When to leave your PT?

[Ryouken]

I was in the dunes today with a pt who I had had been with for at least 3 hours...

Anyways, our puller suddenly told us that he aggroed a VT gob and was planning on coming back to camp for assistance.

Suddenly I had an issue in RL, my lil sis began whining about how she wanted to watch TV (I was playing on an xbox360), and pretty soon my parents came in, demanding that I loggoff this instant >_<

What could I do? I needed to loggoff, so I told my party I was leaving and began to leave...

Then suddenly the screen filled with flaming messages, like ur an a** or a jerk, and I started to feel really guilty about having to leave them like that

My question is, is it right for your pt to flame you when u have a real life situation to deal with, especially one that you cant be aware of ahead of time (there was no way I could warn my party about having to leave in a few minutes, b/c my sis would instantly tell my parents to have me loggoff)?

PS: I posted this question on Alla's forum earlier, all I got in response was a bunch of flame replies and complaints about my "terrible" grammar (I used "u" instead of "you) X(

[Lasswyn]

Re: When to leave your PT?

I'm pretty spoiled in the fact that I was an only child, ergo no brats to share junk with. Also lucky because my parents live across town now...but I've seen situations like this arise on the boards occasionally, and it does make me wonder how families deal with the concept of a game with "other people in it." Can siblings "schedule" time on equipment and therefore plan around those pre-determined times for xp parties/Disney channel/whatever else little sis wants? Maybe I'm kidding myself, but there's got to be a way to deal with family members who just don't get it.

As for getting mad at someone who had to leave in a hurry.....I think I'm so used to it now that it doesn't faze me a whole lot. Even if it means the end of the party, there's always something else for me to do. As for whether or not other people *should* get mad...that I cannot say. Being upset about something means you expected X and got Y, which causes stress. It all depends on what they came into the party expecting. Personally, I think three hours is a pretty good run anyway. (But then, I'm a casual player. )

[Jei]

Re: When to leave your PT?

I would stay until the fight's over personally. Unless it's an emergancy.

On a personal level, it always looks bad, very bad imo when the party has been working fine for hours. But right when something ingame goes wrong, someone will have an RL issue right at that time too. Whether the RL issue is real or not, it will always look like a fake one in this situation.

I started an LS a while back when NA version was just released. It was planned to become an HNM LS once people are high enough. We had up to 50 members. After 2 months of no major events at all due to people still levelling up, I organized our first major event, AF3 run for multiple jobs. And guess what, right before the event started, 4-5 members who have always been active on a daily basis, suddenly sent me similar tells. 3 of them had their family in a car crash accident and couldn't focus on the game and had to go to hospital. You read it right, 3 individual members. Who were in no way had any connections to each other.

[Aries Black]

Re: When to leave your PT?

I've done that a few times. Leaving without notice. Sadly my family doesn't understand the concept that I'm playing with other people around the world online. They asume that I can easily pause the game and do whatever they want me to do.

[Ryouken]

Re: When to leave your PT?

OMG! Thank you so much for not flaming me! XD

Thank you all for your advice on my situation, Im really grateful that I got the replies you gave me (I was expecting more like: "Your a NOOB!" or "Go to he**!")...

I completely understand how it looks bad in that kind of situation, in fact looking back on it Im not surprised why my pt got so angry with me b/c they probably thought I was lying to them >_<

Thank you

[Icemage]

Re: When to leave your PT?

No flames here. We were all kids at some point, and anyone who's had siblings understands the situation you were in.

Unfortunate that it had to happen over something so small - this would be a good time to ask your parents for your own TV to play FFXI on.


Icemage

[Ellipses]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Clearly, you're capable of decent grammar and spelling, and it's not that difficult. So there's an easy way to avoid grammar/spelling flames right there.

If you can't get your family to understand that this is a game where your sudden disappearance has a very detrimental effect on five other human beings, this will continue to be a problem. I would suggest trying to find a way to have a mature discussion with them about it and setting up specific times, or parameters so that you can tell parties exactly how long you have before you'll have to go.

If that doesn't work, it will be a big problem down the road. Standard practice is pretty much to tell parties at least 20 minutes before you have to go, and/or try to find your own replacement. Especially in later levels, where a party takes a long time to get going, and finding replacements brings everything to a screeching halt, it's very frustrating to have no notice. If you drop in the middle of a battle, you'll probably get your party killed.

I'm sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but in all honesty this is the reaction you're going to run up against. People are understanding of RL emergencies, but not so much the whole parental issue. The attitude you'll find most often, and honestly the one I agree with, is that if you can't commit to partying on a particular day, you shouldn't try to party that day.

[little ninja]

Re: When to leave your PT?

its sad but you were in the dunes for a party for 3hours or so. thats insane for any type of parties. they think thats bad wait til they get into the 70's where you need 39k, kill 3 mobs an then the person leaves. thats whne it gets annoying.

1. before you leave a party make sure there are no pulls going on or chains.
2. have ldr or yourself seek a replacement, thus the wait isnt all that bad.
3. promise sister some cookies if she gives you 3 mintues to complete #1 an 2,

Alla has stunk for a long time. its now a place to see who can flame more, them or KI,

[Coffeeandapples]

Re: When to leave your PT?

I feel your pain =/ I also have some problems with having to leave suddenly due to some unforseen RL event, and also my sometimes horribly random wireless isp.

To avoid this, I generally don't do any kind of group play when there is even a slight chance of having to leave suddenly, or the connection is looking bad. The only time I ever had that opportunity while in high school was Friday(most of the time), and occasionally Saturday.

BST + getting rich + crafting = win

[Murphie]

Re: When to leave your PT?

I'd like to second what Ellipses said. Not because I can't say it for myself, but because he already said it and like, stuff. Don't judge me!

Anyway, if you can't get your own TV to play on, then it really is a good idea to set up the paramaters around which you have to turn off the game. 10-20 minutes is ok, generally (earlier is better), and if it's an emergency most parties will be disappointed, but will understand.

[Rodin]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Yeah, parents and siblings can be total pains while playing games, or doing anything that you like. You always have two decisions to make, to be short with your parents, or to submit to them. While disobeying your parents isn't considered moral; submitting to their every demand isn't healthy. Your parents and you should always have a middle ground, instead of having you do whatever they want, when they want you to do it. I know many people on this site don't think I'm qualified enough to tell you this, since I don't have a degree in Psychology, BUT, I'm going to say it anyways. Children whos parents don't give them enough middle ground grow up to have certain problems. These can include Social Anxiety, Depression, Dependence Issues, and Indecisiveness. So make sure to get your middle ground . What I suggest you do is talk with your parents, telling them what times you want to play. Explain to them that it's not a game you can just "put on pause", and that you're actually playing with thousands of other people. If they don't believe you, show them. Type a message to one of your friends, and have them /tell you back. That should be enough proof. I remember with my set party, I had this problem with my Mother. I told her to come to the PS2. Typed, "Hey guys, my mom's here, have anything to say to her?" I automatically got 5 people saying, "STOP MAKING HIM GO AFK EVERY 5 SECONDS AND LET HIM PLAY THE F)*(U*ING GAME." Needless to say, she stopped calling me to do every little thing for her. Also, she's lost weight, cause she doesn't sit on the couch and have me run around for her every 5 minutes. Also, Icemage had a good idea. Get enough money, or ask your parents to get you a TV for FFXI only. I would suggest getting one of those 17" computer monitor-esque HDTVs for 200 bucks from Circuit City. They make FFXI look good.

[Shoren]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Well that's an easy question to answer.
When you feel like it.

Well yeah, I'm a jerk and when people call me that I don't take it as an insult their just saying it like it is. I don't care if I just get bored a realize I don't want to exp and would rather go out and experience this thing my friends keep telling me about. Sunshine they call it.

Any rate, Real life > FFXI. If you don't want to play you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Just say sorry guys got to go. You don't have to give them a reason or excuse. Just let them know you are leaving. (Preferably not mid-fight). If they want to continue to pull and then go OMG where'd Shoren go!? And call me mean names cause they pulled after I explicitly said I was leaving. Oh well.

I mean I've seen 'polite' people. Poor people they are. This one guy was practically begging his party to stop pulling so he could leave. He was a really nice guy and I think he had to get ready to go out with some family or a g/f. Any rate, our puller wouldn't stop pulling and the rest of the party kept seemed to forget how to type as they didn't reply or anything just kept fighting. This poor guy was our tank. I myself stopped fighting. But he kept voking cause he didn't want everyone to die cause he left. Well this was all cause some of our members were lvl 17 and wanted lvl 18 SO bad. It took about 10 fights or so when I realized this guy wasn't going to log unless they stopped pulling. So I did the nice thing. The puller pulled and being BST I casted charm on the mob and charmed it. Everyone was like WTF, and I said. Tank has to logged. They all bitched and moaned, but the guy was finally able to log out. Of course I was /bst and not BST so that charm didn't last long. Party got me back by watching me die. Then blamed me for killing the party since no tanks were seeking at the time. Oh well I was /BST so I disbanded and went back to solo'ing.

Moral of the story. People are going to do what they need/want to do regaurdless, so its up to you to do the same. (Not an excuse to be inconsiderate, if you can help by all means, but if you aren't up for it you aren't obligated to the game.)

Politeness is over-rated anyways.

[Oogami]

Re: When to leave your PT?

I play mostly in Japan prime time, so I do not have to deal with the hassle of "replacement".
It is not that they do not do it, but very few do (maybe 5% of full Japanese parties use the 'replacement' system)

Usually we will xp for about 2-3 hours (maybe more in weekends), and call it a wrap. Anyone else who wants to continue xp-ing will LFG again and wait at the 'staging area' for their levels. (Selbina or the NPC near Bastok exit in Valkurm Dunes for example). I will only know if it is going to be a 2 hour or 3 hour party when someone says that he/she only have 30 minutes left at the 1.5 hr or 2.5 hr mark.

But in real emergencies, notify the party, finish the kill and get off. If you can, follow up with the leader the next time you can find him/her.

[Lyceius]

Re: When to leave your PT?

my nephew used to just lvl and log without saying a word. I didnt know this till i pled his pt in the dunes. I told him that was wrong and if he didnt watch out he was gonna get a bad reputation on the server. I hope hes stoped doing it. I always try to find my replacement in a pt if im leaving.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: When to leave your PT?

Ok let's face it, most parents aren't going to understand the concept of "But mom/dad, I need only 5 extra mins to finish this fight and tell them I need to log out. Please understand that I could harm these people's virtual characters by logging out now!". When you're a parent and you have one kid screaming they want on the puter/tv to do whatever they want to do and another whining about wanting 5 more mins, who's gonna win? So basically what you need to do is, whenever you get a pt, AFTER you get to camp and start fighting, tell them flat out that if you have to leave you may have to leave quickly. Tell them if your mother tells you to get off, that means immediately. So at least they have a heads up if it's going to happen.

Also, try to talk to your sister about this. Tell her that she needs to let you know 5 mins beforehand that she is going to want the tv. Barter with her if you have to. Tell her something/give her something/do something for her or whatever it takes to give you the little bit of time to finish a fight. You could also try including her when she starts saying she wants the tv. Tell her "hey check this out! wanna see me do something cool?" or tell her someone in the pt is going to do something cool. Get her to watch the rest of the fight and talk to her while its going on and explain what people are doing, names of abilities, etc. That might keep her quiet long enough for you to finish the fight and say goodbye without a lot of whining from her.