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While we're all waiting to get on and download, here are a few scenes from SE:
SCENE: A darkened room with a guy sleeping on the bed somewhere in Japan. Door swings wide open and a disheveled man in his 40's bursts in:
Man: Tetsu! Tetsu wake up! We have work to do! You forgot to turn on the dial-in modem so that our players can download our small 43 megabyte patch! Nobody can get in! Quick!
Tetsu (moaning): Ooh..my head...too much sake last night....Are you sure the modem disconnected? Maybe you forgot to pay the phone bill again. Just put out another DoS attack notice.
Man: No! No! We can't have that again. Just go and dial in and then they'll be happy enough while they keep hitting "Retry".
Tetsu: Okay, okay. Make sure you post something about extended maintenance then.
------------------------------------------ SCENE AT AIRPORT -------------------------------
Voice over intercom: Would passengers with seat numbers 1 through 3 please start boarding at the entrance. Thank you.
Passenger: Excuse me, Miss? I have this ticket here and I've been waiting for three days now to...
SE Attendant: Sir! Please move to the back of the line, sir! You are not yet being called for "Update Airlines", sir!
Passenger: But...but you see I've been waiting so lo...
SE Attendant: Sir! I said now, sir! Move to the back of the line! You've just lost your place and I'm moving you to seat number 3,905,007! (looking up at the infinitely long line) Now calling tickets 4 through 6. Please come forward. Thank you! Thank you for flying SE Express, we hope you have a wonderful day.
Passenger (grumbling): This is intolerable...why are they so bad...?
SCENE: He walks past a long line of waiting people, mostly unshaven and disheveled since days. The occasional begging bowl is thrust in his direction with the faint moaning of "Alms...we haven't eaten in days.." heard through the waiting line.
SE Attendant 2: I'm sorry sir, this is the first line. You're being moved back to the eighteenth. Please proceed ahead. I'm sorry for the delay. Also, please be aware that if you don't pay at the end of the month, we will cancel your account and you will have to wait in line all over again. (gives man a big sweet smile)
Man (grumbling): What!? But that's where I started from! You can't...
SE Attendant 2: I'm sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Please move along or I'll have to put you into GM Jail for complaining. I've already noted your name, and now you're being watched. You've been causing so much trouble!
Shady Man (whispering): Hey! Pal...You want to buy some tickets? I sell some on my web site. I can move you up in line.
Man: Hey! You're a crook! Miss! This guy is selling tickets!
SE Attendant 2: Sir! This is your second warning, sir! Please stop causing trouble!
Shady Man (talking out loud with Anime laugh): Don't worry, they don't care. Now you want to buy a ticket or not? If not, I'll kill you and you'll have to start all over again by a few notches.
Man: Hey! He threatened me!
SE Attendant 2: That does it! Sir, please follow me to GM Jail.
Man: But...but...
SE Attendant 2: No patches for you either! Guards!
Shady Man: Ha! Seeya later - perhaps! I'll go camp out spot number 10 and raise the price. Maybe you'll have changed your mind by then!
Man: Help! Help! This isn't how you treat a cust-ow! (muffled moans through the hooded gag as he is dragged off).
Voice over Intercom: Please accept our humble apologies for any delays, and we hope that you enjoy your free honey-roasted solitary peanut as restitution for any inconveniences you have experienced so far. Have a wonderful day.
SCENE: A darkened room with a guy sleeping on the bed somewhere in Japan. Door swings wide open and a disheveled man in his 40's bursts in:
Man: Tetsu! Tetsu wake up! We have work to do! You forgot to turn on the dial-in modem so that our players can download our small 43 megabyte patch! Nobody can get in! Quick!
Tetsu (moaning): Ooh..my head...too much sake last night....Are you sure the modem disconnected? Maybe you forgot to pay the phone bill again. Just put out another DoS attack notice.
Man: No! No! We can't have that again. Just go and dial in and then they'll be happy enough while they keep hitting "Retry".
Tetsu: Okay, okay. Make sure you post something about extended maintenance then.
------------------------------------------ SCENE AT AIRPORT -------------------------------
Voice over intercom: Would passengers with seat numbers 1 through 3 please start boarding at the entrance. Thank you.
Passenger: Excuse me, Miss? I have this ticket here and I've been waiting for three days now to...
SE Attendant: Sir! Please move to the back of the line, sir! You are not yet being called for "Update Airlines", sir!
Passenger: But...but you see I've been waiting so lo...
SE Attendant: Sir! I said now, sir! Move to the back of the line! You've just lost your place and I'm moving you to seat number 3,905,007! (looking up at the infinitely long line) Now calling tickets 4 through 6. Please come forward. Thank you! Thank you for flying SE Express, we hope you have a wonderful day.
Passenger (grumbling): This is intolerable...why are they so bad...?
SCENE: He walks past a long line of waiting people, mostly unshaven and disheveled since days. The occasional begging bowl is thrust in his direction with the faint moaning of "Alms...we haven't eaten in days.." heard through the waiting line.
SE Attendant 2: I'm sorry sir, this is the first line. You're being moved back to the eighteenth. Please proceed ahead. I'm sorry for the delay. Also, please be aware that if you don't pay at the end of the month, we will cancel your account and you will have to wait in line all over again. (gives man a big sweet smile)
Man (grumbling): What!? But that's where I started from! You can't...
SE Attendant 2: I'm sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Please move along or I'll have to put you into GM Jail for complaining. I've already noted your name, and now you're being watched. You've been causing so much trouble!
Shady Man (whispering): Hey! Pal...You want to buy some tickets? I sell some on my web site. I can move you up in line.
Man: Hey! You're a crook! Miss! This guy is selling tickets!
SE Attendant 2: Sir! This is your second warning, sir! Please stop causing trouble!
Shady Man (talking out loud with Anime laugh): Don't worry, they don't care. Now you want to buy a ticket or not? If not, I'll kill you and you'll have to start all over again by a few notches.
Man: Hey! He threatened me!
SE Attendant 2: That does it! Sir, please follow me to GM Jail.
Man: But...but...
SE Attendant 2: No patches for you either! Guards!
Shady Man: Ha! Seeya later - perhaps! I'll go camp out spot number 10 and raise the price. Maybe you'll have changed your mind by then!
Man: Help! Help! This isn't how you treat a cust-ow! (muffled moans through the hooded gag as he is dragged off).
Voice over Intercom: Please accept our humble apologies for any delays, and we hope that you enjoy your free honey-roasted solitary peanut as restitution for any inconveniences you have experienced so far. Have a wonderful day.
... thats soo true , but soo funny
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