourself standing around in your MH for extended periods of time wondering what you should do, maybe take a small break. Buy a game you want to play and spend time getting through that. Come back to FFXI and see if it's improved.

Good luck.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Thanks, everyone. I think i'm going to lvl dnc for a sub and then continue with pup/dnc. I'll start farming more for my bonecraft. I'll chck around for some fun games too.

Thanks again everyone, I'll be around for sure.

[ItazuraNhomango]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

1. I was on Ifrit, I know how that place is. Hell, if the planets all aligned, Pluto fell into the sun, pigs flew, and Hell froze all within 3 seconds of one another, I might come back to this game, but sure as hell not on Ifrit. There's *maybe* two people there I can still stand. Maybe.

Even for a gross exaggeration, this is going a bit too far. -_-#

There are plenty of nice people on Ifrit; that you can't seem to find some to hang out with may speak more about you yourself than Ifrit in general.

That's my honest (if somewhat impolite) opinion. Ifrit is no paradise, but it's not that bad either.

Well, ok, the first one *was* actions toward me, as well as every other female in the LS. Safe to say, by the time that thing broke, every woman in it had tossed their pearl thanks to him,

lol. This sounds so much like Rabbi. I cheered in real life when he was kicked out my old LS, and again when he migrated to some other World.