Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

[Arris]

No but seriously my parents are having a problem with my brother. He won't stop playing FFXI. The thing is he's 21 and hasn't really worked a job since he graduated HS. He's had 3 jobs since 2004 and all of them lasted a week or two. He says he too "tired to work" or that they did something he didn't like. But then he can play FFXI for about 11hrs a day. And get up and do it all over again the next day.

He'll give you the silent treatment if you tell him to get a job. He's even giving my mom the silent treatment too. My mom doesn't want him to become a junkie so she won't kick him out and she's tired of fighting with him. But I'm tired of my mom struggling to pay for him and my other disabled brother and father. He doesn't do anything but complain, eat, and play FFXI. Seriously what can be done?

[shiningfate]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

It sounds like your brother needs an intervention since he seems to have an addiction to FFXI, or possibly other issues that are causing the addiction, but something like that should done with a psychiatrist. He needs professional help. Good luck with helping him get straightened out.

[Kailea]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

No but seriously my parents are having a problem with my brother. He won't stop playing FFXI. The thing is he's 21 and hasn't really worked a job since he graduated HS. He's had 3 jobs since 2004 and all of them lasted a week or two. He says he too "tired to work" or that they did something he didn't like. But then he can play FFXI for about 11hrs a day. And get up and do it all over again the next day.
He'll give you the silent treatment if you tell him to get a job. He's even giving my mom the silent treatment too. My mom doesn't want him to become a junkie so she won't kick him out and she's tired of fighting with him. But I'm tired of my mom struggling to pay for him and my other disabled brother and father. He doesn't do anything but complain, eat, and play FFXI. Seriously what can be done?

if he has no job, how is he paying for FFXI? if its his mother, get her to stop -.-

that or take the PC, or PS2 he is using. He seems to have gotten out of hand, and drastic measures need to be taken..... heck have you tried smacking him?

[Arris]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

if he has no job, how is he paying for FFXI? if its his mother, get her to stop -.-
that or take the PC, or PS2 he is using. He seems to have gotten out of hand, and drastic measures need to be taken..... heck have you tried smacking him?

He saves the money from the jobs he had. The last one he had was a few months ago. Thats why I think he works for like a week or two just to pay for FFXI. He plays on the ps2 but it's kinda hard to take that away from a 21 year old especailly because he bought it too. I'ma strangle him...and be on the news for murder lol j/k.

[Ziero]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

Professional help, he sounds like he has an addictive personality. If it wasn't FFXI it'd prolly be something else. But nothing good ever comes from any addiction.

So yea, I'm sure Doc Phil would help.

[Kailea]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

Professional help, he sounds like he has an addictive personality. If it wasn't FFXI it'd prolly be something else. But nothing good ever comes from any addiction.
So yea, I'm sure Doc Phil would help.

just what we need though, an MMORPG to be on Dr Phil.... please dont use that guy -.-

[Shadowneko]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

just kill the router...it works on my sister.

Then again I use a Wi-fi brideg on my PS2 and I can just steal that to make her stop playing!

[Raydeus]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

It's a tough one, he does need a good kick in the teeth to make him react, but if he is as inmature as he seems to be then all he would do is turn to something else (probably much worse) to replace his current addiction.

Professional help is required, there's no doubt about it.

[Irisjir Callard]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

just kill the router...it works on my sister.
Then again I use a Wi-fi brideg on my PS2 and I can just steal that to make her stop playing!

That was exactly what I was going to suggest. Cutting off of the internets does a pretty god job of breaking the FFXI habit. Also, it's always available for him to get his own monthly internet service...but then he has to pay for it...which should gently segue him into getting a job.




As far as being afraid the kid's going to turn into a junkie...sounds like he already has. Maybe he needs to be shown what life is like on the streets. He probably has no real conceptualization of cost of living these days. Gods know I didn't until I moved out on my own.





Oh yeah, I almost forgot. One creative technique I saw used on a FFXI addict:

The router was programmed to re-assign IP addresses every 15-20 minutes. Every time IP is reassigned, FFXI stalls and disconnects. The process happens fast enough that it rarely interferes with email and web browsing, but it really kills FFXI when five of every twenty minutes are spent timing out. PT's generally kick you after four DC's, soloing becomes ridiculously dangerous, bit by bit the game shrinks.

I don't know the exact process to how the sysadmin did it, but I can definitely ask him for you. ^_^

[Murphie]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

I'm not sure I understand. If your 21 year old brother won't get a job and spends all day playing FFIX, then why haven't your parents told him that he has to move out?

It's easy to not work and play video games all day when you don't have to pay for rent and utilities.

[eticket109]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

1) Have one parent take him out for lunch.
2) Have the other change the locks and put his stuff on the porch.

[Murphie]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

1) Have one parent take him out for lunch.
2) Have the other change the locks and put his stuff on the porch.

For serious. He's 21 years old, people.

[Raydeus]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

The thing is they don't want to just toss the problem out.

It is true that being out there without his parents babysitting him could make him understand, but it could also go the other way. And the family cares about him so they wont just tell him "see ya" and throw him out.

Professional help is required, if they really want to help him.

[Aksannyi]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

I'm going to play Dr. Phil for a minute here:

"You see, what you and your parents have become are enablers. You allow him to continue this behavior, and he allows you to allow him. You need to stop letting him lead this destructive life. Now I'm not saying kick him out, but you need to set a concrete date for him to be out of there, living on his own and working so that he can stop freeloading and work for a living!"

(cue applause)

****

Yeah I watch too much TV sometimes.

[Murphie]

Re: Need some help! Should I call Dr. Phil?lol

The thing is they don't want to just toss the problem out.

It is true that being out there without his parents babysitting him could make him understand, but it could also go the other way. And the family cares about him so they wont just tell him "see ya" and throw him out.

Professional help is required, if they really want to help him.

See, I think going for professional help is just an attempt to deny that they are actually the ones responsible for this behavior. As Aksannyi pointed out, they are enabling him to act like this. They don't need a professional to tell them that not setting boundaries for their son while he lives under their roof is allowing him to do as he pleases, and not take responsibility for himself.

Kicking him out is probably a bit harsh, but saying "If you don't have a job by [Date], you're going to have to find another place to live." is pretty reasonable. I mean, he's basically freeloading, with the exception of a few times a year where he makes a halfhearted attempt at employment, because the lack of consequences has taught him that that's all the effort he has to put forth.