If ffxi was real

[Hamlet]

I thought this would be a fun post to import from RMTkhazam for you ffxionliners to have fun with.

What would happen if ffxi was real?

Here's my responses so far:

- There would be alot of chocobo turds on the streets.

- Midgets would finally get the respect they deserve because of their high intellgence and magic power.

- Sending a /tell would cost you 10 cents per use.

- Finally guys could watch a girl in the shower without getting agro (a lawsuit) by applying powder to their bodies.

- It would be considered sexy if a girl has hair all over her body... and a tail.

- A rice dumpling said to have the face of Jesus on it would sell at the auction house for 30 million gil.

- If you really want to get ahead in life, you need to beat the crap out of a senior citizen.

In response to someone's "All of you nerds would be inside your mog houses playing video game"

I gave the following scenario

- "Dood, come out of your mog house, let's get some xp! Quit playing rl and live ffxi!"

"Nah guys, I can't xp tonight. I've only got 7 more years until I hit middle management. I'm trying to get livable retirement pension by next week. Also, I'm camping the coffee shop for a few hours to see if the cute artsy girl shows up."

"Man, don't you know ffxi > rl???"

and, as a follow up:

Cutegirlprolifbix pops at a bar

Hamlet uses Hardtoget on Cutegirlprolifbix. Hardtoget takes a long time to cast.

Sefffiroth uses buttslap on Cutegirlprolifbix. Cutegirlprolifbix turns to Sefffiroth and laughs. Her name turns purple.

Hamlet pops his cellphone out and sends a 10c ls message "@#%^ing Sefffiroth beat me to claim again on Cutegirlprolifbix"

linkshell- "Hamlet, you really need to level jock to have access to a-hole approach JAs like buttslap and putdown if you're ever going to claim it."

What would the world be like if ffxi was real?

[Irisjir Callard]

Re: If ffxi was real

Oil prices would drop, austrialian Crystal would be worth more than diamonds.

Men would wax their legs.

"Customer Service" would be REVOLUTIONIZED.

"Sir...I have a problem with your product..."
"FIRAGA XXVI!!"
"oh god the skin it melts..."

[Tirrock]

Re: If ffxi was real

The first things I thought of were that either everybody would live forever, assuming they didn't die in a cutscene. Or that most of the world's population would die by stabbing themselves on their sword while attempting to slaughter a rabbit.

Not being able to hit the broad side of a barn would be perfectly acceptable. As we all know, the bigger it is, the harder it is to hit.

[Kadenmire]

Re: If ffxi was real

The Goblins would start their own mafia and dirty officials would pay them to knock off their rivals.

[Fayttt]

Re: If ffxi was real

There'd have to be a fridge on AH for my mog mouse.

[Mog]

Re: If ffxi was real

Well, the airports would be replaced by Airship ports, which I have no problem with...

/flies the airship to John F Kennedy port

/takes the chocobo to port 12069

/can't find port 12069

x.x

[Kailea]

Re: If ffxi was real

If FFXI was real?..... I would not need video games.. and I would be alot more fit ^.^

[Mog]

Re: If ffxi was real

If FFXI was real?..... I would not need video games.. and I would be alot more fit ^.^

If only life were as fun as ff11.....the only fun I have in rl is meeting ladies and getting blitzed. huzzah!

[the quiet fox]

Re: If ffxi was real

If FFXI were real, I would be seven feet tall, formidably built, and be able to magically cure people's wounds. AND I'd have a tail.

...So Square is working on this, correct? >.>

[Caspian]

Re: If ffxi was real

Yes, you can sign up for the gene manipulation and nerve tissue augmentation on the POL website. Be warned though, the "mistakes" end up becoming Fetid Fleshes.

[Mhurron]

Re: If ffxi was real

Yes, you can sign up for the gene manipulation and nerve tissue augmentation on the POL website. Be warned though, the "mistakes" end up becoming Fetid Fleshes.

So what you're saying is a lot of video game players wouldn't see a difference.

If FFXI was real I'd never leave my house. It's way to dangerous out there.

[Caspian]

Re: If ffxi was real

So what you're saying is a lot of video game players wouldn't see a difference.

If FFXI was real I'd never leave my house. It's way to dangerous out there.

Lol.
And agreed. Gnats the size of foreign cars and these weird little red guys with lots of teeth and floating swords over their heads is a little frightening.

[Lilani]

Re: If ffxi was real

If FFXI were real then I'd have chocobo instead of a cat.

Automations would be available for five easy payments of $19.95

Booster seats would come in three sizes: child, Taru, and child Taru

People would constantly be dissapearing from cities like New York, right after seeing some dumb meatball hovering next to their head.

Telling your parents you want to be an adventurer when you grow up just might be taken seriously (yes, I know that was a very dumb one).

[sevenpointflaw]

Re: If ffxi was real

If FFXI were real... I'm not sure how I'd take it... on the one hand, you never really die. Unless you're in a cutscene. Then it could suck.

On the other hand... I really like peperoni pizza and cheap crappy hamburgers. I'm not sure I could stand eating mushrooms, glace, and pies for the rest of my life.

Horseback riding is pretty bad. I'm not sure my behind particularly cares for chocobos either. I mean, it starts to hurt if I sit still at my computer too long, to say nothing of bouncing up and down.

[Caspian]

Re: If ffxi was real

You do get lots of tacos and steaks though.
You get used to riding animals too. Part to remember is to wear tight underpants if you're male. And subligars take care of that.
However, I've seen several bar type places in Vanadiel, but don't require any alcohol being available on the AH. This whole thing could end before it even starts.