When to leave your PT?

[little ninja]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Also, try to talk to your sister about this. Tell her that she needs to let you know 5 mins beforehand that she is going to want the tv. Barter with her if you have to. Tell her something/give her something/do something for her or whatever it takes to give you the little bit of time to finish a fight. You could also try including her when she starts saying she wants the tv. Tell her "hey check this out! wanna see me do something cool?" or tell her someone in the pt is going to do something cool. Get her to watch the rest of the fight and talk to her while its going on and explain what people are doing, names of abilities, etc. That might keep her quiet long enough for you to finish the fight and say goodbye without a lot of whining from her.

you sneaky old lady you.... thats so freakin awesome. lmao =P

[Djonma]

Re: When to leave your PT?

It's a very difficult situation.
It's not too bad in the dunes, or even up to Altepa.

But when you've FINALLY got a party post level 50 and suddenly one member has to go and there's no one else looking so you have to disband, it can be really infuriating.

As mentioned above there are 2 things to do.
Explain to your party from the start that if you're told to logoff, you have to logoff.
Most people will be happy once you've explained it.

Set up times for being on ff with your parents and your sister.
My little brother and I used to have set times we could use the computer.
This is the best way of doing it; your parents will see you're trying to be responsible, your sister will get to use the tv and won't be upset, and you'll know exactly how long you have online.

Good luck!

[keneko]

Re: When to leave your PT?

i sympathies, im 23 and due to lack of work in my area im still at home with my parents (gonna changes soon job interveiw this friday :D) but the amount of times they asked me to do something that could wait, but cause they thing i can puase the game, reguardless how many times i explain i cant, they expect me go do their request there and then -.-

[ikkleste]

Re: When to leave your PT?

We had this back in the day... even before online games.

Me and my little bro used to share a computer (an amiga 500+).

We played vary different games in different ways. He'd want to play for 30 mins then go do something else, then come back 30 mins later. I however would want longer to play a game. Many games in those days were arcade style games without saves, some of which could take a long time to play, i used to play and play a game until i completed it. so if i was playing a game which i was good at, that took a long time to play from start to finish i could be on there for two hours. But that was the only way i could play. Sometimes the arguments/fights got pretty vicious (but that was always the way between me and my bro, we're thick as theives now though ^^). My parents always saw it as we should take turns each. They couldn't grasp that for me to make use of my turn it would have to 2hrs. In the end we had to compremise, i talked to my parents (it was easier to get a rational discussion going with them), during a time not immediately following an argument (you just won't get a rational discussion then), and explained to them the situation (in my case that it could take me two hours to do what i want to do and i had to do it in one session, in your case that other people are depending on you) and we struck a deal that we'd go turns each but they would be two hour turns instead.

Talk to your parents about it. But do it at a sensible time, not just after you've been booted off. Try not to whine, or blame your sis. Explain that you understand that she wants to use the telly too. But that you'd appreciate a little notice at least of when you're gonna have to log off. If it's necessary show them how the game works, that you are working with other real people and you build relationships and reputation in the game. Maybe enquire about you getting a telly of your own (i'm sure a small portable would do if it allowed you to play uninterupted, and they will be dirt cheap) you could get it with allowance/wages if you work or as a gift on your next birthday. That'd depend on your parents though. It might just be that you'll have to compremise and make do with five mins notice.

Whatever happens it's worth sorting now while things are simpler, in the dunes. Later it takes more time setting up a party and getting to a camp and people will be getting annoyed if you just log and disappear. You'll start ending up on /blists. People won't appreciate you logging out mid pull, or midfight as death gets more brutal at higher levels. I'd be upset with someone who just yoinked them selves out because "sorry sister is being a pain, i gotta log". My feeling would be if you don't have time to participate don't commit to a party.

The alternate is taking up bst. It's less commitment intesive, as you are only relying on your self, and maybe one or two other bsts who won't miss you too much if you have to go suddenly. You can still play with others in events, while your sister is out or something.

Thats another thing to consider, if you go on in the game as you are, people will be very irritated if you pull that sorta thing on a misson fight or BCNM. Many things like this require a full group and quite often an initial outlay too. People will get upset if they waste their entire evening getting a prommy run sorted farming animas only to have you log during the boss fight and wipe the party.

My advice sort it out now.

[avhmia]

Re: When to leave your PT?

I have to agree that you should definitely talk to your parents. They don't understand the game, but that's only lack of exposure. Have a good sit down with them and lay it out on the table.

Something like...

Mom, Dad, I know there has been a lot of tension in the house lately with me playing my game. I know that I spend a lot of my time playing, but I try to do so at convenient times, and always after I have completed my homework and chores [which, of course, you do, right? ]. I want you to know that if there is ever an emergency, there is no question that I will immediately abandon the game. You are my family and you are simply More Important. FFXI isn't like most video games. It is very similar to a pick-up game of any kind of team sport. The people I play with will always understand if I have to leave quickly-- and of course, I would never even consider putting either of you, or Darling Little Belinda, off to play. When I hesitate to log off, it is only because I do try so very hard to be polite and courteous to other people. If I were playing a pick-up game of basketball, it would be unforgivably rude to simply walk away from the court while the ball was in play. It is the same in FFXI. The "plays" in that game are battles that last just a few minutes. All I ask is just those few minutes to end the play and tell my team that I am leaving.

Then, do as TheGrandMom suggests. Talk to D.L.B. and make arrangements with her. You'll make your life ever so much simpler. :D

[Spungy]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Solution: Buy a 13" tv for like $50 and put it in your room with the xbox hooked up.

[Kailea]

Re: When to leave your PT?

i sympathies, im 23 and due to lack of work in my area im still at home with my parents (gonna changes soon job interveiw this friday :D) but the amount of times they asked me to do something that could wait, but cause they thing i can puase the game, reguardless how many times i explain i cant, they expect me go do their request there and then -.-

heh I am in the same boat... 22 and my job makes nice money but not enuff to move out right now... and I am asked to do things, but one day I called my parents in and explained to them about the game, and how I can just leave, now they understand when I say "holdon I have to finish this fight first" heh :p

[SMc2]

Re: When to leave your PT?

boggles my mind how people play MMOs, or any videogame, in single PC/TV households, especially with siblings.

I remember back before I built my own PC, I used "the family PC" to play Starcraft over battlenet. My rating took such a beating from all the times I had to surrender so I could quit the game. It was always the stupidest things too. My personal favourite, "Turn off that game and spend some time with the family." I was in the dining room, they were in the living room, we were 20 feet apart, and by "spending time" my mother ment, "watch the Biography channel with us." /dieofboredom

after I graduated college I finally built my own pc in my room. out of sight, out of mind. Now i split an apartment with 2 roomies. getting dishes done is like pulling teeth but no one ever bothers me MMOing.

sometimes, when IRL gets in the way, you just need to fill people in as quickly and accurately as possible.

"Guys, my father is holding the powercord to my Xbox. I'm logging out now, one way or another."


Spungy:
Solution: Buy a 13" tv for like $50 and put it in your room with the xbox hooked up.

And some glasses, really, really strong glasses.

[Davitron3000]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Any rate, Real life > FFXI.

This is all you really need to remember. Now I don't think you should just
randomly log out on people, but if something serious comes up in real life,
just forget about the video game. People can make experience back or
replace a person and keep playing. It is not the end of the world.
Sometimes people take the game too seriously...

On the other hand, if you have to do this a lot (log out suddenly) you would
probably need to work something out. Maybe block out extended periods of
times when you can play and don't group with others when you aren't sure
you can play for a long time. Nobody wants to be known as the guy who
leaves his party hanging.

[Asir]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Family aggro can be a problem when no one but you in the house plays the game. It can be worse though when you got two other people in your house that play and only one copy of the game since your comp isn't suited for games.

As both a parent and a gamer, I have to agree with those that said work something out with your family members. Let your family members know ahead of time when you plan on doing something time consuming like certain missions, quests, nm hunting, etc. Let them know that on the days you are doing that, you will spend the time doing the mission/quest/whatever then log off when you have achieved your goal for family time.

In the case of exp parties, tell your party right away that you have family aggro and need to go immediately after the fight. Most parents (not all) will let you get away with saying "Let me finish this one fight and I'll be off" kind of thing.

I am a bit jealous of the OP, I never get family aggro when I'm in an exp party. Only when I sit down to a nice crafting/questing/fishing session does my family decide to interfere with my block of time.

[Lonerwolf]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Just beat up your sister and tell her the next time she makes you turn off your xbox360 because she wants to watch tv you will crack her head open. ^^

[Jkid]

Re: When to leave your PT?

A better idea is to play during nightfall or weekend nights, when your family is not awake. I often play until 3am due to the fact that I don't play FFXI much.

[Nakti]

Re: When to leave your PT?

To be honest, I can't think of any occasion where flaming is the correct response. Of course, I'm very annoyed if someone is suddenly leaving a PT especially during a "bad" time (like a link). But I won't flame them.

There have been some great ideas presented.

Here are mine which overlap some of the others:

1) Use proper grammar/spelling even in PTs when you can. I understand that "net-speak" is faster and that might be all you can manage when time is limited, but your goal is to present yourself as more mature. You'll get more slack for having to leave suddenly.

2) Let your PT know at the beginning of the PT session that you may have to leave at a moment's notice due to real-life issues. You may or may not want to explain what those real-life issues are. Leaving constantly is a no-no unless your PT is ok with it from the start. If you have to leave suddenly more than twice, I recommend you say goodbye to the PT, help look for a replacement if you can, and log back in after all your RL duties are done.

3) Be aware of your parents' and sister's time-tables. If your sister watches the same show every day at the same time, then it's no surprise that she'll start begging for the TV then (not that that's what happened in your case). If you know your mom is going out shopping, you probably know about how long it will be before she gets back. etc. Schedule your playing time accordingly.

4) Most parents won't understand needing to give your PT at least 15 minutes notice before leaving. Heck, I'm married and old enough to have children legally playing FFXI and my mom *still* thinks I'm "going through a phase" by playing this game. So the best you can do is be more mature and responsible around the house. Negotiate with your parents. It may work, it may not. But at least you'll have tried.

5) Even the best laid plans often go awry. So if they do and you suddenly have to leave anyway, just explain as maturely as you can. And if it's a REAL emergency (fire, injury) then just type "<call> SOS!!", pull the data cable, and deal with the emergency. Later on you or a friend can send them /tells (you noted their names at the beginning of the PT, right?) and/or explain on a forum what happened. If they don't understand, then they're probably not worth playing with. Real life *is* more important than FFXI.

[Shiyume]

Re: When to leave your PT?

My dad barely understands the internet, or computers in general. He also hates them, so if he needs something, my PT isn't of any consequence to him. Luckily, my schedule allows for me to do all my PTing after 11. This makes for late nights and an effed up sleeping schedule, but it avoids me having to leave or even just AFK suddenly, especially given that I'm a whm.

This isn't a viable option for everyone, it really is just better to explain to your parents that there are other people playing the game and that you need at least a couple of minutes before they can leave, and that you don't want to be impolite because even over the internet, they're still people. Hopefully they'll understand.

[Atma]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Well that's an easy question to answer.
When you feel like it.

[...]

Politeness is over-rated anyways.

So, what's it like knowing that you will never see likely never see level 40, let alone level 50?

To the original poster:

The first thing you must understand, and make your parents understand, is that FFXI is not a casual game. At high levels, it is not uncommon to spend upwards of an hour simply forming a party, let alone getting to your campsite and killing stuff. If you cannot devote 4 or 5 consecutive hours to a play session, you are highly unlikely to ever achieve anything of signifigance in this game. This isn't "OMG I'll logz on and do some questz and get teh levels" game like WoW. This is a hardcore, "sit in the same spot for 5 hours and grind till your eyes bleed and everything you ever loved is dead" game.

Example: In the dunes (The ULTIMATE embodiment of everything that is wrong with newbies), you will often spend 3-4 hours hopping parties, getting 800xp, then having the party break cause 2 people suddenly leave, generally this behavior is preceeded by "Level Up" graphic and the words "Omg got to go goodnight".

In the same level range, say 14-19, 6 people who are used to how this game is played at high levels can assemble in bastok, go down into korroloka tunnel, and grind out 5 levels in 4 hours. No one leaving the party till it's generally accepted by a majority of the party that it's time to break. This behavior is virtually always preceeded by the words "What's everyone's TNL?" and killing a few more monsters if anyone is extremely close.

Everyone always asks "Why don't more people go to Korroloka if the XP is so amazing there?". The answer is simple. Trying to get 6 players who are not veterans of the game to potentially wait up for up to a whole hour

Yes, most people will understand an emergency situation. An emergency is "oh my god, <x> just went to the hospital", or "oh no, my house is on fire". Mom or Dad saying you can't play anymore is not an emergency. You need to have a discussion with your parents, sooner rather then later, about how 1) This is a game that cannot be paused. It happens real-time, and 2) This is a commitment, like school or work. It cannot just be "dropped" at a moment's notice.

If you just drop from parties "whenever you feel like it", you will quickly gain a reputation for it and simply stop getting invites.