You know you play FFXI too much when...

[Omni]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

In real life, when walking down a long hallway, and you see a person at the other end you don't recognise, you try to hover your cursor over them to see their name.

That happened to me, once.

you have a cursor in real life?

[Ciros]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

you have a cursor in real life?

In my mind I do. The doctors say the pills should fix that, though, so I won't for much longer...

[Shoren]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

Ooo fun. Okay I only read about 7 of the 11 pages. So pardon me if any of these are repeated ^^

I remember this thread when it first came out and wanted to make a comic strip about it. So I guess it applies here. This long series of events is about someone who has difficulty differentiating the rules and way of life in FFXI from the rules and ways of real life. Any rate enjoy. If anyone out there can draw, I'd love to see these in comic form with pretty pictures. ^^



You spend the afternoon boiling eggs to raise your cooking skill. Come dinner time you think you are just about ready to make a delicious T-Bone steak and Mashed potatoes. After failing miserably you figure its still above your level cap, so you decide you'll spend the rest of the night skilling up on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and microwavable hot-dogs. Come lunch time you'll have your steak!

Your daughter begs and begs for a pet rabbit. Finally you cave and tell her to bring you 4 carrots and a water crystal. An hour later she comes back with four carrots and 1 blue rock. You put the ingredients into a blender and mix it all together. After the blue rock successfully breaks your blender you pour what you can into a little jug. You tell her that its a jug of carrot broth and all she needs to do is unlock her inner BST and get it to lvl 23. You hand her a stick and the plastic lid from the trashcan to use as a shield and point her in the direction of the nearest squirrel to get experience points, though you warn her to stay away from the neighbor's rotweiller until atleast lvl 6.

You wife is constantly complaining you do nothing around the house to help. So one day she is cooking as you walk into the kitchen. You see she is about to make some boiled eggs. This is your chance to make it up to her. You take the egg and the water she was about to boiling and say, "No honey let me do that for you..." Surprised at your offer to help, it is already paying off as she says thank you and gives you a kiss on the cheek. Looking at the stove you realize you don't know how to work the thing, so you ask. "Honey the jewelry store should have crystals right?" Blushing she thinks you intend to buy her a gift and nods saying that they should. Turning she finds you walking out the kitchen heading for the front door with the egg and water and asks where you are going. Your reply is:
"I'm going to the jewelry store to see if they have any fire crystals so I can synth you some hard-boiled eggs..."

You're on the phone with one of your guy friends and you think you're alone so you start talking about your wife and how she CONSTANTLY gets on your nerves. In the middle of the conversation you feel her hot breath on the back of your neck. You realize she's been there the whole time. You then say "Shit aggro..." and drop the phone. You turn to cast bind via asking if she's put on weight. It works, she's stunned for a few seconds. You the make a dash for the zone. You successfully make it upstairs to the bed room and pick up the phone by the bed. And say, "Man sorry about that, got aggro from the wife. Barely made it to the zone....." And you honestly believe you are free and clear and have gotten away with it.

Your wife is still made at you, so you decide to invite your daughter to a party. You sub thf and sneak into the kitchen. You tell your daughter to stand behind your wife who is now angrily doing the dishes. You prepare your sneak attack. Engage and crouch behind your daughter and say. "You're fat and nobody loves you..." -Critical hit!- You think you've successful tranfered all the hate your wife has for you to your daughter. You hit your flee macro and high tale it out the zone.

You get out the house and go out to a bar. You have no choice. Your wife has successfully locked you out the house. You call up some friends to form a 'party' to exp on some bud lights. While waiting for them to show up you decide to see if you can solo. You see an 'person' type mob and 'engage' in conversation. So far so good. You're managing to hold your own. Then out of no where another person comes and joins in the conversation. You run for the exit screaming "OMG LINK!" No you don't say Oh my God. You actually say O-em-Gee.

You decide its safer to wait outside the bar for your party to show up. After they get there and you all 'buff' up with the usual greetings and secret ffxi hand shake and enter the zone. You set up 'camp' at a table by the far wall while the puller goes to pull the 'waitress type' mob. BUT...

Suddenly the NM of the zone pops. Slutty Susan. She's right by your camp and you yell to the puller "OMG NM, come back come back..." Your party doesn't want to engage fearing the leet power of the NM. Some say that her pimp might link. But you say her pimp hasn't spawned yet. You see other people eyeing the NM, so you say screw your party and charge in. The battle goes like so:

You rush in and see bar-rat taking out their cool shades to engage the NM, you stop and cast your quickest spell.

"Hey susan want a drink?"

Success. Your spell lands first and she storms after you leaving the bar rat angry and as you have successfully stolen the NM. Havin the NM you wave to your party for help but still they don't want to help for sake of getting owned.

"Hey handsom where's that drink"
Susan hits you for 15 damage.

You don't know what to say now that your friends have abandoned you. You offer her the drink you have been sipping on half the night.
You miss Slutty Susan.

"Sorry hun I don't like beer...get me a real drink sugar."
Critical hit. Susan hits you for 42 damage.

You disengage and try to run back to party. Susan uses draw in. You are drawn into a seat at the bar. Where she proceeds to order the most expensive drink on the menu.
You take 142 damage.

You panic and hit your two hour ability. You pull out your good wallet. The one with the credit cards. Susan is incredibly weak to cash element attacks. You take down over half of her life bar.
You might be able to do this!

You start casting dia and use some of that witty humour of yours.
Susan's defense is weakened.

Susan takes a sip and 'casually' rests a hand on your thigh. And not your lower thigh but up close to your waist almost touch your....
Critical hit. You take 142 damage.

You start casting paralyze to slow her attacks and break out one of your patented pick up lines.
"Is that a role of quarters in my pocket or am I just happy you have your hand there?"

She lookes weirded out and resists your spell. Her hand moves away as her attention turns away from you. You're loosing her.
She hits you for 45 damage.

You offer to buy her another drink. Cash elemental attack.
Susan takes another critcal hit. You almost have her.

Your friends are cheering you on then out of now where!

"Oh my god Susan! You gotta see who's here!"
Enter Link. The ugly friend.

You panic and try to run away but your friends FINALLY jump into help you. But one of them accidently engages the ugly friend. Since you disengaged to flee, Susan goes unclaimed long enough to get your claim stolen. You watch helplessly as Susan walks off with the man who just said he had a nice bottle of wine in his BMW.

Damn those high level cash mages.

You're friend is stuck with the ugly friend he engaged and as party leader you boot him to suffer the fate of a horridly one sided conversation he can't escape.
He dies (inside) and just home points. Good riddens.

A few hours later, you've gotten some decent exp off a few bud lights. A few links here and there but you manage to put them all down. So you decide to go home to see if you can get in. Exiting the bar you see that annoying high level Cash mage and ask "Did you get the drop?"

The mage sighs and shakes his head as some noob comes up and asks "What does that NM drop anyways?" You answer "Oh she drops special gear, panties."
The noob's eyes go wide. "So SHE'S the NM that drops the panties..." You all nod and pat the cash mage on the back for not getting such a valuable drop. Though you are actually happy he didn't get it since he stole it from you anyways.

The noob then tries to asks you for a PL, he's only 16 but wants to get exp off the bud lights too. You simply smack the noob for being a noob and continue on your way home.

You're too drunk to drive and walking home would mean traveling through areas with lots of high level aggro (crossing the high way). So you go to the nearest chocobo stables. Well taxi lot. Same thing they're both big, yellow, smell funny and get you to where you need to go.

When you finally get home you /l your housemates but no one is currently active on your LS. You're sleeping outside tonight.

Don't let FFXI ruin your life. Play in moderation please.

[Rodin]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

When you say to one of your friends, "Wait, let me put on my linkpearl." When you actually meant, "Wait, lemme turn on my cell phone." They thought I was stoned. ; ;

When you leave your house and forget your (Class, in my case) ring and think, "SHIT, I left my XP band in my mog."

[fastcart]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

Shoren... Step away from the PC...

Lol. Funny stuff. And, scary enough to seem to be true sometimes... Shame on you for transferring hate to your own daughter! Shame! ^^

Btw, I fully typo'd Boston today. I said Baston... I fear my next Boston typo... /sigh

[Drogen_Shomuro]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

When you carry an entire conversation with your friends in RL that all play FFXI:
(The words aren't exactly the same, but the gist of it is true )

<arrive at the local movie theatres/mall 8pm>
A: Where are all the hot chicks?
B: They don't spawn until 9pm.
C: There, go pull that one
A: Too Weak --Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass.
C: GO PULL
B: Charm it.
A: It's gonna link.
B: (Pretends to shoot a heart)
C: Stop wasting time, go pull
A: Tell B to carby pull
B: You pull
A: I don't even have a ranged attack
C: Pull with voke then
A: But then you can't hold hate
C: Yes I can
A: Besides, I subbed thf
C: Useless drg...
B: Oh shit, is that <annoying girl we try to avoid>
B: Frick, sneak, hide
<annoying girl>: Hi!
C: *whispers* Shit agro.
B: *whispers* zone
<annoying girl stays awhile, then goes into movie theater>
A: look look, spawn window's starting
<we see a hot chick get into an asian dude's riced out car>
B: voke botted..
A: damn Chinese gil sellers
C: ToD 9:12 pm
B: You're chinese, how come you don't have lots of gil
A: I don't bot
C: go buy gil
A: nothx
B: go farm at Zippy's
B: and get a Zippy's aketon so we get discounts when we buy food
A: nah it's alright, we got the ToD
A: we'll get it tomorrow

[Taskmage]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

When you carry an entire conversation with your friends in RL that all play FFXI:
(The words aren't exactly the same, but the gist of it is true )

<arrive at the local movie theatres/mall 8pm>
A: Where are all the hot chicks?
B: They don't spawn until 9pm.
C: There, go pull that one
A: Too Weak --Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass.
C: GO PULL
B: Charm it.
A: It's gonna link.
B: (Pretends to shoot a heart)
C: Stop wasting time, go pull
A: Tell B to carby pull
B: You pull
A: I don't even have a ranged attack
C: Oh shit, is that <annoying girl we try to avoid>
B: Frick, sneak, hide
<annoying girl>: Hi!
C: *whispers* Shit agro.
B: *whispers* zone
<annoying girl stays awhile, then goes into movie theater>
A: look look, spawn window's starting
<we see a hot chick get into an asian dude's riced out car>
B: voke botted..
A: damn Chinese gil sellers
C: ToD 9:12 pm
B: You're chinese, how come you don't have lots of gil
A: I don't bot
C: go buy gil
A: nothx
B: go farm at Zippy's
B: and get a Zippy's aketon so we get discounts when we buy food
A: nah it's alright, we got the ToD
A: we'll get it tomorrow

Quoted for truth

[fastcart]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

I love this thread.

[Phantom2040]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

this thread wins.

worst thing ive done was talking with friends about something weird and i said "i would go but it costs so much gil to...i just said gil didnt i?" they nodded and laughed at me XD

then during some random day at work, talking with friends and i see my boss coming and im thinking "let it not aggro" then another higher up comes around with him and they start coming towards me and im like "o crap aggro+link! im screwed!" so i then hit my 2hr and make a run for it...then i realized i had no 2hr or had no zone so i died (not really but close enough!)

[Stubbeh]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

When your pc auto-executes FF XI and sighs.

This one just made me roll.....

On a related note, anybody else in the IT industry have FFXI installed on their laptop and play at work during downtime? I get some of my best farming done there...

[Eohmer]

Re: You know you play FFXI too much when...

When you go to Medieval Times and start yelling out the nations to the corresponding colors! >.<