What GM do in thier Spare Time Vol. 1

[Genuine]

lol these are awesome!!!! keep em coming

[Alacer]

Volume 9

Kmartaru: Okay this way to the feast!
Bob: What feast?
Kmartaru: Hot-pot of course
Joe: Its called a cauldron. And its not food
Kmartaru: Fud. I like fud.
Bob: OMFG!!
Joe: I hate this kid
Kmartaru: I'm the new hero FYIBTW
Bob: Cocky little bas-
Oracle: STOP TALKING AND GO
Joe: okay, okay.

*Bob, Joe and the annoying new hero enter the chocobo stables*

Bob: You know I don't think this guy should be the hero.
Joe: I second that motion.
Kmartaru: Motion wah?
Bob: See what I mean!
Kmartaru: I think this is my prize for winning tawu-cad-game.
Kmartaru: This ring.. very pretty..
Oracle: THE ONE RING...TO RULE THEM AAALLLL
*The oracle nods knowingly*
Joe: ...
Bob: ...
Oracle: ...
Oracle: GET THE FUK ON THAT CHOC.. NOW.
Kmartaru: All bow down to the grea-
*Bob slaps Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: ouchie!
Bob: Lets go
Joe: Ok.

<elvaanfemalerenter1> A chocobo will cost you 593 gil. I see that you have 92183012957837581274986218937982758732 gil.
<elvaanfemalerenter1> Would you like to rent a chocobo?

Bob: Not really, no.
Joe: nop
Kmartaru: Uhmm...uhmm.. uhmm-
*Bob slaps Kmartaru*
ORACLE: I SAID GET O-
Joe: okay!
Bob: Jeez take a chill pill
Oracle: I DID. WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS THING IN MY HAND
Bob: Holy sh*t! Theres really something called a Chill Pill?
Kmartaru: Of course-taru!
Kmartaru: Would you like to buy one? For only 79.99 a pack of 100 chill pills!
*Bob looks at the slogan under the package*
<sloganunderthepackage>: Just cchiilll.
Bob: Omg! Shiva's on the packaging!
Joe: Damn she ho-
Oracle: WTF DID I SAY!
Bob: Alrite already! Whats with the rush

*Bob, Joe and the new annoying hero hop on chocobos*

<jake> *cough* *cough* *wheeze*
<chocobo2> uhg..
Bob: ...
Joe: ...
<jake> *cough* pll..eea..se.. I.. I..
<chocobo2> He's really sick, spare him!
<chocobo2> I told you not to come out! but nooo
<jake> *wheeze* then who will..*cough* feed the..
Bob: pst pst. I dont think they can see us Joe.
Joe: Ya, they can only face forward.
<jake> What was that? You want to free me?
<chocobo2> Pllease! *cough*
Kmartaru: What going on?
Joe: Look, kmartaru! Food! Food!
Kmartaru: WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE!?!?!?!?!?
*Bob points at <jake>*
Kmartaru: ooohh..
ORACLE: STOP MESSING WITH THE POOR ANIMALS!
<jake> Its called *cough* animal *wheeze* lab.. *cough* bor.
Bob: ..
Joe: ..

*Bob, Joe and the tawu enter Ifrits Cauldron*

*Louds of people in there, hustle bustle, chattering*
Bob: Whoa, so crowded in here.
*Bump*
<crosseyedturtlecreature> Look where you're walking punk.
Bob: Why don't you walk where you're looking. punk.
Oracle: OWNED!
Joe: ahahahahahah
Kmartaru: ?..?
Kmartaru: ?
Kmartaru: ahahahahhah-
<crossedeyeturtlecreature> slaps Kmartaru.
Kmartaru: Ouchie!
Kmartaru: Hit me again and i'll use my wedding ring!
Oracle: THE ONE RING...TO RULE THEM AAALLLL
*The oracle nods knowingly*
Bob: What does it do anyway?
Joe: I think you turn invisible or something.
*Kmartaru puts on the ring*
BUM BUM BUUUMMM...
Kmartaru: Nothing happened..
Bob: !!
Joe: !!
<crosseyedturtlecreature> !!
Kmartaru: ??
Bob: PUT THAT RING OFF NOW.
Oracle: PUT THAT RING OFF NOW.
*Kmartaru puts the ring off*
Joe: I"M SCARRED FOR LIFE!!
<crosseyedturtlecreature> OMFG!! MY EYES MY EYESS!
Bob: It cant be much more messed up then it already is..
<crosseyedturtlecreature> you litt-
Oracle: You must hurry and destroy THE ONE RING...TO RULE THEM AAALLLL
*The oracle nods knowingly*
Oracle: Because that buffoon put on the ring, <THEMASTER> has detected your position and sent out his deadliest fighting force.
Joe: Which is?
Kmartaru: I'm sorry-worry
Oracle: It is...
BUM BUM BUUUMMM
Oracle: The Nine...
Kmartaru: Nine wah?
Oracle: The Nine Sea-gulls. They have cloaked themselves as black birds on migration and are coming to your position now.
Bob: !!
Joe: Lets hurry.

*Bob, Joe and the stupid buffoon enter the cafeteria*

Bob: Omg... it is a cafeteria.. the stupid kid was right for once
Kmartaru: Oh course!
Joe: omg..
Oracle: Well what are you waiting for! BURN THE THING BURN IT!
Joe: Will do command.
*Joe starts lifting Kmartaru into a firepit*
Oracle: THE RING! NOT HIM. BURN HIM LATER.
Joe: Right ok.
Kmartaru: Phew.

*Bob, Joe and the thing that will be burned later starts lining up at the counter*

Ifrit: Line'em up! No cutting in line or I WILL BURN YOU ALIVE.
*People of all races start to line up*
Ifrit: Today's special is my personal favorite:

Appetizers: Hot sauce salad in curry sauce.
Main course: Spicy Sausage fully dipped in tabasco sauce with notsochilly peppers at the side
Desert: A full gallon of raw tabasco sauce, comes with red peppers if you wish.
for ONLY 19.99 a meal!!

Note: If you don't buy it I will kill you.


Bob: ...
Joe: ...
Bob: Guess we'll line up.
Joe: We'll buy the food then ask him where to burn the ring.
Bob: k.
Kmartaru: Fud?
Joe: ...yes food.
*Kmartaru gives a triumphant cry!*
Kmartaru: Yay!
*Kmartaru does the panic dance*
<randommithra1> awwww
<randomelvaan24> awwww
*Kmartaru smiles warmly*
Bob: Little bastard, get in line.

*6 minutes later*

Ifrit: NEXT.
Bob: Here we go.
*Ifrit dumps a pile of red stuff still steaming*
*Bob can feel heat coming from the stack of stuff*
Bob: omfg..
Joe: Are you kidding me..
Kmartaru: Yummy!
Ifrit: What do you expect? I mean its hel- uh. I mean the Cauldron.
Ifrit: So you want peppers with your desert or not?
Bob: uhm.. no thanks
Ifrit: You?
Joe: Not really, no.
Ifrit: How 'bout you kid?
Kmartaru: yeah! pepper yummy!
*Bob stares at Kmartaru in confusion*
*Joe stares at Kmartaru in confusion*
Kmartaru: What?

Bob: Well ifrit, what we came here for was to drop this ring into your pot.
Oracle: HURRY! I can sense the Sea-Gulls coming.
Ifrit: Well if you want to add stuff to the pot you go to that line
*Ifrit points at a counter labeled "Add stuff to the pot line"*
Bob: uhm, ok.
Ifrit: NEXT.

*The crew joins the "Add stuff to the pot line"*

<randompersoninline5> Look just add it in ok?
<counterwoman> Sorry dude, cant do that.
<randompersoninline5> Just do it!
<counterwoman> We cant add people in there OK!
<randompersoninline5> *mutter* *mutter*
*<randompersoninline5> goes away*

<counterwoman>: NEXT.
Bob: Hello. We need to add this ring to the pot.
<counterwoman>: Lets see it.
*<counterwoman> sees the ring*
<counterwoman>: Hmm.. sure looks like an important ring..
Oracle: HURRY!!
<counterwoman>: Hmm..

Oracle: NOO!!!
* 9 birds enter the Cauldron *
<seagull1-9> Caw! Caw! Caw!
<seagull1> Its okay, we dont need to pretend we're birds anymore.
<seagull2> But we are birds.
<seagull1> Caw! Oh shut up.
<seagull7> I think we should find them first.

Bob: Hurry!
<counterwoman>: Sorry, dude cant do that. Its too metal-like. You'll have to go to that line.
*<counterwoman> points at a counter labeled "Metal Stuff"*
Joe: OMFG. How many lines are there..
<counterwoman> Well theres the food line and the
Kmartaru: Fud!
<counterwoman> Yes food, and we got the add stuff to teh pot line and the metal line, and th-
Joe: OK OK!
Bob: Lets go, before the birds find us.

<seagull1>: There they are!
<seagull1>: Hand over the ring bitch!
<counterwoman>: What did you call me?
<seagull1>: Wasn't talking to you old woman.
<counterwoman>: OLD!!
<seagull1>: Look kid, hand over the ring.
Kmartaru: Never!
*<counterwoman> defeats <seagull1>*
*<seagull1> falls to the ground*
<seagull2> HOLY sh*t!! CAWW!!!
<seagull3> CAWW!!
<seagull4> CAWW!!
<seagull5> CAWW!!
<seagull6> CAWW!!
<seagull7> CAWW!!
<seagull8> CAWW!!
<seagull9> CAW-*cough* AWW!!!!
<seagull6> You've got to work on that caw of your man.
<seagull9> Sorry dude.

<seagull2> Sorry beatiful woman. Please excuse us.
<counterwoman> That sounds more like it.
*<counterwoman> leaves*
Bob: sh*t, we're dead.
Joe: nod
Joe: MT
*Joe nods to Bob*
Kmartaru: I'm kinda hungry
<seagull5> *whisper* Heres our chance!
<seagull2> Look kid, i'll give you this riceball if you give us the ring.
Bob: KMARTARU NOO!!
Joe: OMFG NOO!!
Kmartaru: Shure!
*Kmartaru throws <seagull2> THE ONE RING...TO RULE THEM AAALLLL
*The oracle nods sadly*
Oracle: NOOOO!!!!!!

<seagull2> Easy as that.
Kmartaru: Wheres my Riceee-wicee?
<seagull2> ahhaa. Its in bobs bag.
Kmartaru: RAWR!!
*Kmartaru jumps at bob*
Bob: OMG OMG!! GET HIM OFF MEE!!
<seagull2> ahahah! Lets go guys!
<seagull3> CAWW!!
<seagull4> CAWW!!
<seagull5> CAWW!!
<seagull6> CAWW!!
<seagull7> CAWW!!
<seagull8> CAWW!!
<seagull9> *wheeze* Ca *cuogh* AWWW!!
<seagull6> Seriously dude, work on it.
<seagull9> Alrite alrite.

*<seagull2-9> Exit scene*

Bob: Its all over..
Joe: We're dead..
Kmartaru: Where rice? WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE I WANT FuD.
Oracle: Its not over yet. There is a way... the only way..



Next Volume: The Return of the Tawu.

[Genuine]

you know it would be funny a h*ll if instead of the seagulls saying CAW theyd say MINE! like from Nemo lol but these are really good, you should make a book

[Genuine]

you know it would be funny a h*ll if instead of the seagulls saying CAW theyd say MINE! like from Nemo lol but these are really good, you should make a book

[Alacer]

Volume 10
subtitled "The Return of the Tawu Part I"


Bob: Its all over..
Joe: We're dead..
Kmartaru: Where rice? WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE I WANT FuD.
Oracle: Its not over yet. There is a way... the only way..
Bob: Well say it already
Oracle: the..only way..the one.. way..
Joe: Godamnit say it you mothe-
Oracle: The oneeeee way...
Kmartaru: Fud?
Oracle: *cough* *cough* *wheeze*
Oracle: The oonnee...wa..yy..
Joe: Omg..
Oracle: The one... *cough* *whe-
*<weirddisease> defeats Oracle*
*Oracle falls to the ground*
Bob: HOLY FUK!!!
Kmartaru: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe: OMFG!!!! (rofl) uh.. i mean.. uh.. OMFG!!
Bob: sh*t, what do we do now?
Kmartaru: Find some fud for me to eataru?
Joe: Omg, she just died, stop talking about food.
Bob: Hmm.. lets stay calm here, what do we do?
Joe: GMdev?

*3 minutes later*

GMdev: She died huh? Hmmm..
GMdev: The one way... what could it be?
GMdev: Give me some time..
Kmartaru: Fud?
GMdev: Yes! Thats it! You truly are gifted little midget.
Kmartaru: Fud for me?
Bob: Food?
Joe: ???!!?!?!
GMdev: It sounds like food but what he's really been trying to say is that-
Joe: -we're screwed?
GMdev: nooo.. he was tr-
Kmartaru: SHE BITCHEE-WITCHE!! SHEE!!
*Kmartaru touches his mouth in confusion*
Kmartaru: ?
GMdev: Did you see that!!! Remember that? So I was right all along.
GMdev: You see his real purpose is a living tape recorder. He remembers everything that he has ever heard. All his brain cells are sent to recording all sound. Which kinda explains.. well you know.. his stupidity and why he always repeats what you say.
Kmartaru: Repeat?
GMdev: Well, apparently theres a glitch inside of him that can't be fixed. It is this glitch that sometimes makes his repetitions of sound wrong. It is also this glitch that is stopping him from being the ONE that he is.

Joe: So what was he trying to say about fud?
GMdev: He was refering to... The Feud of the Gods.

---------------------------- Flashback ------------------------

GMdev: Long ago, in a world not very far away, like 11 miles away, the Gods created the world that is Arkd'diel. This world was vast and fertile with all types of good things. One day, <THEMASTER> who was one of the gods came in and said, "I'm hungry." So he ate half of the entire world of Arkd'diel.

The others Gods were like, "Jesus Christ!!!"
Jesus: What? Were you asking for me?
Gods: No, its just a figure of speech.
Jesus: Thou shalt not us-
Gods: Oh shuttup.
<THEMASTER>: Hmm... yummy
Gods: You fat bastard! Look at the destruction you have caused!
<THEMASTER>: *fart*
*Out from his fart comes the race of elvaa- uh. Beastmen.*
<THEMASTER>: I can do what I want! Look at my name!
Gods: We hereby banish you to that fugly place called Vana'diel. That small boring place will be your home for the rest of you life! There you will be forced to look at monsters that roam the lands like ants on a ant hill, and they all look the same! There you will be forced to sit in the corner of the dungeon and make someone pull these monsters to your corner for hours upon hours!
<THEMASTER>: Nice, I get to rule my own world.
Gods: Thats a punishment!!!
<THEMASTER>: Whatever.

-------------------------- Flashback Over --------------------

Bob: This is all kinda random isnt it?
GMdev: Well, actually Kmartaru was in the story. He was just hiding in the corner recording away. That was back when he was the ONE. That is where he learned the "Feud of the Gods". But because of the glitch, he refered to it as Fud.
Joe: So what do we do?
GMdev: You must destroy the glitch and release the ONE from this stupid fool's body.
Bob: Ah.
GMdev: You must venture to the lands of Arkd'diel. There you will find where to fix the glitch.
Bob: So where is Arkd'diel anyway?
GMdev: The entrance to Arkd'diel is everywhere. It can be most easily spotted in any of the three countires though. You'll also need this to be able to enter Arkd'diel.
*GMdev hands Bob a Perpetual Hourglass"

Bob: Whats this?
GMdev: You trade it to a place in one of the cities.
Bob: What place?
GMdev: Hell do I know. I've never been there.
Joe: ..ok..
Kmartaru: ..ok..
GMdev: Well off you go! Theres not much time! When the seagulls return to <THEMASTER> with the ONE RING, all will be lost. I will try to stop them with everything I can. Meanwhile, you must hurry and unlock this glitch.

*Bob, Joe and the tape recorder heads to Bastok*



Next Volume! "Return of the Tawu Part II"
subtitles "Venture to Arkd'diel"

[Genuine]

MOREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Necro923]

LMAOROFL!!!! Gods: You fat bastard! look at how much destruction you caused!!

[Tracezero]

omfg..... i laughed so hard i thoght i was going to shit myself, this was hilarious!! XD

[Alacer]

Volume 11
Return of the Tawu Part II
"Venture to Arkd'diel"

*Bob, Joe and the tape recorder board Airship to bastok*
Bob: /isbored
Joe: How are you bored? We're about to go save the world.
Bob: And how exactly are we going to do that?
Joe: ..
Bob: Yes, by using that 'lil bastard.
Kmartaru: Yes Boj! All urrrrrr fault!
Bob: You're not mithra.
Kmartarrrrrru: Mithwa-witha!
Bob: And his names Joe.

Joe: Goodbye Cruel World!
*Joe jumps off the airship!*
Kmartaru: BOJJJ!!!! NOOOEEEEEEOOEOEOEOOE!!!!!
Joe: hehe.
Bob: ROFL!
Kmartaru: I"M COMING TO SAVE YOUUUU!!!!!!! -taru
*Kmartaru jumps off the airship*
Joe: Holy fuk, he really jumped.
Bob: ohh my fukinngg god..
Kmartaru: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddddddd!

Bob: ....
Joe: ....
GMdev: DO NOT LET THE ONE DIE.
*Bob casts anti-gravity on Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUuu-
Kmartaru: ???
Bob: Unfortunatly I dont have a levitate spell. Thats the best we can do.
Joe: nod
Joe: MT
*Joe nods to Bob*
GMdev: Well what are you waiting for! Go get him!
GMdev: The longer you wait the farther he will be when you land!
Bob: omfg..
Joe: wtf..omfg..

........

Bob: >.<
*Bob jumps off the airship*
Bob: HADOKEN!!!

Joe: >.<
*Joe jumps off the airship*
Joe: COWABUNGA!!!

GMdev: WTF...
<Airshipdriver>: WTF...

*Bob and Joe land in South Gustaberg*
Bob: Oh, sh*t where is he..
Joe: Well lets do some simple math here. The airship takes 3 minutes to go from Jeuno to Bastok. The space between Jeuno and Bastok is approximatly 924732847812374 miles. The stupid fool jumped off about 25-30 seconds before we did. Meaning he is-
Kmartaru: WHERE ARE JOO!!!!
<randomplayer8> Use the Map NoOb!
Kmartaru: Map-wap?
Bob: There he is.
Joe: Jump'em!
*Joe jumps Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: AH!
Kmartaru: Rotten highland bandits from scottland! I shall destroy jOO!
*Kmartaru goes into kung-fu mode*
Kmartaru: RAWR!
*Kmartaru rawrs*
Kmartaru: Come forth evil beings! I shall vanquish you from this earth unto the very soils of hades realm! There shall Cerberus himself devour your sorry excuse for a warrior whole. Finally, he shall sh*t you out in a perfect circle shape.
And voila! You have succesfully synthesised "Warrior Pie +1"!

Bob: ...
Joe: ...
Bob: I think hes hallucinating.
Kmartaru: I will not be defeated by your 'ighland yoddelings! never!
*Joe slaps Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: ?!?! Ouchie-wouchie.
Bob: Lets go, we have yet to get to Arkchipanddaleland.
GMdev: Arkd'diel!
Joe: Sounds like flem to me.
Kmartaru: Go wheretaru?
Bob: Bastok.
Kmartaru: Okie-dokie! Follow new hero!
Bob: ...
Joe: ...
*Bob taru-tosses Kmartaru to the South Gate*
Bob: That solved that. Now lets go.

*Bob and Joe arrive at the South Gate*
Kmartaru: Bannanas for sale! Bannanas for sale! One of these in the bunch have been personally spat out by King Opo-Opo himself!
<randomnewbie0> eeewwww
King Opo-Opo: JOO DUN 'IKE MAH SP'T!!!
<randomnewbie0> Not really, no.
King Opo-Opo: I SHALL SHOW YOU THE WRATH OF THE MONKEY!!
*King Opo-Opo readies MUNKEE STANCE.*

Bob: Enemy Spotted!
Joe: GOGOGO!
Bob: Evacuate current position!
King Opo-Opo: OPO!!!!!!!!
*King Opo-Opo uses MUNKEE STANCE.*
Kmartaru: BANNANAS FOR SA-
*Bob grabs Kmartaru*
Bob: RUN DUDE RUN!!
*King Opo-Opo unleashes "MONKEY STEAL LOTUS"*
(those of you who are chinese know what i mean)
<randomnewbie0> HOLY FUK!! MY [censored] !!! FUKK!!!

Bob: Jesus Christ.
Jesus: ?
Joe: Last time i saw that move I couldn't sleep for weeks.
*Bob shudders*
Kmartaru: What does he do?
Bob: Thats not for a child to know.
<goblinmugger> ja'mon dawgs!
Joe: Mug!
<goblinmugger> sup yo!
Bob: We're just coming here to find Arkflem.
GMdev: Arkd'diel!
<goblinmugger> Oh... 'tat snoops heaven dudes! Dopeland!
GMdev: He means Disneyland.
Bob: yeah..right.
Joe: So you know what to do with these Hourglasses we got?
<goblinmugger> Well what joo do is you hafta find joo'selves some goblin footprints.
Kmartaru: Hmmm.. goblin footprints.. where...hmmm
Bob: omfg..
Kmartaru: hmmm
<goblinmugger> 'tis ones a 'lil slow aint he?
Kmartaru: I FOUND ITT!!!!
*Kmartaru points at a watermelon on the ground*
Bob: ?
Kmartaru: Fud!
*Kmartaru readies Watermelon PWNAGE!!*
*Kmartaru sinks his teeth into the melon!*
Kmartaru: PWNED!!
Bob: Why is the melon pwned...
Kmartaru: tats obvioustaru.
Joe: >.<
Kmartaru: I bit him before it bit me.

<goblinmugger> anywayz... what you do is take out the hourglass.
*Bob takes out Perpetual Hourglass*
<goblinmugger> now you throw it on the ground.
Bob: Where your footprint is?
<goblinmugger> no, just on the ground, anywhere it doesnt matter.
Bob: ook..
*Bob chucks the wierd thing*
<goblinmugger> now you give me ur cash.
Joe: ...
<goblinmugger> alrite alrite, i was just kidding.
Kmartaru: I am a dutch taru!
<goblinmugger> anyway... now you just go in.
Bob: How?
<goblinmugger> how do you think Harry Potter went into that train?
Bob: He ran into a wall.
Bob: You sure about this?
Kmartaru: HERE I COME DISNEYLAND!!! RAWR!!
*Kmartaru runs into the wall*

................


Bob: ?
Kmartaru: Ouchi-wouchie.

<goblinmugger> I never told you to run into a wall. C'mon think! How did he do it!
Bob: Hell do I know!
<goblinmugger> fine fine. i'll do it for you.
*<goblinmugger> gives Bob, Joe and the taperecorder a pass*

Bob: What do we do with it?
<goblinmugger> You eat it.
Kmartaru: Fud?
<goblinmugger> When you swallow it, you will go unconcious and when you wake up you will be in flemland.
GMdev: Arkd'diel!!!!!

Bob: Here goes nothin'
Kmartaru: Fud!
Joe: This isnt what Potter did.
<goblinmugger> thats beyond the point! "Just do it!"
<nikebloodsuckingflesheathinglawyer> According to th-
*Joe uppercuts <nikebloodsuckingflesheathinglawyer>*

<goblinmugger> Well eat it already.
GMdev: DO ITTT!!!
Kmartaru: I'm really full tho, from melon-welon.
<goblinmugger> Oh man, you guys are such pussies. Theres another way.
*<goblinmugger> pushes Bob*
*<goblinmugger> pushes Joe*
*<goblinmugger> pushes Kmartaru*

*The three enter Arkd'diel*
Bob: Whoa...
Joe: Jesus...
Kmartaru: !!!!
Tim: Hmm?
Bob: WTF!!
*Bob pushes Tim*

*Tim exits scene*

Bob: anyways..
Joe: Whoa...

[OWA_900]

Ahahahaha... very nice /claps :D

[Blood Red Poet]

Hmmm this was posted on Alla... a while ago. Were you the original poster or just stole it from him? ._.;

[Alacer]

Volume 13

Bob: Whoa...
Joe: Whoa...
Kmartaru: *fart*

*The world that surrounds them is not that of the simple Vana'diel that they were so used to. What surrounds them now is a world of green plains that go as far as the eye sees.. and maybe a little farther. Now imagine it went a bit farther, now imagine it went even farther.. got it? Yeah, thats about how far it goes off into the horizon.*

Bob: ..W.T.F.
Joe: WTF
Kmartaru: *burp*

*But the plains that surround them now were not deserted. There were thousands upon thousands of people that can be seen wandering the plain. A HUGE, i mean huge, building can be seen in the horizon... and maybe a little farther. Now imagine it went a bit farther, now imagine it went even farther.. got it? Yeah, thats about how far it was."

Bob: Uhm.. exucuse me..

*Bob pokes <trainer1>*

<trainer1> wHaT!!
Bob: Uhm.. where are we?
<trainer1>: You live in a hole or something? C'mon lets see the strength of your pokemobs.
Joe: Say what?
<trainer1>: Dont tell me you don't know what a pokemob is either..
Bob: Say what?
<trainer1>: Oh man, you must realy live in a hole. Which hole do you live in? Down Pokestree5? or 6? I had a friend who once lived there, said it was a d-
Joe: WTF are you talking about.
<trainer1>: Just trying to start a convo jeez. chill dudes
*Shiva: Chiiilllll....*
Bob: uhmm.. ok..
<trainer1>: C'mon! I'll show you what my Pokemobs got! GO ROBBER CRAB!!

*<trainer1> sends Robber Crab*

Bob: WTF
Joe: WTF
<trainer1> c'mon! Send out your pokemob.
Bob: Uhm..
*Bob shoves Kmartaru in front of him*

Kmartaru: ??
Joe: LOL
<trainer1> You have to say "I choose you kmartaru!"
Bob: Say what?
Joe: ....
Bob: uhm.. ok..
Bob: I.. choose ..y..ou! Kmartaru..(wtf)

Kmartaru: RAWR!!
<Robbercrab>: *snip* *snip*
Bob: (This looks mighty familiar...)
Kmartaru: I WILL EAT jOO ALIVE!!!
Bob: Kmartaru! Use "Eat Alive!"
Kmartaru: RAWR!!!!
*Kmartaru uses "eat alive"*
*Kmartaru bites <Robbercrab>*
*<Robbercrab> takes 17 points of damage!*

<trainer1>: Crabcakes! Use "Crabcake's Chocolate Cake"
*Robber Crab uses Crabcakes Chocolate Cake"
*Kmartaru eats Chocolate Cake"
Kmartaru: Hm...Next timey-wimey more cake and less Coco-moco.
*Robber Crab takes out handy dandy notebook and writes down notes"

Bob: ...
Bob: Kmartaru! Use.. "Watermelon PWNage!"
Kmartaru: RAWR!!
*Kmartaru leaps in the air!"
*Kmartaru does a pose"
Kmartaru: RAWR!
*Kmartaru takes out a Watermelon in midair"
Kmartaru: Scrump.fertughlusdehdmunchmunchscrumpdilimunch..
*Kmartaru is Power'ed up!"

<Robber Crab>: ??

*Kmartaru leaps onto Robber Crabs back"
Kmartaru: This is for your damn shell spell! Hiiiiyaa!
*Kmartaru bites Robber Crab*
Kmartaru: This is for resisting dispel! Waaattaa!!
*Kmartaru bites Robber Crab*
Kmartaru: And this is for looking the same for 60 levels!
*Kmartaru "Taru Slaps" Robber Crab*

*Robber Crab falls to the ground*
*Kmartaru defeats Robber Crab*


<trainer1>: Wow your skills are really above average. Now to finish off with a corny joke that involves a play on words... hmm...

*BUM BUM BUUMM!!!*

*Two people in GM armor jump in front of the trio*

<mysteriousmale1>: Prepare for trouble!
<mysteriousmale2>: Make it double!
<mysteriousmale1>: To make ourselves known throughout our nation!
<mysteriousmale2>: To throw the world in devastation!
<mysteriousmale1>: To announce our love for each other!
<mysteriousmale2>: To let it known that we are lovers!
<mysteriousmale1>: Tefa!
<mysteriousmale2>: Amggot!
<Tefa>: Team Faggot, blast off at the speed of light!
<Amggot>: Surrender now or prepare to fight!

*Tefa and Amggot does some stupid random poses*

Tefa: I told you that you cant put your arm under your leg like that, you'll trip.
Amggot: But it looks deadly!
Tefa: We need to look synchronized!
Amggot: But we are! OH tefa!
Tefa: Oh! Amggot!

Bob: ....
Joe: .. oh god spare us.
<god>: Say again? I was a little bit busy.
Bob: Uhm....
Joe: Anyways..

Tefa: You! The one who looks like a pig!
*Kmartaru kicks Joes foot discretley*
Joe: Hes talking to you, idiot.
Kmartaru: ?
Tefa: Yes you, who else. Get out of my sight immediatley you revolting animal!
*Amggot smacks Kmartaru out of the scene*
Kmartaru: AAAHHHAAaaaaaaa.....

Tefa: You! Dont move or I'll shove you so full of lead I could sharpen your head and call you a pencil!
*Tefa waves his gun menancingly*

Amggot: Crap! We havent made a corny joke involving a play on words yet! And we've already been on stage for 2 1/2 minutes!
Tefa: Jesus Christ!
Amggot: uhm..uhm.. quick!
*Tefa throws a Sticky Bomb at Bob and Joe*

*Bob and Joe are in some kind of web*

Tefa: You're in a "sticky" situation now arent you!
Amggot: ahahhahahah!

Bob: ...
Joe: ...

Tefa: Now we'll bring you to my master.

*36.76 minutes later*

*Team faggot brings Bob and Joe to the HUGE, i mean huge, building can be seen in the horizon... and maybe a little farther. Now imagine it went a bit farther, now imagine it went even farther.. got it? Yeah, thats about how far it was.

Bob: Damn its far..
*Bob chockes on some dust*
Tefa: Out of our way! Out of our way!
*Tefa spreads the sea of wandering nomads like moses*

Joe: Wow nice move.

*The four of them enter the building*

*Inside, the building is a magnificent masterpiece fit for Gods. The grey marble on the ground so smooth, the grey pillars so finely sculpted. They look up and directly above them is a fantastic piece of grey chandilier glowing brightly under a dark grey ceiling."

Amggot: Follow me you scoundrling pack of dogs! And if you're wondering, he was color blind.

*They enter the a room marked "Main Room"*

Tefa: I have brought the strangers milord.
Amggot: What shalt we thou great one?

Spam'myacount: Get out of my sight! I fear one more look at your incompetent faces would make me so revolted you could say I looked like..well.. that animal there!

*Spam'myacount points at Kmartaru*
Bob: How the
Joe: Hell?
Kmartaru: ?

Skam'lamount: Anyway, get out of here!
Tefa: Team faggot, blast off at the speed of light!
*Team faggot scatters away*

Spam'myacount: I have brought you here to help you help me. I fear that my kingdom is so hopeless you could put a cup in its hand and call it a hobo.

Bob: Ok...

Spam'myacount: I know that you seek the "glitch" and seek to fix it. However, many years ago an anciet beast pranced along and stole the "glitch". That beast was so fugly you could bleach it white and call him Michael Jackson.

Joe: soo...

Spam'myacount: And to find this beast you must go to his lair in the deepest cave of the darkest tunnel in the scariest mountain of the most horrible land. Its so ridiculously revolting that you could put a picture of Michael Jackson caught in the act of molesting a child next to it and the picture would seem like a godsend.

Bob: /shudder

Spam'myacount: Yes I fear so.
well thats why Im a bum. those damn hobos have nothing to do with me. one of them was sleeping in my entrance to my apartment the other night. the next morning we found a pile of feces in the doorway. I now despise hobos and their feces.

Bob: Uhm okay, that was kinda random.

Spam'myacount: Yes, I also fear that I am as Schizofrenic as Jim Carey in..well.. any of his movies actually.

Spam'myacount: Well! What are jOO waiting for! Get a move on!
Spam'myacount: You shouldn't be so hostile to the guests of out nation.
Spam'myacount: Screw that bitch! I'm the king!
Spam'myacount: Actually,
Spam'myacount: Actually my ass. Now get out of my sight before I stab a hole in your back, stick a moving piece of metal in you and call you a pencil sharpener!
Spam'myacount: Dont mind him, hes very rude.
Spam'myacoutn: Rude my ass! Now go to the stupid mountain and kick that beast's ass (if it has one)!

Bob: -.-
Joe: -.-
Kmartaru: +.=
Bob: you did it wrong.
Kmartaru: -.+
Joe: try the other eye
Kmartaru: +.+
Bob: God, its hopeless.
<god>: Yes he is.



*Bob and Joe enter the city*

Bob: Excuse me, uhm excuse me.
Joe: 'scuse me.
*villagers ignore them*
Bob: Damnit, how are we supposed to find out where the damn mountain is.
Kmartaru: I.. have a cunning plan.
Joe: Yes, lets not forget that you tried to solve the problem of your mothers low ceiling by chopping off her head.

Bob: But I fear that we have run out of plans. Lets hear him out.
Kmartaru: Well what youu-woo is simple. First you find a map. Then follow it to a mountain. Then you check it for a scary-wary tunnel and a darky cave and a fugly beastie.
Bob: YOu want us to check every single mountain on earth?
Kmartaru: Precisley-wisly.
Joe: ...

<pedestrianA>: Sorry I couldn't help but listen in on your conversation. But to find this ancient beast all you have to do is buy the map like the midget said.

Bob: You serious?

<pedestrianA>: Yes quite, you can find him at D-9 in Northern Arkd'diel.
Joe: Thanks man!

*The trio head to D-9*

<randommapmaker1> Yo sup! Would you like a magical map to aid your travels! We currently have these maps on sale:

Map of Big Plains Area
Map of HUGE building
Map of the very far place in the horizon
Map of "Space Mountain"

Bob: Sounds like a place in disn-
Joe: We'd like to buy the "Space Mountain" Map.
<randommapmaker1> Sure! That'll be 8.99, thank you.

*The trio head to "Space Mountain"*

Bob: OMFG AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
*Bob screams like a woman*
Joe: OMFG AAAAAhHHHHH!!!!!
*Joe screams like a woman*
Kmartaru: OMFG AAAAHHHH!!!!
*Kmartaru screams like a wom- like normal*

Bob: Damn it is scary.
Joe: /shudder

Kmartaru: OMFG AAAAHHHH!!!!

Kmartaru: OMFG AAAAHHHH!!!!

Kmartaru: OMFG AAAAHHHH!!!! Behind jOO!

Bob: Its ok dude, just a mountain.

*Thud*
*Thud*
*Clonk*

.................................................................

[Alacer]

Bob: Ugh... what.. happened...
Kmartaru: I dunno
*Kmartaru munches happily on a watermelon*
Bob: Where the hell did you get that?
Kmartaru: Nice big man give to me-we.
Bob: Nice big man?
*Kmartaru points at <ancientbeast>*

<ancientbeast>: I'm no nice big man. That was just to shut him up. That midget can talk non-stop. I mean non-stop.

*Bob nods knowingly*

Bob: It may be true that we both hate this annoying, but cute midget. But the facts stay true. You're a ugly monster, I need the "glitch" and Joe is gone!

<ancientbeast> I have special plans for him..heh
<ancientbeast> I handed them over to Team Faggot.. for a little.. shall i say amusement..heh

Bob: ...

<ancientbeast> And you and that pig of a creature shall die tomorow for trying to steal the glitch back!

*Nightime*

Kmartaru: lalala
Kmartaru: You know, just the other day I saw a very special person! Do you know who I saw!
Bob: noo...
Kmartaru: I saw Walmartaru! My good buddy!
Bob: God..

Bob: Now shutup while I think of a plan or tomorow we meet our maker. It my case, God. In your case God knows. But i'll be damn sure he hasnt gotten any designer awards.

Kmartaru: I..have a cunning plan

Bob: ... I dont want to hear it
*Kmartaru gives a very very cute and sad face*
Bob: Oh alright.
Kmartaru: Okay, the solution-lution is a simple one. What we do is this...

to be continued...

[Necro923]

Alacer... u r a god dude ur hilarious.. lol Team faggot blast off at the speed of light

[TheMidg]

Hilarious stuff