My own husband blacklisted me -.-

[Kirk]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

Wow, this whole thing is amazing. If you two normally communicate with FU's and such, I would suggest you seek some marital counseling. Your spouse is supposed to be respected above all else, even in arguments. Use of language like that to each other will diminish that respect. Then when you add kids to the mix, eesh. Keep it up and expect to hear them telling you to FU next.

Anyway back to the SC LOL. I'm sorry, but I totally agree with your husband. What a bunch of whiny n00bs to get upset over getting cursed on some rinky dink key hunt. People in my LS would have laughed at that. Heck we even laugh when someone does Call for Help on HNM's.

[Argenthart]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

I am sad that you and your husband had a fight and that he blacklisted you. It sounds like you two are pretty confrontational, but that’s cool, I like everything out in the open myself.



I play this game with my oldest daughter, son, and wife. Playing with family members can be a lot fun, but it can also lead to conflicts just like in the real world.



This game can get pretty frustrating, like when I fail several synths in a row and waste thousands of gil, or a stupid orc spawns behind me in a difficult battle. I occasionally swear and shout at the game developers.



I also suffer from a rare congenital disease (which has gotten worse with my advanced age) that makes me compulsively give advice, so:

From the data you provided, it appears that your husband over reacted to the situation. I think, however, that you perhaps fed into his anger.

I think Lyonheart is correct; telling somebody to calm down is a bad strategy. Give them a melted cheese sandwich instead (distraction works better than confrontation).

Having my wife apparently take the side of others would probably add to my anger, even if I was wrong. I know logically that this makes no sence, but it is how I would feel.

Personally, I would prefer it if a personal conflict (especially between family members) was kept private. I don’t know how your husband would feel about this, but I would feel pretty embarrased to know that the incident was public knowledge.

Using words like "no way" makes it harder to compromise and work together later (which you know you will want to do).


Feel free to ignore my advise! All opinions offered are worth what you paid for them.



By the way, anybody who says that FFXI is only a game is in a state of deep denial.

[Omni]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

Wow, this whole thing is amazing. If you two normally communicate with FU's and such, I would suggest you seek some marital counseling. Your spouse is supposed to be respected above all else, even in arguments. Use of language like that to each other will diminish that respect. Then when you add kids to the mix, eesh. Keep it up and expect to hear them telling you to FU next.

Anyway back to the SC LOL. I'm sorry, but I totally agree with your husband. What a bunch of whiny n00bs to get upset over getting cursed on some rinky dink key hunt. People in my LS would have laughed at that. Heck we even laugh when someone does Call for Help on HNM's.

i'm not sure how many and how significant your relationships have been but this sorta thing really isnt uncommon in a relationship where you are 100% comfortable with the other person. the whole respect line goes out the window when you have become so comfortable with someone that it's uncomfortable when they dont act honest and candid with you.

i think some people are taking this way too seriously than it really is. if a relationship and marriage is going to be about formalities and courteous gestures 24/7, maybe its not really that great of a relationship to begin with. if you cant act like a fool, be an asshole, show weakness infront of the person that's most special to you, who else are you supposed to open up to?

taru edit: who cares about curse really? i mean, cursna anyone? better yet, divine seal + cursna?

[WishMaster3K]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

He was a 52 DRK. Maybe he got fed up with how much his job sucks >.>

[Raydeus]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

Hehehe this is a funny thread.

"oh man this curse" <--- funniest thing I've read today


OP if you are fighting undead sooner or later you are gonna get Cursed, so bitching about a missed SC and a Curse is very, very lame. Also, if the people in that party were that efficient they would've brought holy water if they knew they were fighting undead with no Cursna.

Maybe it was your husband's fault the messed up SC but I would've warped too just because of all the noobish complains.





PS> It worries me seeing people talking about a divorce just because a couple had an argument about a game, it really shows how stable american families are these day

[Kirk]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

i'm not sure how many and how significant your relationships have been but this sorta thing really isnt uncommon in a relationship where you are 100% comfortable with the other person. the whole respect line goes out the window when you have become so comfortable with someone that it's uncomfortable when they dont act honest and candid with you.

i think some people are taking this way too seriously than it really is. if a relationship and marriage is going to be about formalities and courteous gestures 24/7, maybe its not really that great of a relationship to begin with. if you cant act like a fool, be an asshole, show weakness infront of the person that's most special to you, who else are you supposed to open up to?

:

Having lack of basic respect has nothing to do with openess. Unfortunaly you are right and people in relationships do commonly communicate with each other like this, but its not very healthy. You can be mad and open and not resort to viscious personal attacks--if you are mature enough. I've never told my wife to F-Off or FU and i've been pretty mad at her believe me. You can ask any marriage counselor whats the most important thing in a marriage or any relationship for that matter and the answer will be healthy and effective communication. Slinging curses at each other is far from that.

[Aries Black]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

...Wow, how sad is your life when u post things like this on a gaming forum? lol If u have a kid and other responsibilities, take care of those and quit playing. Cause obviously a child is a lot more important than...whats this....fighting over a skillchain?

Excuse me what did you just say? Your saying that just because she's a parent she shouldn't play? Heh. How about when your a parent? Are you going to stop playing? I highly doubt it. So next time you make a comment about parenting and gaming think first.

I have a daughter that is 9 months old and I enjoy being a mother and I enjoy playing FFXI. Just because I have other responsibilties isn't going to stop me from enjoying a game.

[TenTako]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

...Wow, how sad is your life when u post things like this on a gaming forum? lol If u have a kid and other responsibilities, take care of those and quit playing. Cause obviously a child is a lot more important than...whats this....fighting over a skillchain?

you win deeman. lol..

[Rodin]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

you win deeman. lol..

lol, it's funny seeing 15 year olds talking to one another.

You guys need to grow up. Being a parent, while very time consuming, doesn't mean you have to give up things you like doing, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE DOING THEM IN THE SAME HOUSE AS THE CHILD.

Also, here's something you guys probably didn't know. An infant sleeps an average of 18 hours a day. Seems like that would give her ample time to play FFXI. When her child wakes up, then she'll say to her party or whatever, "Baby woke up, brb." The child will go back to sleep, pending a change of diapers. And she can be back to her party in 10minutes or so.


Anyways, not to mean any disrespect Askyanni, but this is exactly the reason why I'm studying psychology. I know marriages are riddled with problems, but I just don't understand why people would get so pent up and mad at eachother over some game. I could understand if your husband has been playing for 30+ hours straight, and you want attention, but for this example, it's just stupid IMO. I think that you and your husband really need to apologize to eachother, and just get it over with, because if you guys DO get a divorce over this, you'll most likely never live it down when you realize what the hell you got a divorce for.

[Kittyneko]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

Lol... all over FFXI. Some love there.

[Omni]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

Having lack of basic respect has nothing to do with openess. Unfortunaly you are right and people in relationships do commonly communicate with each other like this, but its not very healthy. You can be mad and open and not resort to viscious personal attacks--if you are mature enough. I've never told my wife to F-Off or FU and i've been pretty mad at her believe me. You can ask any marriage counselor whats the most important thing in a marriage or any relationship for that matter and the answer will be healthy and effective communication. Slinging curses at each other is far from that.

but the thing is, i think these words, and which ever words it may be are being taken too seriously. its not really a curse, saying FU to some guy that cuts in front of you on the freeway is a different kind of FU when you tell your wife to back off. I do agree it's not the most beautiful way to put things but I feel its not a curse in that sense.

yes, communication is the key to a good relationship. i think honesty is also. whos to say F-Off isnt a effective and honest way to put things? i think it is. i honestly dont think its the harbinger of a bad relationship nor a fire starter. i personally dont talk that way normally to my gf but at times ive given her the blunt, honest to God truth about things. it doesnt come out pretty but sometimes, people dont really listen till you really lay it out for them. i think sugar coating too many things just ends up covering problems more so than resolving them.

anyhow, its sorta off topic i suppose. but im sure OP has a great realationship with her husband and all is great and forgotten by now.

[Macht]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

I'm surprised this thread had been allowed to continue even after a Moderator basically told people they had little right to judge or advice actions when we really know very little about the situation. All we got is a little background story and a picture, if that was enough to be considered incriminating evidence or proof of behavior because of a single incident then many jails should be a heck of a lot more crammed then they are now.

If anyone ever actually payed attention to their Grandparents during times when they don't notice others around the two can snip and bite at eachother like you wouldn't believe. It doesn't mean they hate eachother. Even in health ed classes one of the things they mention is that it is not wierd if a couple goes from calling eachother 'snookums' and 'honeybear' to something like 'lazyf tard' and 'analb****'.

The context to watch for is how they treat eachother in general not just a single silly stupid incident. I mean damn out of a joking nature I have some nicks I've made for my friends not all of them are flattering and when choosen to use is thought in nature of knowing the friend will perceive in good nature. So really stop with this advice it was a single incident and people are tearing apart even single small statements and selectively choosing what you want to perceive. If it does continue I suggest that the thread should be closed by the next Moderator to notice it, because it isn't quite a healthy path some of the posts here have taken.


Now with all that said in responce to the OP. I have to say I think that is HILLARIOUS!

To blist you because of a missed skillchain, it's something me and my friends have done eachother. Not all the time, just when are joking around and find a good opportunity for it. Though we are always joking around so a situation for that to come up happens often, lol should hear the stuff we leave on eachother's voice mail if one of us doesn't respond after a certain length of time.

He was definatly being childish, but hey what guy can you find (when they are truely being themselves) are not chidlish to some degree? He sounds very much like the 'baby' husbands some of my female friends have married. Sit back for a second and realize just how silly it was for him to do that and tell me that you didn't his babyish nature to be cute to you. That it wasn't even the slightest bit cute, seriously this isn't something I wouldn't dwell on so much.

If you got more then one incidence though with these things occuring recently then you might have something more to look at. Just this silly little thing though I wouldn't worry about it any.

[Aeni]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

OP if you are fighting undead sooner or later you are gonna get Cursed, so bitching about a missed SC and a Curse is very, very lame. Also, if the people in that party were that efficient they would've brought holy water if they knew they were fighting undead with no Cursna.

QFT

Those nasty ghosties in Kuftal spam Cursna like it's going out of style. Once, we had 3 WHMs in a skill PT (6 ppl) trying to get their Hexastrike. Took a ghost and we got cursed no less than 7 times for that one fight (3 DV + Cursna wasn't enough, apparently, LOL)

[Yashin]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

What did you marry a 12 year old? Thats just fucking pathetic. I would devorce him ASAP if he has the balls to say that bullshit to you.

"you are such a stupid ass julia, seriously dont talk to me b list" I dont care what the hell you say that shits not love...Thats mental illness...How he has the balls to say that to his WIFE over a GAME is just pathetic.

[Aksannyi]

Re: My own husband blacklisted me -.-

Wow, everyone, I totally did not intend to incite a flame war, nor did I come here for marital advice. Really, this whole thing is qutie funny to me, that my own husband could actually b-list me.

Once more, on the "F*** you's" ... we tease each other, we say dumb things. "You're doing it wrong." "No, I'm not." "Yes you are, dummy" "FU man!" And usually it ends in laughter because we can get silly like that.

My husband and I are not going to get a divorce. Never did I mention anywhere that we would be. Whoever brought that up, stop. And everyone else please stop saying things like that, too. We're fine. He already removed me from his list.

Also, thanks to the people sticking up for me because I (OMG!) play a game and have a kid. (Two, actually.) If my entire existence in this life were "wife" and "mom," I think I'd kill myself. Not that I don't love my family, mind you, but just that you can't only define yourself by things in such a way.

Anyway, it's over. My husband and I are FINE. I repeat, my husband and I are FINE. It was just something I thought I'd share because I thought it was funny! I didn't mean to spark a huge debate about why married people who argue should get divorced or some stupid crap.

So seriously, everyone, LIGHTEN UP. And I hate to sound like a bitch, but please stop giving me marital advice. That's not what I came here for. I came to share a story that I thought was funny, and you guys ran it in a totally opposite direction. Please just leave it as it is, lighthearted story of a silly argument.