How's that for a creative title?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3552779/1/ - The fanfiction.net link, if you like what you see and you want to bookmark it for future reading.
Also, I will keep updates in this thread too. Also, by posting this here, it keeps me motivated to finish it sooner rather than let it sit in my hard drive collecting giga-dust. (I'm just making up all kinds of words tonight.)
Disclaimer: Vana’diel and all the areas, races, jobs, etc. from Final Fantasy XI are not mine. I like them, though, so they’re providing a vehicle from which I can write something that I hope others can enjoy.
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Shadows
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Chapter One: A New Path
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“Thank you everyone,†I say to the group as we are packing up to leave our camp. “You’ve all done a terrific job tonight.â€
“Yeah, it was fun,†Angorry, a Tarutaru samurai responded. “Can someone warp me back home, please? I’d really appreciate it.â€
We’d just finished a long chain of killing monsters to gain some experience in our fighting skills. It had been a long night, but a good one, as we all came out of the battles no worse for the wear and a little bit smarter in the ways of war. I’d even learned a new spell tonight.
“I’d be glad to warp you, Ango, just give me a second to regain some magic points,†our black mage, and my fiancé, Utt, said. Utt is a strikingly handsome Hume with dark brown hair and a very strong jaw line that almost requires that I touch it on a regular basis. We had been planning our wedding for the past five months since we’d gotten engaged, and in the meantime, had spent time together on the battlefields learning the ways of magery. I was training in the ways of the red mage.
“I’ll help you with that,†I say to Utt, of his magic power dilemma. I chant Refresh and aim it at him, so that he can recover mana more quickly. “Does anyone else need Utt to warp them home?†I sit down to regain some of my own magic power. Although I can cast Refresh on myself, sometimes my tired legs just need the rest. The other members shake their heads, indicating they do not need Utt’s help.
“I can get there myself, Ystannya, thank you.†Temeeti, the white mage whom I’d just met that evening, was apparently partially skilled as a black mage and able to warp herself back home. She waves goodbye to the group, chants warp on herself, and disappears in a purple cloud. She was a pretty nice healer, and I made note of her name if I ever needed another white mage in the near future. You can never have too many friends with healing magic, even if you have your own.
Just as I am standing up, so is Utt, and he chants Warp on Angorry. Angorry bows to Utt and smiles as he disappears into the night. The ninja and the thief leave the group and begin to walk back to town together, and soon they are out of sight.
Just Utt and I are left under the stars on this warm fall evening, and a crescent moon is glowing – no more than a fingernail, I think as I peer up at it.
Since we are alone, I sit back down and I motion for Utt to join me. He does, but instead of wrapping his arms around me as he normally does, he occupies himself with the things in his backpack.
“Sit down here,†I say to him, and he shakes his head. “Why not?â€
“Ystannya,†he says to me, “I think we need to … talk.†At ‘talk,’ he looks at me, and I do not like the look on his face. This is not going to be a good conversation.
I start to speak first. “What’s wrong, honey?†He shook his head, as if in disgust.
“Don’t call me that.â€
“What’s going on?†I was starting to get nervous about what he could want, and why I couldn’t call him honey. “Sweet-“
“Don’t call me that, either.†I could tell he was getting exasperated, and I couldn’t figure out why. “Ystannya, there’s no easy way to tell you this so I’m just going to say it.â€
“Say wha-“
“Don’t interrupt me, damn it. I’m just going to tell you that I’ve met someone else.†I was shocked, utterly shocked. “You’re going to be angry with me, well, remember I said you should ask that white mage, Temeeti, to join us? Well, I’ve been seeing her for the past month and I wanted her to fight beside me.â€
“Right in front of my face?†Not only did he have the audacity to cheat on me, but he brought his little friend along with us during our battles!
“Well you know how I love a woman who fights beside me, through thick and thin, and, well, she’s such a soothing healer,†he said sheepishly. I made a mental note to remove Temeeti from my list of people I could call upon to battle with. Such a shame, because she really is a fine white mage.
“I can’t believe it, Utt. What the hell happened?â€
“She cured my wounds during a very difficult beastmen battle in Al Zhabi last month, and I admit I was drawn to her touch ever since. I’ve wanted to tell you, Ysti-â€
“Please don’t call me Ysti.†I interrupted again, but I couldn’t help it.
“I wanted to tell you right away but I couldn’t do it, and, well, this seemed to be the only way. Or else letting you stumble upon us as we ‘rested’ behind the bushes earlier.â€
“WHAT?!â€
“Well you always say that you never need to rest to recover your magic, so we crept away from the battle, as you were handling the magic casting quite well by yourself and we … well, we did … things. I’ve always wanted to do that during a battle, but like I said, you never seem to want to rest while there’s a fight going on.â€
“Oh dear Altana, Utt, I don’t even know what to say to you anymore.†If the laws of combat were not set so that I could not battle him, I would have been casting some seriously painful magic right now. Unfortunately, all magic learned is learned with an inability to aim it at fellow adventurers. “So then … the whole thing’s off, isn’t it?â€
“Yeah, it is. Can I have the ring back, please? It has my name on it, and I’d like to give it to Temeeti.â€
Just because I can’t cast magic on Utt doesn’t mean I can’t slap him, and I take the opportunity. “Well I certainly don’t want your soiled, cheating name on my finger anymore,†I tell him as I hand the ring back to him. I wouldn’t miss it, I say to myself, after all, I could do better with a ring that enhances my magic casting instead of just announces a name to the world. Yeah.
“Ystannya quit it,†he starts, but he doesn’t finish. I can see that he is having trouble finding the words to break up with me. And suddenly, although I know it won’t do me any good and it’s only a temporary solution, I get an idea. I begin to cast Dia on a very difficult monster, and since Utt is still teamed with me, it’s his battle, too. I cast an elemental spell on the monster to get it good and angry, and then I chant warp to myself and leave the monster to slaughter him. I smile as I see the monster turn toward him.
Yeah, it was childish, I think to myself as I arrive at my house, but it felt good, and he’ll get over it.
I can already feel the pain starting to seep in as I realize that I, too, will get over it, but not as quickly as he will get over his recent defeat.
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So I’m single again, I muse to myself in my journal later that night. I’m not exactly sure what to do with myself now that Utt has decided I’m not worth his time. I could have been happy with him …
I put down the pen for a minute, trying to think of what else I could write, but the words don’t come to me, and I close the book and put it away. There will be plenty of time now to write and I don’t have to do it right this second.
So now what?
I had enjoyed going out to battle with Utt so regularly and it would be productive – at least – to continue to battle if I weren’t so certain that I might run into him and his new lover in some future instance.
Was it really worth it to be an adventurer? Really, what am I gaining from all of this? Some experience and knowledge on the battlefield, but will I need it when I’m old, or will I feel like I have wasted my life?
At least when I had Utt I felt like there was some purpose to it all, like there would be something left after my life as and adventurer was over.
But now, what was there?
Of course I’m not going to give up the fighting life just yet. There’s still so much to learn. But perhaps a break from the actual fighting would do me good. An exploring trip, perhaps? And just wander around places, chat with some of the locals, relax, and enjoy the nature around me. That sounds good. Well, good enough, I suppose. Good enough to take my mind of the black mage cheater and the little white mage who could - steal him, that is.
So it’s settled, I think to myself, and before I know it I’m on an airship to Windurst, preparing for the first leg of my vacation around Vana’diel. And here goes nothing, I think in silent salute to this unwanted change in my course.
Here goes nothing.
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I walk down into the deep dark tunnels of the Eldieme Necropolis and a shiver runs down my spine. I’d never been in here before, and the creepiness of the place was getting to me. This was a burial ground for the fallen warriors of the Great War, and it seemed that the formerly dead were not happy to be there. I can’t say that I blame them.
The monsters look pretty weak to me, so I know I have nothing to fear from running through the area. Still, as an added precaution, I cast Sneak on myself since I know that their undead eyes cannot see me, but their sense of sound is thus heightened. I don’t really know what might be waiting for me as I venture further.
Things may not have been very good for me lately, but I still care for my life.
I run on, wondering why it was, exactly, that I’d come down here. Certainly not a desperate need to explore unchartered territory. Oh yes, of course. A San d’Orian friar staying in the Rarab Tail Hostelry asked me to run down here to check some flame or something. Well it’s mundane, for sure, but surely better than doing nothing at all.
I run further down into the crypt when I see another adventurer, poised to attack. An Elvaan with a great sword held high in his hands, like a baseball bat ready to swing.
My sneak wears off, and he turns around instantly. Suddenly, I see that he is not just another adventurer like myself. His skin is dark black, and his eyes glow at me with the intensity of someone who was done wrong. He’s a Shadow, a different form of undead monster I had heard about but never seen before. He runs toward me as though he is preparing to smack me with that enormous sword, and as I brace myself for the impact and prepare to defend myself, he stops running.
“What the hell?†I mutter under my breath, sighing in relief at the same time. The dark Elvaan is no more than three feet away from me now, and I’m terrified to move for fear that he will choose to attack me. I’m fairly sure he could defeat me, though I’d put up a hell of a good fight.
Still, I am puzzled as to why he did not attack me. I know that I am weak in comparison to him, and I am vulnerable at this very moment. I silently curse myself for being so careless with my magic.
Then, I hear it, barely above a whisper.
“You don’t need to fear me,†the undead Elvaan says to me. His voice is deep and startlingly strong for someone who is supposedly dead. I am taken aback by the fact that this – enemy – is talking to me.
“Um … okay?†I ask, pressing him to go on. This is unusual, to say the least.
“You and I both know that I could defeat you. Yet, I don’t want to.†His tone puzzles me. He sounds as confused as I feel. Well, at least I’m not alone down here, though I get the strange feeling of wanting to leave and wanting to stay at the same time. I begin to chant the Warp spell.
“Don’t go,†he says, interrupting my casting. Somehow, I feel compelled to listen to him, and I do not begin to cast anew.
“What do you want?†I ask him.
He smiles. Can Shadows smile? Well he does it anyway. “I just want to talk to you.†He motions to another area of the dungeon, and I follow him. Behind a huge boulder, there is a small crevice through which he leads me. I am apprehensive, though somehow the undead Elvaan puts my mind at ease. He offers me a chair and I take it. Still, I do not put down my weapon.
“Relax, young Hume,†he says, “I have no intention of harming you, and you are quite safe here. I am the only one in the entire Necropolis who knows about this room. This is where I spend my time when I do not feel like killing adventurers like yourself.†I laugh nervously. “You can tell me your name,†he adds.
“Ystannya,†I say to him.
“Ystannya,†he repeats. “Let me introduce myself. My name is Seade. I am an undead creature known as a Shadow. I was taken in the Great War while in a state of unconsciousness – defeat - and forced into submission by the Shadow Lord. Since he took me while I was down, he was able to convert me from the Elvaan I used to be, into this dead form that you see before you. Most of my companions are faithful to the Shadow Lord, but I was never fully transformed, and I dislike the fighting. I do it only because I have to. If I were to refuse to defeat an adventurer and I were caught doing so, I would be taken out of this place.â€
“Well how bad could that be?†I interrupted. I’ll admit it, I was intrigued. A “beastman†who wasn’t interested in killing?
“Not so bad at night, but during the day, well, you know what happens to vampires in light?â€
“Yes.â€
“Well I don’t want to die completely. This is a trap, yes, but I keep holding out hope that there will some day be a way to get out of here as an Elvaan again.†I started to feel bad for Seade. How many years had he been stuck in this place, fighting for a cause he didn’t believe in? How had he managed to live a lie for so long? Did all the beastmen have feelings? I stared at him quizzically. I wanted to know so many things.
“I, um … wow. I don’t know what to say. That’s awful.†I really meant it. I actually wanted to help him regain himself. “How can I help you?â€
“I knew you would understand me. Just one look at you and I could see that you would be the one to believe me.â€
“So that is why you stopped yourself from smacking me so suddenly,†I said. Still, I did not know what it was about my face that would lead Seade to believe that I would help him.
“Yes, that’s about all it is. And your little Hume face is too pretty for me to put this heavy sword through it,†he adds. I feel myself blushing. Really, a beastman, flirting with me? I look at him, and as I meet his eyes I can see that he is merely teasing me. And then I feel stupid for thinking that he would look at me that way in the first place.
“So then …â€
“Well I was wondering if you knew how to help me,†he started.
“You want me to help you to do what?†I asked. I wasn’t really following him.
“Become alive again. Not be a Shadow anymore.†Once again, I felt stupid for not knowing this. Really, where was my brain tonight?
“Well, I wouldn’t … um … know where to start, really, and … hmmmph. You really think I could help you out here?â€
“Well,†he began, “I would sure like you to try. You’re the first person I’ve felt like I could even talk to, let alone ask. I’ve been here for years, and while I’ve gotten some interesting reading material off of other more careless adventurers than yourself, this is not where I want to spend eternity.â€
“But if you died, you’d be somewhere …â€
“Not here, and not like this.â€
“Well …†I trailed off. He was right. He would have gone on to the afterlife, not living an undead life – hell of a life – in this necropolis. “What would you do if you were changed back?â€
“I’ve often wondered that,†he began. “I’m not really sure. I’ve been here for thirty-some years, never aging, doing nothing but patrolling these underground rooms with a bunch of other dastardly monsters. Reading in my spare time. Wondering how much Vana’diel has changed since the end of the war. Wishing I could take up my sword again, but on the right side of things. Great Altana, if only the superiors could hear me right now, I’d be dead, deader than undead. But you know, the unfairness of it! Not only did I never get the chance to finish my life, but if I’m stuck as a Shadow forever, I’ll never get to really die. I’m in limbo. You can’t imagine what it’s like.†He stops speaking, and I look at his face. I can tell he’s been pondering this for several years. I could see the longing in his face to be free of this nightmare of a life.
“I suppose I can’t,†I say. It’s true. How could I know what he has suffered? Sure, I’d suffered loss, too, the taste of which was still bitter in my mouth, but if I were to help Seade out, perhaps I could get the Utt thing out of my head.
“Then … will you?†Seade asks me, and I find myself nodding my head.
He smiles. Are Shadows supposed to smile? Well he smiles anyway.
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Let me know what you think. There is, obviously, more in store. And even if you think it sucks I'm going to continue writing it anyway because one of my pet peeves about fanfiction.net is the people who start things but never finish them.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3552779/1/ - The fanfiction.net link, if you like what you see and you want to bookmark it for future reading.
Also, I will keep updates in this thread too. Also, by posting this here, it keeps me motivated to finish it sooner rather than let it sit in my hard drive collecting giga-dust. (I'm just making up all kinds of words tonight.)
Disclaimer: Vana’diel and all the areas, races, jobs, etc. from Final Fantasy XI are not mine. I like them, though, so they’re providing a vehicle from which I can write something that I hope others can enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shadows
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter One: A New Path
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Thank you everyone,†I say to the group as we are packing up to leave our camp. “You’ve all done a terrific job tonight.â€
“Yeah, it was fun,†Angorry, a Tarutaru samurai responded. “Can someone warp me back home, please? I’d really appreciate it.â€
We’d just finished a long chain of killing monsters to gain some experience in our fighting skills. It had been a long night, but a good one, as we all came out of the battles no worse for the wear and a little bit smarter in the ways of war. I’d even learned a new spell tonight.
“I’d be glad to warp you, Ango, just give me a second to regain some magic points,†our black mage, and my fiancé, Utt, said. Utt is a strikingly handsome Hume with dark brown hair and a very strong jaw line that almost requires that I touch it on a regular basis. We had been planning our wedding for the past five months since we’d gotten engaged, and in the meantime, had spent time together on the battlefields learning the ways of magery. I was training in the ways of the red mage.
“I’ll help you with that,†I say to Utt, of his magic power dilemma. I chant Refresh and aim it at him, so that he can recover mana more quickly. “Does anyone else need Utt to warp them home?†I sit down to regain some of my own magic power. Although I can cast Refresh on myself, sometimes my tired legs just need the rest. The other members shake their heads, indicating they do not need Utt’s help.
“I can get there myself, Ystannya, thank you.†Temeeti, the white mage whom I’d just met that evening, was apparently partially skilled as a black mage and able to warp herself back home. She waves goodbye to the group, chants warp on herself, and disappears in a purple cloud. She was a pretty nice healer, and I made note of her name if I ever needed another white mage in the near future. You can never have too many friends with healing magic, even if you have your own.
Just as I am standing up, so is Utt, and he chants Warp on Angorry. Angorry bows to Utt and smiles as he disappears into the night. The ninja and the thief leave the group and begin to walk back to town together, and soon they are out of sight.
Just Utt and I are left under the stars on this warm fall evening, and a crescent moon is glowing – no more than a fingernail, I think as I peer up at it.
Since we are alone, I sit back down and I motion for Utt to join me. He does, but instead of wrapping his arms around me as he normally does, he occupies himself with the things in his backpack.
“Sit down here,†I say to him, and he shakes his head. “Why not?â€
“Ystannya,†he says to me, “I think we need to … talk.†At ‘talk,’ he looks at me, and I do not like the look on his face. This is not going to be a good conversation.
I start to speak first. “What’s wrong, honey?†He shook his head, as if in disgust.
“Don’t call me that.â€
“What’s going on?†I was starting to get nervous about what he could want, and why I couldn’t call him honey. “Sweet-“
“Don’t call me that, either.†I could tell he was getting exasperated, and I couldn’t figure out why. “Ystannya, there’s no easy way to tell you this so I’m just going to say it.â€
“Say wha-“
“Don’t interrupt me, damn it. I’m just going to tell you that I’ve met someone else.†I was shocked, utterly shocked. “You’re going to be angry with me, well, remember I said you should ask that white mage, Temeeti, to join us? Well, I’ve been seeing her for the past month and I wanted her to fight beside me.â€
“Right in front of my face?†Not only did he have the audacity to cheat on me, but he brought his little friend along with us during our battles!
“Well you know how I love a woman who fights beside me, through thick and thin, and, well, she’s such a soothing healer,†he said sheepishly. I made a mental note to remove Temeeti from my list of people I could call upon to battle with. Such a shame, because she really is a fine white mage.
“I can’t believe it, Utt. What the hell happened?â€
“She cured my wounds during a very difficult beastmen battle in Al Zhabi last month, and I admit I was drawn to her touch ever since. I’ve wanted to tell you, Ysti-â€
“Please don’t call me Ysti.†I interrupted again, but I couldn’t help it.
“I wanted to tell you right away but I couldn’t do it, and, well, this seemed to be the only way. Or else letting you stumble upon us as we ‘rested’ behind the bushes earlier.â€
“WHAT?!â€
“Well you always say that you never need to rest to recover your magic, so we crept away from the battle, as you were handling the magic casting quite well by yourself and we … well, we did … things. I’ve always wanted to do that during a battle, but like I said, you never seem to want to rest while there’s a fight going on.â€
“Oh dear Altana, Utt, I don’t even know what to say to you anymore.†If the laws of combat were not set so that I could not battle him, I would have been casting some seriously painful magic right now. Unfortunately, all magic learned is learned with an inability to aim it at fellow adventurers. “So then … the whole thing’s off, isn’t it?â€
“Yeah, it is. Can I have the ring back, please? It has my name on it, and I’d like to give it to Temeeti.â€
Just because I can’t cast magic on Utt doesn’t mean I can’t slap him, and I take the opportunity. “Well I certainly don’t want your soiled, cheating name on my finger anymore,†I tell him as I hand the ring back to him. I wouldn’t miss it, I say to myself, after all, I could do better with a ring that enhances my magic casting instead of just announces a name to the world. Yeah.
“Ystannya quit it,†he starts, but he doesn’t finish. I can see that he is having trouble finding the words to break up with me. And suddenly, although I know it won’t do me any good and it’s only a temporary solution, I get an idea. I begin to cast Dia on a very difficult monster, and since Utt is still teamed with me, it’s his battle, too. I cast an elemental spell on the monster to get it good and angry, and then I chant warp to myself and leave the monster to slaughter him. I smile as I see the monster turn toward him.
Yeah, it was childish, I think to myself as I arrive at my house, but it felt good, and he’ll get over it.
I can already feel the pain starting to seep in as I realize that I, too, will get over it, but not as quickly as he will get over his recent defeat.
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So I’m single again, I muse to myself in my journal later that night. I’m not exactly sure what to do with myself now that Utt has decided I’m not worth his time. I could have been happy with him …
I put down the pen for a minute, trying to think of what else I could write, but the words don’t come to me, and I close the book and put it away. There will be plenty of time now to write and I don’t have to do it right this second.
So now what?
I had enjoyed going out to battle with Utt so regularly and it would be productive – at least – to continue to battle if I weren’t so certain that I might run into him and his new lover in some future instance.
Was it really worth it to be an adventurer? Really, what am I gaining from all of this? Some experience and knowledge on the battlefield, but will I need it when I’m old, or will I feel like I have wasted my life?
At least when I had Utt I felt like there was some purpose to it all, like there would be something left after my life as and adventurer was over.
But now, what was there?
Of course I’m not going to give up the fighting life just yet. There’s still so much to learn. But perhaps a break from the actual fighting would do me good. An exploring trip, perhaps? And just wander around places, chat with some of the locals, relax, and enjoy the nature around me. That sounds good. Well, good enough, I suppose. Good enough to take my mind of the black mage cheater and the little white mage who could - steal him, that is.
So it’s settled, I think to myself, and before I know it I’m on an airship to Windurst, preparing for the first leg of my vacation around Vana’diel. And here goes nothing, I think in silent salute to this unwanted change in my course.
Here goes nothing.
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I walk down into the deep dark tunnels of the Eldieme Necropolis and a shiver runs down my spine. I’d never been in here before, and the creepiness of the place was getting to me. This was a burial ground for the fallen warriors of the Great War, and it seemed that the formerly dead were not happy to be there. I can’t say that I blame them.
The monsters look pretty weak to me, so I know I have nothing to fear from running through the area. Still, as an added precaution, I cast Sneak on myself since I know that their undead eyes cannot see me, but their sense of sound is thus heightened. I don’t really know what might be waiting for me as I venture further.
Things may not have been very good for me lately, but I still care for my life.
I run on, wondering why it was, exactly, that I’d come down here. Certainly not a desperate need to explore unchartered territory. Oh yes, of course. A San d’Orian friar staying in the Rarab Tail Hostelry asked me to run down here to check some flame or something. Well it’s mundane, for sure, but surely better than doing nothing at all.
I run further down into the crypt when I see another adventurer, poised to attack. An Elvaan with a great sword held high in his hands, like a baseball bat ready to swing.
My sneak wears off, and he turns around instantly. Suddenly, I see that he is not just another adventurer like myself. His skin is dark black, and his eyes glow at me with the intensity of someone who was done wrong. He’s a Shadow, a different form of undead monster I had heard about but never seen before. He runs toward me as though he is preparing to smack me with that enormous sword, and as I brace myself for the impact and prepare to defend myself, he stops running.
“What the hell?†I mutter under my breath, sighing in relief at the same time. The dark Elvaan is no more than three feet away from me now, and I’m terrified to move for fear that he will choose to attack me. I’m fairly sure he could defeat me, though I’d put up a hell of a good fight.
Still, I am puzzled as to why he did not attack me. I know that I am weak in comparison to him, and I am vulnerable at this very moment. I silently curse myself for being so careless with my magic.
Then, I hear it, barely above a whisper.
“You don’t need to fear me,†the undead Elvaan says to me. His voice is deep and startlingly strong for someone who is supposedly dead. I am taken aback by the fact that this – enemy – is talking to me.
“Um … okay?†I ask, pressing him to go on. This is unusual, to say the least.
“You and I both know that I could defeat you. Yet, I don’t want to.†His tone puzzles me. He sounds as confused as I feel. Well, at least I’m not alone down here, though I get the strange feeling of wanting to leave and wanting to stay at the same time. I begin to chant the Warp spell.
“Don’t go,†he says, interrupting my casting. Somehow, I feel compelled to listen to him, and I do not begin to cast anew.
“What do you want?†I ask him.
He smiles. Can Shadows smile? Well he does it anyway. “I just want to talk to you.†He motions to another area of the dungeon, and I follow him. Behind a huge boulder, there is a small crevice through which he leads me. I am apprehensive, though somehow the undead Elvaan puts my mind at ease. He offers me a chair and I take it. Still, I do not put down my weapon.
“Relax, young Hume,†he says, “I have no intention of harming you, and you are quite safe here. I am the only one in the entire Necropolis who knows about this room. This is where I spend my time when I do not feel like killing adventurers like yourself.†I laugh nervously. “You can tell me your name,†he adds.
“Ystannya,†I say to him.
“Ystannya,†he repeats. “Let me introduce myself. My name is Seade. I am an undead creature known as a Shadow. I was taken in the Great War while in a state of unconsciousness – defeat - and forced into submission by the Shadow Lord. Since he took me while I was down, he was able to convert me from the Elvaan I used to be, into this dead form that you see before you. Most of my companions are faithful to the Shadow Lord, but I was never fully transformed, and I dislike the fighting. I do it only because I have to. If I were to refuse to defeat an adventurer and I were caught doing so, I would be taken out of this place.â€
“Well how bad could that be?†I interrupted. I’ll admit it, I was intrigued. A “beastman†who wasn’t interested in killing?
“Not so bad at night, but during the day, well, you know what happens to vampires in light?â€
“Yes.â€
“Well I don’t want to die completely. This is a trap, yes, but I keep holding out hope that there will some day be a way to get out of here as an Elvaan again.†I started to feel bad for Seade. How many years had he been stuck in this place, fighting for a cause he didn’t believe in? How had he managed to live a lie for so long? Did all the beastmen have feelings? I stared at him quizzically. I wanted to know so many things.
“I, um … wow. I don’t know what to say. That’s awful.†I really meant it. I actually wanted to help him regain himself. “How can I help you?â€
“I knew you would understand me. Just one look at you and I could see that you would be the one to believe me.â€
“So that is why you stopped yourself from smacking me so suddenly,†I said. Still, I did not know what it was about my face that would lead Seade to believe that I would help him.
“Yes, that’s about all it is. And your little Hume face is too pretty for me to put this heavy sword through it,†he adds. I feel myself blushing. Really, a beastman, flirting with me? I look at him, and as I meet his eyes I can see that he is merely teasing me. And then I feel stupid for thinking that he would look at me that way in the first place.
“So then …â€
“Well I was wondering if you knew how to help me,†he started.
“You want me to help you to do what?†I asked. I wasn’t really following him.
“Become alive again. Not be a Shadow anymore.†Once again, I felt stupid for not knowing this. Really, where was my brain tonight?
“Well, I wouldn’t … um … know where to start, really, and … hmmmph. You really think I could help you out here?â€
“Well,†he began, “I would sure like you to try. You’re the first person I’ve felt like I could even talk to, let alone ask. I’ve been here for years, and while I’ve gotten some interesting reading material off of other more careless adventurers than yourself, this is not where I want to spend eternity.â€
“But if you died, you’d be somewhere …â€
“Not here, and not like this.â€
“Well …†I trailed off. He was right. He would have gone on to the afterlife, not living an undead life – hell of a life – in this necropolis. “What would you do if you were changed back?â€
“I’ve often wondered that,†he began. “I’m not really sure. I’ve been here for thirty-some years, never aging, doing nothing but patrolling these underground rooms with a bunch of other dastardly monsters. Reading in my spare time. Wondering how much Vana’diel has changed since the end of the war. Wishing I could take up my sword again, but on the right side of things. Great Altana, if only the superiors could hear me right now, I’d be dead, deader than undead. But you know, the unfairness of it! Not only did I never get the chance to finish my life, but if I’m stuck as a Shadow forever, I’ll never get to really die. I’m in limbo. You can’t imagine what it’s like.†He stops speaking, and I look at his face. I can tell he’s been pondering this for several years. I could see the longing in his face to be free of this nightmare of a life.
“I suppose I can’t,†I say. It’s true. How could I know what he has suffered? Sure, I’d suffered loss, too, the taste of which was still bitter in my mouth, but if I were to help Seade out, perhaps I could get the Utt thing out of my head.
“Then … will you?†Seade asks me, and I find myself nodding my head.
He smiles. Are Shadows supposed to smile? Well he smiles anyway.
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Let me know what you think. There is, obviously, more in store. And even if you think it sucks I'm going to continue writing it anyway because one of my pet peeves about fanfiction.net is the people who start things but never finish them.
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