I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

[TheGrandMom]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Imo, if you can't find a group of people on a server that you can be good friends with and do things with, then the issue is not the server. It's just hogwash when people say that an entire server full of people all suck for whatever reasons. Like I said before, sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is to look at yourself and admit your faults.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

TheGrandMom, I know my faults, but now what? :s

[Telera]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

I wouldn't go back to Ifrit because in my time there, I hadn't met that many people I'm just dying to go hang out with again. The ones that I would return for all got wise and quit. Acira, Miaa, Grimreaper, Valdir, Catilina, Sev went to Kujata. In fact most of my FL was perpetually 'offline' when I came back the second and final time. The two left on it are the two I speak of. There were plenty of amicable enough people, but by and large my experiences were negative. Hettar, Rabbi, Glaive (I don't like two faced people. At all.) an entire linkshell mocking me because I said I thought sex was special to me, emotionally, and not just 'lets get it over with'. Then turn around and beg me to powerlevel them in the next breath? I told them exactly where to go. I'm sorry, I must've mistaken them for adults who could exchange ideas freely without becoming grade schoolers, my bad. Not a mistake I will make again, let me assure you. If they want to act like teenies, I'll treat them that way.

This is why I want an offline FFXI. Or something set in Vana'diel. I don't want the drama of XI, but I want to waddle around as a Tarutaru, damnit. In a Santa Hat. And Jaggedy-Eared Jack must be there, because I *will* get that bastard to drop that charm one way or another.

lol. This sounds so much like Rabbi. I cheered in real life when he was kicked out my old LS, and again when he migrated to some other World.

It wasn't him, but he was one of the asses who was basically was causing constant drama in our LS back before Sev booted him. I'm talking about a little piss ant named Hettar. He had pissed everyone off to the point that the girls were ready to make a GM call for sexual harassment and still no booting was done. Half of the guys were even getting a bit fed up with him by the end. Then he up and quit, and yeah, I cheered irl.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Telera, I have a question. Why do you keep up on forums if you quit, well this goes to others too, I suppose. If there are things that still draw you to xi, you should come back, the third and last time, you could come to Ragnarok, we could have a blast with my nooblets.

[Telera]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Because I like talking to some of the people, here, mostly. I like to think of myself as... the random chick that always says something to piss someone off which usually makes things lively, if not uncomfortable. Not sure if that's something to be proud of though.

I never did hit cap and never was into giving actual game tips and hints, I just like the community here. It's one of the more calm communities on the net, across genres. I do like to keep an eye on the game, too.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

I see, but would you be up to comeing back? Just give it one more shot, I don't have much to offer, but i'm always willing to help.

[Ameroth]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

an entire linkshell mocking me because I said I thought sex was special to me, emotionally, and not just 'lets get it over with'. Then turn around and beg me to powerlevel them in the next breath? I told them exactly where to go. I'm sorry, I must've mistaken them for adults who could exchange ideas freely without becoming grade schoolers, my bad. Not a mistake I will make again, let me assure you. If they want to act like teenies, I'll treat them that way.

Personally, I couldn't give two hoots about what anyone feels about love/sex/etc. But if someone feels the need to dish all about it in an online game and then expect everyone to completely agree and/or be civil they're be naive. Social linkshells are just fine, but pretending everyone on your LS is a personal friend whom you can spill you're real life to is the real cause for issues like this. Don't want people to talk about your personal life? Don't give them something to talk about.

I don't want to say you're to blame or anything for bad experiences on a server, but I don't want to say that everyone else is to blame.

[Telera]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Actually, it was a linkshell discussion on the topic. One of the other girls had brought it up, and had said something similar to what I had, and they had basically done the same to her. She went quiet, went back to farming. (She and I were communicating in /tell at the time as well, trying to set up an avatar run.) I tried to interject in support of her view, same result.

It wasn't a spilling of real life anything. I wouldn't talk about anything 'real' per se, on XI. Unless it was a close friend like Acira or Grim, but not the whole LS. Especially not one I hadn't been in long. It was a group wide discussion on casual vs. non vs. whatever else. Except they were approaching anyone with a different view like a bunch of pre-pubes.

I don't like people who can't debate maturely is the problem. And they were incapable. If people are mature and reasonable in debate, even if I don't agree, I can respect them. I rather enjoy mature, intelligent debate, on just about any topic. But they shouldn't be carrying on the pretense of a serious group debate if they aren't capable of hearing out another side.

And then they better not expect said other side to help them while they go /wrist cuz their Dunes party is failing. No respect = no help. Respect = I'll do everything in my power for you.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Agreed, theres alot of differant kinds of people on XI, and alot of them think they can do whatever they want because nobody can do anything about it, and it's true. I wouldn't loose faith in everyone though, like myself. I havn't had a ls for the past 3 years because of the immature people in it, and other things, but just a few people I call friends keep me going.

Come to Ragnarok, Telera, preez? I promise you won't regret it. I sure could use another friend.

[Telera]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Haha, oh, I didn't lose faith in the whole server. It's just you know, that whole one rotten apple thing. XD

The real reason I lost most interest was that my boyfriend, and then most of my 'core' friends slowly quit. It's not the same without the people you started with around, yanno? I still had a few, but then they get in endgame and they get so busy you can't just go screw around like before.

Or at least they seem to think so. I never did wanna do endgame. Awful lot of demands on your time for something that's supposed to be a game and recreation.

But nah, I don't wanna come back. 1. Can't really afford it, hours cut coming up 2. It's just really lost its luster once my boyfriend quit playing. Besides, he and I play LotR together now, so it kind of eats up my MMO time.

I do wish you luck though, in getting your newbies back. XD I loved having newbies to adopt. I had one a long time ago, but she outlevelled me eventually. I was proud. :p I tried to adopt another, but he up and vanished one day. o.o Poor Galka.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

TheGrandMom, I know my faults, but now what? :s

You've already said "I can't do anything about it" so you've already defeated yourself. I think you know what you need to do but just don't want to. Remember this, there are no shortcuts in life; the hardest path is always the right path. It may take longer than you like and you may have to do things you don't want to do, but in the end the reward is sweet and worth every step.

[Shrayn_lolsam]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Well Mom, is it alright if I call you mom? You see, I don't know the next step to take, if there even is one. That's why I said I can't do anything about it.

[tuggler]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Shrayn,

I'm not going to advise you what to do in RL about your RL situation, but I think I have a few suggestions for you in-game:

You originally made your friends by PL'ing a random party and it seems you really enjoyed helping them. If you were helping them you were probably organising most of the things you did together (I mean reading up how-to's etc, then guiding them through them). To me it sounds like it makes you an ideal chat LS leader. Why don't you do that?

Get your friends in, go PL more randoms in the Dunes, get them into your LS, go through missions and quests with them, engender a "helping" philosphy into all its members. Before you know it, you'll be organising LS exp parties, more mission runs, ra/ex item runs, quests. Even though you've completed CoP you might find it fun doing it all over again with new people.

[Jekk]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Seems like you just want real friends on FFXI, and not just people who only talk to you to ask for help?
You should stay on that server, wait for those 2 friends, and make more friends. I know it might be weird, but just talk to random people. Maybe comment on their nice gear or how they have the same job as you. You're likely to eventually run into someone with a personality you like. You just might have a few people finding you weird for randomly talking to them. ^^ haha.

Edit:

I forgot to add, it looks like you enjoy helping others and are having some LS issues. Maybe start an LS with your soon to come friends and make it one that deals with helping others? It might be a good way to meet other kind people.

[Icemage]

Re: I seek some advice (long story to read :x)

Generally speaking, the people I see complain most about being alone in FFXI or any other MMORPG are alone because they act in such a way that they drive others away.

I have seen many friends come and go in this game, and am always happy to see them or lend a hand, but I never expect anything from them - and neither should you. If the friends you have aren't the type to recognize when you need some support and offer it without you asking, then you need to find new friends and/or change your ways so as to attract the sort of friends that you want.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but this is what I've seen after years of playing this game. It happens without fail. You surround yourself with the people who can tolerate you. If you're one of those people who isn't easy to get along with, particularly for the smaller minority of what I'd call "nice" players, then yes, you're going to feel like you're surrounded by people who just don't care - because they don't.


Icemage