Have you ever declined a friend list request?

[Chveya]

Last night I was exping my BLM46 with my semi-static in Quicksand Caves. There was a complete dearth of people lfp, so we decided to take on a RDM with a gimped sub. He was RDM45/BLM20 (he said he didn't have WHM leveled either; wtf ><). This guy had no idea how to play his job. Our party tried to be as kind and helpful as possible by explaining what a RDM should do, but he was either a complete moron or was just outright stubborn. In my static ls, we were of course griping about what a noob he was, but because there was no one else ask to party, we just slogged through. He refreshed me less than five times in two hours of partying, but was spamming it on our SMN and WHM constantly, before it even wore. He rested for MP once in the session (when he had 31 mp left and didn't want to Convert for some ungodly reason), just resting between battles could have helped the flow of exp but no! The entire time, our party is trying to hint at ways he could be more helpful and efficient, usually met with silence or reassurance from him that he knew what he was doing. I'm sending him tells like: >> Use Convert between battles if you don't want to rest ^^ or: >> I'll take care of elemental enfeebs please ^^ (he was overwriting my casts). I figured he hated me so I didn't even bother asking for the refreshes.

The above paragraph was basically a vent (and it was only the tip of the iceberg, didn't want to bore you all more than I have already -_-; ), I needed to get it out! Onto the topic:
Near the end of the night, he started asking me if he knew me from somewhere. I said no. I get a tell saying "Can I add you to my friend's list?" I was so not expecting that! I can't believe I said yes. >< I'll be deleting him today, but I couldn't bring myself to say no to a friend list request, something deep in my unconscious must have been worried about hurt feelings or rejection. The WHM in my static had already blisted him, but he also asked my hubby (PLD in static) who is ignoring the request. I'm such a wuss.

So, how can I let them down gently, assuming this will happen again someday? Have you ever outright rejected a friends list request and were you a total jerk about it? ^^

[Icemage]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

Reject the friend list request. There's no reason to cater to people who are that clueless. If you accept it, they have the ability to see where you are for all eternity.


Icemage

[Sabaron]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

Well, I know I've added a few people to my FL.... only one of them ever uses FL. Some of the people on my FL simply wanted to use me for informational purposes while levelling Alchemy, but none have ever done so. One was supposed to do a test on some Riot Grenades and tell me how they perform since no one on DIV answered my post, but he never got back to me either. One person was someone I helped get a Magicked Skull for and ended up a member of our LS--haven't seen him in a while though--of course I sort of took a sabbatical from FFXI and played FFV and Seiken Densetsu III (LD Duran/LL Kevin/LD Hawk), so he could've left and I'd never have known (all I did for about a month was raise my chocobo and grow Trees/Wildgrass). The only really useful FL add I have is my brother's. He's the only one who uses it.

I refuse all FL adds now b/c the feature is basically vestigial considering the power of the LS though it has its occasional uses.

Something else... the only person to request an FL add since my new policy was very upset about it though I can't think of a reason why.

[Theyaden]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

Something else... the only person to request an FL add since my new policy was very upset about it though I can't think of a reason why.

Some people don't handle rejection well. ^..^

In seriousness I occasionally chat with people in my friends list if I'm bored. Also I occasionally get tells from people in the list. I've found sometimes it helps me when I'm pting with someone and think they seem familiar so I check the friends list. Usually this triggers my memory enough to remember where I first met them. Reminds me it's a small world sometimes and passes time while farming/crafting. Also if in a pt it's always re-assuring to see a person or 2 from your friends list since those are people you already get along with.

Edit: I did accidently sent a friend invite to someone I was trying to ask if he wanted to join a pt once. Never got an answer to that one and I got to wear the noob hat for a day /blush.

[Humar]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

well i have never been asked by someone that has not been so smart or freindly so its all good for me....i do have several people on my FL but i very rarely use it... i have only used it once and i had asked one of my dads friends to help me get to the dunes for the first time....other thatn that i just talk with or have my linkshell help me with things like the magicked skull...

[Jei]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

If it's not from your friend, just reject it. That Rdm definitely is not a friend of yours.
I'd even blist him just so I don't forget the name.

[Mirall]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

On Siren, I've never had to reject a friend request, but on the condition that it came out of no where, like a random request, I probly would.

[Desideratum]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

I would decline in the instance the OP mentioned, but as a general rule, I never turn one down in good faith.

I do eventually delete people from my list if we never talk again though.

[Thrasher]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

I have declined them on a few occasions mostly due to unnamed players trying to get a little too friendly with my Mithra.

Here's a secret

Mithras are guys, and your a friggen moron for not asking first.

To bad none of them were rich err...........I mean move along nothing to see here.

[Desideratum]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

I used to play a mithra. I had that a lot too. It was very very creepy.

[Jugil]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

Just say no.

Personally, I've had situations where I'd go help a random person, and then they would ask to add me to their friends list. I used to accept those, but 90% of the time, these people try to use you for your kindness. These were people who would never talk to me unless they needed something.

Now, when someone does that, I just say no thank you.

[Nakti]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

I did a drive-by Cure and Protect for a newbie and after they examined me, they sent me a Friend List request. oy ><

So I declined and sent a /tell saying "I'm sorry, but I've already got too many people on my Friends List already." I got no response so I don't even know whether they spoke English.

Almost all the people on my FL are LS member-friends. I'll occasionally exchange befriends with someone if I've enjoyed talking with them a bit (usually happens when we're both passing the time fishing).

It's ok to say "no". If you want, just give a reasonable excuse/reason. If the other person won't accept it, then /blist them, vent a bit to your in-game friends and go do something fun.

[Asir]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

I've declined a few of them over the years; mostly from jerks. I also rarely neglect my friend's list because I like to chatter away with people while I'm doing stuff and end up in a lot of silent parties. I've met a lot of people that just use it to leech help off others and those people usually get deleted quickly. I wonder if the people on my list think I'm weird because I rarely ask for help.

[Chveya]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

I have over a dozen people on my Friends List, half of whom I talk to on a regular basis. Most are LS friends, but a few are cool people who I met exping or fishing. I'm not against the idea of a friends list, and I certainly don't find it useless. ^^

I deleted the RDM from my list last night and I hope to never encounter him again. I've never gotten a request out of the blue like his, that's why I found it disconcerting. He probably was going to leech off me or something (and by god does he need help but I'm not the one who's gonna give it to him).

[Aeolus]

Re: Have you ever declined a friend list request?

I always accept friendlist requests cause Im too nice Not too nice too Ignore/Delete on POL before logging off tho so they think Im always offline